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Toddlers: 24 Months+
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The mom we all hate...
Is me.
The one with no patience, yells to be heard, and loses her cool with everyone (including her 2.5yo).
Today was just a horrible day and I hate myself for acting so crazy.
I'm not sure if it's the pregnancy hormones, stresses of daily life, or the combination of these things, but I am literally at my wits end.
My DD is the light of my life, she really is, but lately she has constantly been wanting to be stuck to me like glue. I can't go to the bathroom, take a shower, or check the mail without her wailing for me. Nothing.
DH does nothing to appease her, so while I'm trying to take a nice relaxing bath (once in a blue moon), he's letting her scream outside the bathroom door.
Also, she's intentionally disobeys. She does not listen and when I put her in time out, she constantly tries to get out causing me to lose my patience.
I think I just need to be able to have some time to myself every now and then, but then I'm made to feel like a horrible person. I'm not talking all day, but an hour or two here and there would make such a difference.
Am I wrong to feel this way?
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This discussion has been closed.
Re: The mom we all hate...
All of the above, but you get more credit because I'm not pregnant(and I am still this)...
I honestly think it's a day-to-day thing...DD and I have some great days, and then we have some not-so-great days and then we have AWFUL days...
Maybe you & your DH need to come up with a better plan...I get 4 hours 1x a week for just me...paint my toes, go shopping, take a bath, etc. And DH isn't allowed to have DD in the house if that's where I've chosen to have my time...
It doesn't sound like much, but 4 solid hours of whatever you want to do...it gives you more patience to be able to deal with the bad days... + DH and DD get to connect, which they wouldn't if they didn't do this...
I just came to this board to ask a quick question and read your post....Had to answer. I'm that mom and not pregnant, but have the same issues as you...
We all can't be perfect 100% of the time, we're only human.
I could have written this, except I'm not pregnant and have two kids. And in my experience 3.5 yo is much worse than 2.5 yo, at least with my DS.
Most days I'm ready to leave them on the steps of a church and run far, far away. And I have no family here, DH works tons of hours, and I haven't had any "me" time in months. It seems all I do is yell or am irritable, exhausted, or upset. I'm surprised I have any sanity left at all.
I feel you!
I feel that I yell a lot too, then I hate myself for it. I agree with the pp - could you look into a MDO program or an occasional sitter/mother's helper? I feel like a better mom after I get a little "me" time.
I think we have all been there don't be to hard on yourself.
I yelled at ds the other day to give mommy a "little break, like 5 minutes" knowing he totally had no concept of what that meant. He came up to me and pretended to pick something up off the floor and then with his pinched little fingers handed me what he called "here's a break mommy, you have it". I just about died
This. Exactly. You need to have a chat with your DH about partnering up - especially while you're extra vulnerable to the swings that will naturally come your way with pregnancy.
I'm inclined to see the situation a little differently. Maybe it's a DH issue, but maybe DH is trying to wrangle her and she's being really willful and mommy-centered. DD goes through phases like this and it pretty much breaks my heart to see how she'll treat DH in those phases. She will tell him he's not her friend, mommy is, things like that, and she would absolutely do something like wail outside a closed door if she knew I was on the other side of it, with DH doing all he could to calm her down or distract her. Physically removing her from outside the door makes her take her anger out on him, which he'll still try to do, but all around, it just sucks, especially if it's at a time of day in which he can't really take her outside to the park or for a walk or something.
Anyway, I ditto PP, assuming your DH is as present/available as he can be and just can't do much more, getting a babysitter is the answer. Or a MDO/preschool program. And use that time to sit in a bubble bath or read a book, don't use it to clean the house top to bottom.
Oh boy I know I have my days. Usually I'm pretty even-tempered but since being pregnant (especially since the end of the 2nd trimester) I feel like my patience with EVERY thing is just shot! Some days I just feel rage at everything for no reason lol "SCREW YOU TOASTER FOR... um.. POPPING UP 2 SECONDS EARLY!!!" Then the next day I'm fine and have lots of energy and am all happy and bubbly. WTH.
I try not to take it out on DS but I know I'm not a very fun mom on those off days..then I feel all guilty and awful at night with the other side of pregnancy hormones making me weepy. I keep telling myself, just 3 more months of crazy emotions...It's been a rough week, DH's job has been quite busy so we've both been working long days (him at work, me with the little guy) and we're both pretty tired by the evening.
Thanks everyone for your responses! I feel so much better knowing I'm not the only one. DH is pretty good with DD most of the time, but as a pp stated, she's not necessarily open to his advances sometimes and it makes it pretty hard on both of us.
I've thought of the MDO type things, but we live in a small town and I haven't been able to find anything. I've mentioned to my friends with kids about starting a mommy group, but none of them seemed interested. =/
I think things will get better. I think it's partly a phase and partly her realizing that something is different with mommy...
Hopefully things get better soon, but thanks for all of the kind words!