People who give up make me want to vomit

skiboston · September 2011

I have heard WAY to many people today bitching about IF and that they are giving up and frankly it makes me physically ill. What are we in nursery school if something gets to hard give up. And they have tried like two things, one such person had the nerve to *** to me (ignites head on fire)

Serendipitie · September 2011

Well, you must love me, as we are probably going for IVF #4 against my better judgement! Wink

I think those giver uppers are just saying it so that the universe will get the pregnant, you know, because they stopped trying Confused

Dr.Loretta · September 2011

I'm sorry, people aren't allowed to give up if it's not working for them?

skiboston · September 2011

they are allowed to do whatever they want but I don't care for the bitching about how hard IF is after they basically have tried nothing. If you did one round of clomid and are bitching to me I really have no desire to deal with you and esp if you are then giving up. Or someone who PM me after they had an HSG and just said it's to hard the day after I had my 2nd m/c.

skiboston · September 2011

Serendipitie:
Well, you must love me, as we are probably going for IVF #4 against my better judgement!
I think those giver uppers are just saying it so that the universe will get the pregnant, you know, because they stopped trying

Must be, maybe we should all do that and oops it will just happen

I always think of you when I am about to complain, you are to be looked up too because if there was ever the definition of someone who preservers it's you.

Dr.Loretta · September 2011

I would argue that if IF is a whole new world to them and is as overwhelming as it was for most of us right out of the gate, it can be very easy to give up and not want ot deal with the poking, prodding, and lack of privacy.

Now, if they know about your 2 m/c's, that's just being insensitive.

But as someone who did "light" IF treatments, I get pissed off when people tell me I'm "supposed" to do more when I don't want to, or when the thought of seeing my RE gives me panic attacks.

skiboston · September 2011

Dr.Loretta:
I would argue that if IF is a whole new world to them and is as overwhelming as it was for most of us right out of the gate, it can be very easy to give up and not want ot deal with the poking, prodding, and lack of privacy.

Now, if they know about your 2 m/c's, that's just being insensitive.

But as someone who did "light" IF treatments, I get pissed off when people tell me I'm "supposed" to do more when I don't want to, or when the thought of seeing my RE gives me panic attacks.

If these were the ppl that were overwhelmed I would get it, but they are not and the person that wrote knows my story well. As I have gone to the doctor my whole life I am immune, however my poor sister was bashed and battered so much she is panicked to go so I get it. I just feel like it's a huge smack in the face to the people like dip who are on cycle 40+ and still in the hunt.

gidge · September 2011

Sorry you had a rough day

I think everyone has a different set of limits and handle IF differently and has a different limit of how much intervention is ok for them. Not to mention, we all have different financial and personal limits.

I had a coworker that didn't think she'd try IVF and then when she did and thought it wouldn't work, said she didn't know if they would try adoption... my limits are obviously very different. We don't plan to rule out adoption. I couldn't have tried as long before going to the RE as she did and would have done IVF earlier in the process.

Of course, I get the impression she thinks I should go to the out-of-state Dr who thought I could get pregnant with with my eggs. I just can't handle that same disappointment again (not to mention we need to not go bankrupt should we somehow get a child). I cried on my way to almost every follie check our last cycle and my eyes start to water whenever I see the clinic number on my caller id. We're trying this because I'd like to be pregnant and because we have some frozen sperm but I am on the very edge of done.

Anyway, long,drawn-out, drunken way of saying - nothing of substance? But going for - we all have different paths.

Serendipitie · September 2011

I do have to throw it out there that if we didn't get lucky with a clinical trial and serendipitous insurance coverage, we would still be temping, CBEFM and timed sex, with little hope for a miracle. We did the testing, and then we did H's surgery, and then were out of options because we couldn't afford IVF. I would be happy to do Clomid, IUI, etc. but was told we had virtually no chance with any other treatment. I am also fortunate that IVF fits for us - not everyone is willing to do it or feels that it is the right choice for them. I never wanted to do it either, but I got over that the more time went by.

I think I understand your point though - I get annoyed at people too. What I think you are describing feels a lot like the woman who has tried for six months and is SURE something is wrong because she has been trying "sooooo long". I would probably be annoyed at someone who feels the initial testing is too much and then goes on to *** about IF. I get annoyed at a lot of people though for a lot of things, so maybe I'm not the best person to ask.

dragontears507 · September 2011

Wow. This is incredibly insensitive and hurtful. My DH and I have gone through a chemical pregnancy, an ectopic pregnancy and now a year of IF. Maybe we're not veterans like you but that doesn't mean that I dont' get emotionally overwhelmed. Sometimes I feel like we should take a break from all the drugs and whatnot. I just can't keep going through the emotional up and down each month. The 2ww is unbearable and every BFN makes me more and more depressed, to the point where my DH says he rarely sees me smile. So if I give up the obsessing, even if only for a little, I've reached my emotional limits and you of all people should understand that. Your comments have actually made me incredibly angry. How can you be so hurtful? This board is for support, use it properly!!!!

Serendipitie · September 2011

dragontears507:
Wow. This is incredibly insensitive and hurtful. My DH and I have gone through a chemical pregnancy, an ectopic pregnancy and now a year of IF. Maybe we're not veterans like you but that doesn't mean that I dont' get emotionally overwhelmed. Sometimes I feel like we should take a break from all the drugs and whatnot. I just can't keep going through the emotional up and down each month. The 2ww is unbearable and every BFN makes me more and more depressed, to the point where my DH says he rarely sees me smile. So if I give up the obsessing, even if only for a little, I've reached my emotional limits and you of all people should understand that. Your comments have actually made me incredibly angry. How can you be so hurtful? This board is for support, use it properly!!!!

This board is also for venting, where anyone can express their feelings, just like you can express yours. But don't tell others how to "use the board" especially when you're a newb who I have never seen post once here, not even an intro.

lenloe · September 2011

dragontears507:
This board is for support, use it properly!!!!

hmm. i thought this board was just for boobie drawings and ass grabs.

:revises board description:

dragontears507 · September 2011

I'm just saying that you're entitled to your feelings but I am entitled to mine as well. I just think it's inconsiderate to be so direct to such a specific group of people. Just because I'm new to this doesn't mean you need to be a *** to me or what I'm going through as well. You were new to this once too and I'm sure you felt just as overwhelmed as I am and others are when they decide they need a break. These boards alone overwhelm me. There are so many terms and meds that I'm learning and so are others, so take that into consideration. I'm sorry for what you've gone through and for the stupid inconsiderate people who you mention. That sucks. I merely think you've made an overgeneralization about newbies and frankly it's hurtful.

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