Wish these feelings would go away

my4pups · September 2011

I hate sharing my baby with my husband's family. They are the nicest people in the world and I couldn't ask for better inlaws...but I get this very possessive feeling over my DS when they are around and I can't stand sharing him with them. What the hell is wrong with me?!?

LynsiBHM · September 2011

no advice... i'm the same way. I literally have to leave the room when MIL visits Indifferent

I'm not that way with my own family or friends- just the inlaws.

Cjohn1211 · September 2011

Same here! My IL's are wonderful but I feel the same exact way when they are around....strange.

my4pups · September 2011

At least I feel a little better that I am not alone!

My husband says that he thinks its because I make it out to be a competition between me and his mother when it comes to the baby... maybe I do?? I don't know.... ugh.

jgoo · September 2011

I had the same thing with MIL when DS was born. He was her first grandbaby so she was allllll about him & I just wanted him to myself.

It definitely got better. She is the sweetest lady in the world, but if she took him from me or said something, I learned to speak up about it.

my4pups · September 2011

AshC311:
I'm the same way. I've gotten better about it when MIL comes to visit. C is going through a stage right now where she doesn't want anyone but me. I smirk inside when MIL is holding C and she cries for me. I do refuse to let MIL babysit C. I won't bring C to her house because it's too small/cluttered/dirty. I won't let her babysit C at our place because I think she'd snoop through our stuff. I feel like an awful person for that because I know my mom doesn't automatically have more rights to her than my MIL, but it is what it is.
She also tends to just make weird comments whenever she's over about C, like "I'm going to tell her when she gets grounded that she can always call me and I'll come get her and we'll go shopping." My immediate reaction was "so you're already planning to undermind our authority has her parents?" I try to ignore it but it just rubs me the wrong way.

LOL! I know what you mean about those little comments!!! My DS was playing with a set of toy car keys the other day and my MIL said "Oh this little boy just loves his car keys!! That means that Gramma is going to have to buy you a car one day...don't you worry, Gramma is going to buy you the best car right when you turn 16!!"

I wanted to FLIP out and then I had to bring myself down a notch and remind myself that I have 16 more years to worry about that argument...!

g00dg0llymsm0lly · September 2011

LynsiBHM:
no advice... i'm the same way. I literally have to leave the room when MIL visits I'm not that way with my own family or friends- just the inlaws.

Same here, except, I know exactly why I feel this way- My ILs are BSC and mean.

kaydogger · September 2011

I'm that way too but am really trying to get over it. After all, we're going to be the MIL one day and I hope my daughter or son's spouse don't feel that way about me

lsomerville · September 2011

g00dg0llymsm0lly:

LynsiBHM:
no advice... i'm the same way. I literally have to leave the room when MIL visits I'm not that way with my own family or friends- just the inlaws.

Same here, except, I know exactly why I feel this way- My ILs are BSC and mean.

THIS

RayRay007 · September 2011

I'm the same with my in-laws. I think the reason why is because I know how my parents parent and I know/trust what they're going to do with DD, but I don't know what the ILs would do with DD.

The other day FIL came over to help DH with some building and MIL came along. I don't know why she always comes along. There's nothing for her to do and even if I ask her to do something she's really no help at all. Anyway. She took DD off my hands for a minute and DD decided to have one of her stranger-anxiety moments. She was bawling her head off, sounding absolutely petrified, and MIL just keeps walking away from me with her. I don't really baby my baby, but stranger-anxiety moments are one time when I want DD to trust me and others. So I wanted to take her from MIL and soothe her, but MIL kept walking away! I was literally running to catch up with her so I could take my baby back!

Angel2416 · September 2011

I'm glad I'm not the only one! I thought it was just me.

My IL's are fairly nice, they're just TOO opinionated. I can't stand having our DS around them. I'm fine with MY family and friends, but the IL's.... I can't stand. They've babysat for us three times in the past 5 months and I always worry about it.

I hope it gets easier. I really don't like feeling this way. The anxiety and upset feelings are sometimes too much.

march2008 · September 2011

I have the same feelings. I think it's because my MIL and DH's grandma both claim that they "willed me to have a baby girl" because they wanted a grand-daughter so badly. MIL really wanted to have a baby girl, but she was given 2 boys. So now, I have the only grand-daughter of the family so far and they are so obsessed with her that it's bizarre. My SIL is trying to have a baby and I'm crossing my fingers that she has a baby girl, too, so that MIL and Grand-MIL can obsess over someone else's baby!

SouthFloridaMommy · September 2011

My ILs are not the nicest people in the world, but I definitely feel the same way. I hate it when my MIL comes in and just takes DD without even talking to me first. I also feel that she acts like she can calm DD better than I can, but I don't know if that is me being possessive or if she is really doing it...

Kristen3009 · September 2011

I feel the same way! Only my in-laws babysit- AT our house... which I know I am supposed to feel grateful for, but this allows them to arrive early, stay late, snoop, "tidy", and all-around baby-hog waaaaaay more than I'm comfortable with, and frankly I am just not as grateful about it as I am completely irritated by it. Needless to say, my parents and siblings get dibs on all other activities with my baby because they don't get to see him all week and because they don't annoy the crap out of me...

I have to say, I always thought I had the best in-laws ever and I liked my MIL a lot, but the constant flow of unsolicited advice, unannounced drop-by visits, spoiling, constant obnoxious stories of how "I did it this way with [my husband/her son]" and I swear they tell the exact same stories over and over like a broken record.... there was a full 4 days straight where I heard THE EXACT SAME story about when my husband was a baby and this one thing my baby does allegedly exactly the same as he did... I heard that stupid story every single day. I know we're lucky they love our kid this much, but still, I'm completely unapologetic about my irritation with them!

Angel2416 · September 2011

Ok,,, FOLLOW UP QUESTION LADIES....

Because you feel this way about your IL's does it cause tension with your DH?

dlh1z71@yahoo.com · September 2011

I don't like my MIL at all...FIL is great. I, too, get very possessive. I've recently been trying to get tell myself that we're only visiting and aren't staying there long, to just walk away and cool down. Little by little I'm getting better at it, but it's quite the struggle!

TPINK6283 · September 2011

LynsiBHM:
no advice... i'm the same way. I literally have to leave the room when MIL visits I'm not that way with my own family or friends- just the inlaws.

THIS!!! Everytime! I kinda plan things to get done when she comes over!

J9melissa · September 2011

I'm the same way, though I feel this way because of the comments my MIL makes "I have to remember I"M not the mommy..I'm the GMA. I would be doing things differently". AND the way my FIL is around A; not supportive of his head, wanting to give him ice cream already...etc.

TheMrsHodges · September 2011

Angel2416:
Ok,,, FOLLOW UP QUESTION LADIES....

Because you feel this way about your IL's does it cause tension with your DH?

I also feel this way about my IL's. Mostly just my MIL. She is constantly making rude disrespectful comments about us as parents, she talks to DD and says "your parents don't know what they're doing, they don't know how to take care of you" and she's like "grandma has come to rescue you" and that's just the tip of the iceberg. DH and I fought about it at first because he took my criticism of his mother and one of his sisters as me not liking them and just being mean. But now that his mom continues to make comments and the other things that she does he feels the exact same way. He's pretty close to writing them off. Not just because of this but other things that have happened between him and his parents.

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