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Please tell me if I'm being unreasonable: bday and MIL

05/0605/06
in Toddlers: 24 Months+

We are having DD's bday party at the Little Gym this Saturday. Since we mentioned it to our families 6 months ago MIL threw a big fit about it not being at our house etc. Therefore I decided to have something at the Little Gym and a little get together at our house for the family the following day (this Sunday).

Well last night DD threw up all night (didnt have fever), so this morning I told DH maybe we should call our families 8 people total and tell them we are sorry but we are going to reschedule for the following weekend at our house. Since DD was throwing up, plus she was going to have pizza and cake two days in a row and not get any rest.

Well nobody had a problem with it, but MIL as always. She threw a huge fit saying we couldnt do that etc etc. How we are selfish and we are inconviencing her, which I understand and aplogize but you cant help when a child is going to get sick. I also understand if she has plans for next weekend and cannot make it, since we are changing the date. She also said why we wouldnt cancel the party at the Little Gym. Which if we did we would be out of pocket over $200. Its always a control issue with her. We've had all kinds of boundry and control issues with her.

WDYT?

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Re: Please tell me if I'm being unreasonable: bday and MIL

  • LLB430LLB430 member
    Well I would think from her stand point if she is well enough to have a party on Sat. you could probably have one on Sunday too.  But don't ask me to be objective about in law issues (see my post below:)
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  • 05/0605/06
    I totally get that. But its also not as easy to cancel a party at a venue than telling a few people (family no less), we will see them the following week. She has also been invited to the party to the Little Gym on Saturday for weeks now and she refuses to go.
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  • LLB430LLB430 member
    Well if she has been invited to the Little Gym party and is refusing to go that is her problem!
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  • jencoljencol

    She sounds ridiculous to me! I would totally cancel the family party, to spare my child from TWO days of cake and no naps. Also, she's invited to the Little Gym party and won't go? Um, ok. I hope that your little one feels better and that you all have a good time at the Little Gym party!! Good luck!

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  • FrickandFrackFrickandFrack member
    I don't think you are being unreasonable at all.  She needs to get over it.
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  • KathrynMDKathrynMD member
    I wouldn't cancel a party 3 days from now b/c of a pukey kid.  Who knows how she'll be on Sunday?  I think its really rude of your MIL to complain about this, but I think its a little rude of you to be more than willing to cancel the later party w/ your family just because its easier when you don't even know how your kid will be on Saturday or Sunday. 
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  • Raspberry222Raspberry222

    DD gets a home-made cake or cupcake on her actual b-day (with just dad & mom...NO-ONE else)... NO exceptions...that's something very special to us and it is what it is...

    She then gets 1 party...and if whoever in the family cannot attend for whatever reason than that's their problem...it is WAY too difficult & expensive to make separate parties and if your MIL doesn't understand that, tell her to foot the bill and open up her house for people.

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  • honeybeezhoneybeez
    Are you married to any of my husband's brothers....This totally sounds like my lunatic, controlling, pain-in-the-arse mother-in-law...
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  • thumper57thumper57 member

    But I also think it looks bad on you to cancel the party on Sunday, yet having a party at Little Gym on Saturday.

    If she was too sick then you would need to cancel the Saturday party.    I am going to be on MIL side on this.

    As for where you want to have the party  (your house or little gym, that is not her business.

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  • SouthFloridaMommySouthFloridaMommy member

    imageKathrynMD:
    I wouldn't cancel a party 3 days from now b/c of a pukey kid.  Who knows how she'll be on Sunday?  I think its really rude of your MIL to complain about this, but I think its a little rude of you to be more than willing to cancel the later party w/ your family just because its easier when you don't even know how your kid will be on Saturday or Sunday. 

    I agree with this.  While I understand that it is easier to cancel the family party, I also understand why a family member would question your not cancelling the Little Gym party.  She has no right to be obnoxious about it.  If she is refusing to go to the Little Gym party, that is her problem.  Your LO, your party, your home - if you want to cancel it, cancel it.

    BTW - we had a Little Gym party for DD's 2nd birthday and it was awesome.  Have fun.

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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member
    I too don't understand the logic of having a sick child and canceling the LATER party. But that aside, your MIL sounds obnoxious. But it works for her. You planned a 2nd party because of her. Honestly - stop. She doesn't like the Little Gym party? Oh well. Not her kid, not her choice. Stop caving to her
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  • Josie22Josie22

    On my son's first birthday I didn't think he was feeling very well. We didn't know he was lactose intolerant yet. So he was having some digestive issues. She insisted he would be fine and she really wanted to see him no matter what. So I let her see him. Then he puked and pooped all over her.

    She trusts me when I tell her he's not feeling well now.

    Maybe you should let her get puked on.

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