Both IF and loss ladies?

illinigal · September 2011

This is for those of you that have suffered both IF and loss.

DH and I had a discussion last night of how to move forward. I've heard that after someone has a baby/loss that they get pregnant easier the next time. Any truth to this? Does it matter if the diagnosis is MFI? Did you have a loss and then get pregnant shortly thereafter? If so, was it the old-fashioned way or did you do treatment such as IUI or IVF?

We are trying to decide if we should do IVF right away after the required 3 cycle wait post loss or if we should try the fun way for a couple months before doing IVF again. We'll be OOP when we do IVF again and it would be nice to not spend that money if we don't have to. However, if we have very little chance of getting pregnant on our own, is it worth it to try the fun way?

Naturally, I want to be pregnant again and get a take-home baby asap.

ohiostategal · September 2011

I fell into the category of getting pg quickly after my first loss. I got pg again quickly after my second loss as well. However our issue was me (PCOS) and the first pg seemed to reset my body. Unfortunately I don't think being pg would have any effect on low count or morph, but that doesn't mean you couldn't try on your own or go back to IUI first. I am so sorry for your loss sweetie.

ashlyrose · September 2011

I had 2 losses and they were not close to each other, they both were medicated cycles but the issues were with me and not my DH. I also heard better chances after an HSG but that wasn't true for us either. Everyone is different and if time is on your side, you can try naturally until your ready for IVF. After over 3 years of trying, 2 drs and countless medicated cycles, we had a miracle pregnancy where it did happen naturally so it can happen.

Dee1028 · September 2011

After my first loss it took a while for us. This is because that first pregnancy was a spontaneous miracle. Once I got my RE referral and realized what was really going on with my body, we moved on to IVF, which took a while too.

I had a chemical pregnancy from IVF (at Christmas time) and then took some time to heal before moving on to the FET.

FET was done in August and now I am expecting twins in April.

IMO, I wouldn't waste my time trying to get pregnant spontaneously if you have an IF diagnosis. Yes, miracles happen and it has happened to other people but I just felt ready for a baby for so long that once I was emotionally ready, I didn't want to waste anymore time.

Do what is best for you and your H though. Good luck.

Stuckinthemiddle · September 2011

I managed to get pregnant after my second IUI (with just clomid), only to have a very early m/c a week later. After this loss, we jumped head-first into IVF partly because my insurance had good coverage at the time, and I was unsure how long I was going to have my job, and party because I needed to move forward to move on from my loss. I was an unexplained case at the time, and my doc gave me very good chances of conceiving with IVF.

It took a whole year and 4 IVF cycles later for us to get pregnant again. Since the start of the IVF stuff, I have been diagnosed with DOR. I always wonder if doing all the IVF stuff was the right decision, because we did get pregnant so quickly with the IUI (the first IUI was a bust actually, my body didn't ovulate when we thought it did, so really we got pregnant on the first REAL IUI). I do know that I wanted to move ahead a fast a possible, and I never considered TI again - we had been there and done that for 15 months prior to seeing the RE. Towards the end of our IVF cycles, I became more open to the use of DE and pursuing adoption. It was less and less important that I have the bio connection to the child, and more important that I become a mother. We had a home equity line of credit opened in the likely event that our 4th and final IVF didn't work with my eggs, and I was prepared to move on to DE the day of our beta just in case.

I have a friend who is dealing with MFI issues. She is currently doing a split cycle, where half her eggs are going to be put with DH's sperm, and half with donor sperm. They are out of pocket as well, and she figures that this gives them the best chances financially without completely giving up on her husbands sperm. I know it is a hard issue to wrap your head around - it took me months to consider doing DE - but if you want to move on like I did, it might be something to consider.

I've been thinking about you. ((hugs))

kkdavie15 · September 2011

We didn't have any MFI issues... the issues were mine alone and while I didn't have PCOS I was annovulatory. We had an early loss and our Dr told us we didn't have to wait so we tried naturally a cycle. If it didn't work we were moving onto injects. It turns out I was "more fertile" after my loss and ovulated on my own and we got pg. Like PP my loss seemed to help reset my body so it would know what to do on it's own (for once).

If your issues are MFI then I don't really see how your loss would help increase your fertility. I agree with PP as well that I personally wouldn't spend time hoping for a miracle but continue on the path you have already started down (I know you said you are OOP and I guess that only applies if you have the money to start now or if you want to wait a few months, try naturally and save some money)

Good luck to you and your DH. I know how devastating our early loss was and I just can't even began to understand what you both are going through. I think you are a stronger person than I could ever be. ((hugs))

love2b_mrst · September 2011

My situation definitely was not the same as yours, but after I had my lap in March, I got pregnant (while on lupron getting ready for IVF) and had a chemical pregnancy. My RE said it was very promising that I got pregnant on my own, and said we could try a few months on our own and see what happened before trying IVF again. We decided to go right back into another cycle. We did have insurance, so if we would have been OOP I think that may have changed our minds but we also did not have the money saved up to do a cycle.

I know that I felt like trying on our own was just a waste of time, and like pp said, I was just SO ready to have a baby. I think from reading your posts lately that you might have a hard time just waiting it out and trying naturally.

Sorry there are so many hard decisions...I hope you guys are able to figure out what works best for the two of you soon!

Sunflower0908 · September 2011

I got pregnant on my own, after an endometrial biopsy. There is some evidence that biopsies can help with implantation issues, and some RE's are even starting to add them to an IVF protocol.

That turned out to be a blighted ovum, but after actually getting pregnant, I was borderline obsessed with starting my FET as soon as possible. By this point, I had a new RE and I was really hopeful about the protocol I was following. But the fact that I knew I could get pregnant really gave me hope. Prior to that, I was giving up hope and starting to accept that it may never happen.
I think we did try naturally for 1 cycle, but in my mind, IVF was the only way we were going to get pregnant.

Try and follow your gut instinct, and def don't go into another medicated cycle until you are ready, but if it were me, I probably wouldn't spend too long trying naturally with an MFI diagnosis.
I hate that you're even having to think about this. ((HUGS)).

kthappy76 · September 2011

I have heard/seen this happen, but I think it is primarily when the IF is on the woman's side and her hormones are affected by the pregnancy, though there are certainly no hard and fast rules when it comes to this stuff. If you are Oing and DH has sperm, it's possible. We never got pg until we did IVF, and then we had an unexplained loss (early, but after HB).

We didn't try on our own after the loss, since even though we are unexplained, it really didn't seem like our chances of conceiving on our own are very good, and we had FE. We got pg again with our next cycle (an FET), which was about 5 mos after our previous transfer, four after our loss.

It certainly doesn't hurt anything to try on your own, though if time is of the essense, like it was for us, you probably want to look at using some sort of "help" sooner rather than later. I sincerely hope that you are blessed w/a BFP one way or the other as soon as possible.

JackieMac824 · September 2011

Hi - I am so very sorry for your loss - to have IF and then have a loss is just so much. I know I have been there. It took me a long time to be ready again to TTC after my loss - over a year - we tried on our own that whole time because never had success - we are MFI. So we did a FET with our frozen embyos from our first IVF cycle and we are blessed to be 20 weeks along.

petite chouette · September 2011

I know my story is not at all your own, but I wanted to share and also let you know I think about you and your sweet babies often.

The first time I got pregnant was over 1.5 yrs ago. We had been trying for over a year and it was the cycle after an HSG and my first cycle on Clomid. I m/c'd at 7 weeks. After an advised 1 cycle break, we immediately jumped back into Clomid for 3 or 4 more (failed) cycles, 3 IUIs and an IVF (with some breaks in between due to work travel). I got preg again from that IVF, but had another loss (ectopic). Again, we jumped back in after an advised 3 month wait (due to the methotrexate shot) to do the FET that brought us this pregnancy. We were not dealing with MFI.

Sometimes I wonder a) if we should have tried more IUIs before jumping into IVF, and b) if I should have had another HSG (did it help "clean" my tubes the first time?), but my RE strongly suspected endo in addition to an ovulation defect and autoimmune issues, so we kept pursuing treatment. It truly broke my heart each month that we had to take time off, and I felt much better when I knew I was being as proactive as I could be. You can't predict what might work for you; you can only do what's best for your own situation on your own time. If you feel ready to try again asap, I personally would go right back into treatments. I know other couples, though, who really needed a break from cycling, and took time for themselves for awhile.

Whatever path you choose, I will continue to keep you in my T&Ps. I admire your strength and I wish I still lived in Chicago so I could give you ((big, big hugs)).

RileyGrace · September 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss, I didn't realize. ((hugs))

I got pg on IUI#2 and had a m/c and then was able to immediately try again and got my sticky with IUI#3. I personally think it might have helped somehow, my lining was the best it had been since before Clomid for #3. I think it's possible that was partly due to the previous cycle. However, I didn't have to take any time off in between. I'm not sure how it would be after a 3 cycle break.

I do believe that getting pg once proves that it's possible. That's just my personal belief.

((((hugs))))

Praying for you.

dolphinsmakemesmile · September 2011

Oh honey. I am so so sorry you even have to think about this. We are unexplained and got pg on my first injectable iui (4th iui). I had a missed m/c at 10w. I was already released to my OB after having 3 great sonos. My RE was very confident we would get pregnant again and maybe even on our own (now that my body knew how to get pregnant). Fast forward to 6 months and 3 more iuis later, I didn't get pregnant until IVF. I just wanted to have a take-home baby already! In a way, TTC on our own put so much stress on us, but it really brought us close together esp. since I was so devastated after the loss. I definitely didn't want to have sex, but forced myself for the end goal. It helped me to get close to DH again. ((HUGS))

BathingInBitter · September 2011

I am so very sorry for your loss. ((hugs))

My very first loss was in 1999 at 12w. I was young and my Dr. just chalked it up to bad luck. I was even on the pill when I got pregnant.

Then I didn't get pregnant again until 2008 and these pregnancy's were from IUI with Menopur. I had 2 losses that year and found out about my balanced translocation and was told that I would never get pregnant with my own eggs and if I did, I would never carry to term. We did DE IVF in August of 2010 and put back 3 embryos. That cycle failed and in December 2010 I got a surprise BFP and a miracle baby that we were told would never happen.

I'm not sure about MFI, as all our issues were because of me, but I believe in miracles and anything can happen.

Thinking of you and your DH and wishing you smooth sailing from here on out. ((hugs))

sterpstra10 · September 2011

We had our m/c on a natural cycle, then did one cycle unmedicated, then our clomid challenge cycle, and then got pg on IUI #1. It's a personal decision, but for us - we didn't want to give it another 6 months to see and wait and then start with all the baselines again. If we got pg on the 2 cycles without IUI, great, if not - we wanted to move forward. Our loss was also very early, so I'm sure that factors in too. T&Ps always!

mdluv21 · September 2011

We have issues on both sides...I noticed in the beginning my periods were the normal 26-28 days which I had never had before due to PCOS but now they are getting longer and longer apart.

I've never expected any miracles though because we too have MFI and my being pregnant won't have helped that, though he is taking clomid again and that does help some. I guess it could happen but I am just planning on needing a FET. If you are feeling physically and emotionally ready after 3 months I would just move back to IVF if I were you.

illinigal · September 2011

Thanks ladies. You've given me a lot to think about. We already have enough saved to do one round of IVF so needing time to save isn't an issue. I've talked to my OB, but will ask my RE what he thinks about trying on our own a couple months before jumping into IVF again.

MrsRumpf · September 2011

I was completely OOP too. We went through three IUI's the last was a BPF--but ectopic. Then did IVF-- another ectopic. So the only thing that helped us (in my opinion) was having a laparoscopy and having my tubes disconnected and some endo removed.

By our next FET (with two frozens) we had a sticky BFP finally! I have to say I'm not sure, for me, it woud've worked without the lap. So for me it has less to do with following a loss (I had two) and more that I removed the tubes out of the equation. So obviously now I can never get preggo without IVF or FET. But we obviously decided, we were okay with that.

I say it's completely a personal choice of when to move on. DH and I had decided that if the FET hadn't worked we were going to throw money into the 'plan' where you get 3 IVF cycles for one price and money back if it doesn't work.

jillmatheny · September 2011

My first IVF led to my second loss at 10 weeks. We are MFI and hypothyroidism. I wanted to try right away again so after AF came, I was able to start BCP for IVF #2 and go right into it. It was about 3 months between my D & C and my transfer for #2. The second IVF worked, and things are going well so far.

I really, really hope that your next try is successful, no matter how you end up doing it. I've thought about you a lot lately and hope you are healing.

MaybeMore · September 2011

There's no truth it it.

I did not get pregnant easily until I started on stimmed cycles. Now, I'm having peri-implantation losses.

Try on your own for the 3 cycles, then IVF.

ChicagoWeded2007 · September 2011

Our situation is kind of different. We tried naturally and got pregnant right away, then we couldn't get pregnant. We waited 15 months after that to go to an RE because the first pregnancy gave us hope we could get pregnant on our own. Our diagnosis was MFI low count, so one theory was that it would just take us longer to get pregnant. idk. Good luck with your decision.

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