FFCF? I got one..

June4bride2be · September 2011

We don't do this often, but may I have a flame free confession?

I don't get the rush to "potty train" at 2. My mom swears I was, but I don't buy it. Batty's post about it had me thinking, and this is not a flame towards her at all. My mom bringing it up this weekend, and the latest post make me want to vent.

But, if you have to lock yourself in your house for days to get your child to use the potty every hour or so....it sounds terrible! Like toddler potty boot camp! If LO wakes up wet from nap and night time, are they really ready?

I have underwear for R, and he sits on the potty before tubby. We are very verbal about it, and discuss what is happening and when/where it should be. BUT....he is not ready to be using the potty 100%. I am not planning on using pull ups as I feel like they are just over priced diapers. When he is ready to wear underpants and starts having more dry diapers, I will let him and encourage the potty. However he will still be diapered at nap and night until he stops waking up wet.

Who is being trained, LO or the parent? BTW...I hate the term trained. I get it if LO is close to 3 and needs to be diaper free for preschool, but there is a HUGE difference between 2 and 3. I took the paci because I feared mouth/tooth issues. I switched to a bed because he wasn't sleeping well and was cramped....but switching to underwear before he is really ready? What's the point?

Kudos to those who did it, and good luck to those who are jumping into it!

Your turn for a FFC!

jnk062602 · September 2011

See, I feel the same way about the bed. I don't get the rush out of the crib, especially bc I feel a lot of poor sleep is just a stage anyway. Now that we turned the crib, unless she climbs out again, we will keep her in it until at least baby #2 needs the crib. And even then, we haven't decided if we will buy a second crib or not since even though this crib is part of her furniture set, there are things we don't like about the dressers anyway.

For me - dd fights diaper changes and has since she was about 15 months. I can't wait until I can stop those battles. - or at least minimize them to naps and bedtime. Also, I don't want to potty train while baby #2 is young. I know for me, I had some hard times after dd was born and working and can only picture it more stressful with a toddler in the mix too. So if we are not successful by Jan, then we will just wait until she self potty trains or is 3 yrs old. I don't plan on doing the sleep potty training, so the waking up wet doesn't bother me. And actually, who knows if she wakes up wet, bc we let her wake and play a while in her crib before getting her anyway.

MrsWhiteonWhiteSt · September 2011

We were "that" situation; starting pre-K and HAD to be trained. Justin was 2yrs 8mths when we did 3 day PT. Looking back on it, he probably could have trained sooner but I wasn't ready to commit all the effort with 2 newborns. You're100% right, it is more training the parents. I seriously didn't mind changing diapers all that much and J was in no rush for undies. Sometimes I think it's MORE of a pain now. Public bathrooms <shudder>, I can't just leave him in bed to lounge because he has to pee right away and asking him 10x if he has to pee if we're out doing something fun/really distracting. I thought leaky diapers were bad- well, Justin peed the bed for the 1st time the other day. I never thought to get a mattress cover because he went 2 mths with no nap or bedtime accidents at all. Holy Moses. This kid must have a Lake Erie sized bladder,

MrsWhiteonWhiteSt · September 2011

Oh and my confession...

I can NOT wait to be done pumping. I promised myself 6 months (which is 9/24) and this week I switched to only pumping morning and bedtime. I wish bf'ing would have worked out with the twins. I felt like it was such quiet, special time with J as opposed to trying to pump as fast as I can before someone cries. I know it's good for the kids but I've seen it as such a chore. I can't count how many times I'll sit down to pump and someone wakes up from their nap crying or J decides he needs help getting on the potty. I want that time back to myself. I'm so over it. 15 days. 15 days.

Now that I'm rambling it makes me realize; looking back on it- I felt like I was such a gentle, nurturer with Justin and more of a robot with the twins. Everything is an assembly line to keep everyone happy. I guess I'm a double confession, haha. I can not get past the guilt of splitting my attention between twins. It drives me to tears almost once a week.

JenJar · September 2011

If I had waited for G to consistently wake up dry, we still wouldn't be potty trained.

MrsWhiteonWhiteSt:
We were "that" situation; starting pre-K and HAD to be trained. Justin was 2yrs 8mths when we did 3 day PT. Looking back on it, he probably could have trained sooner but I wasn't ready to commit all the effort with 2 newborns. You're100% right, it is more training the parents. I seriously didn't mind changing diapers all that much and J was in no rush for undies. Sometimes I think it's MORE of a pain now. Public bathrooms <shudder>, I can't just leave him in bed to lounge because he has to pee right away and asking him 10x if he has to pee if we're out doing something fun/really distracting. I thought leaky diapers were bad- well, Justin peed the bed for the 1st time the other day. I never thought to get a mattress cover because he went 2 mths with no nap or bedtime accidents at all. Holy Moses. This kid must have a Lake Erie sized bladder,

Oh what a mess! I so sorry.

JenJar · September 2011

My FFFC - I totally blamed the dog last night when DH came into the bedroom after I had passed gas. I can't wait until this gets better...

NikCole · September 2011

I don't get the potty training thing either. Evan is not ready to potty train, and I won't be pushing the issue. Sure, he loves to sit on the potty (he's gone maybe 3 times) but he doesn't really get it, yet. I don't mind the 3-day potty training thing, if the LO is ready. I still have to read more into it, but I think we may go that route when the time comes.

What I think is even worse are the parents who potty train too early, and the kid really isn't even potty trained (still wears pull-ups all the time or accidents everyday) A friend of the family has a little girl who is a month younger than Evan... and she's potty "trained". That is all I hear about when I see them. We were at a birthday party w/ them this summer and the little girl had a pull-up on... the mom said that she wears pull-ups when they are out and about because it's too much of a pain to take her to the bathroom 10x's a day. That is just wrong and confusing to the LO. And lazy of the parent too!

Now my (lame) confession- I taught Evan how to scratch my back and brush my hair. Yesterday morning we sat on the couch and he brushed my hair for a good 15 minutes... it was heavenly! Last night when he was getting ready for bed he was taking turns scratching our backs... DH said I've turned him into my little slave! He loves it though... and if he sees my brush laying around he grabs it and comes running out asking to brush my hair... it's so cute

Irisheyes1247 · September 2011

Oh I have one. I don't get what the big deal is with getting to be the first person to tell everyone that you are pregnant. I don't really enjoy standing in front of a group of our family and saying "hey guess what?" because I don't like the attention. So I let my mom tell. It makes her happy. For a month straight on the March '12 board it was all, "My mother ruined my news blah blah" and it drives me batty. She didn't really ruin it, you are still having a baby for heavens sake. Also, there were several posts like "I called my mom and she didn't once ask how my appt went, although maybe she didn't know I had one, but all she wanted to talk about was her work." Dude. You are pregnant, you are not the center of the universe. I promise you that by the end of this, you will be begging anyone to talk to you about anything BUT pregnancy and babies.

meryltheresa · September 2011

I guess i don't get it either, but Liam is no where near ready. He still wakes up completely soaked in the morning. Naps are getting better, but he's just not ready. He shows some interest in sitting on the potty, but I think she just thinks it's fun because he sees me do it. I also agree about the crib thing. Liam loves his crib so i'm not going to evict him quite yet.

FFFC: I could have gone for my GD test during my lunch the other day, but I told my boss they could only get me in at the end of the day. So I left work at 4, did the blood draw and was at the sitters by 4:30 to get L. I don't usually get there until 5:30. It was great!

ArcticFox · September 2011

I do agree with you. However, you can't train them not to go to the bathroom when they are sleeping, for quite a while. Most kids sleep in pullups for a long time, unless you can be super diligent about making sure they don't have anything to drink after a certain time cutoff.

And potty training is about consistency - and so I think that has to be the parent's responsibility no matter what age. When I was pregnant with baby #2, I had no patience for potty training.. but the thought of my 3 year old pooping her diaper at the amusement park was too much. So while I was in the hospital for 3 days, my husband did the potty training and we were done. It wasn't about locking ourselves in the house, he was just home a lot and if they went out, she wore a pullup.

Not arguing with you on this, just letting you know my experience.

I had a FFC I was thinking of the other day and I forgot.. so I'll be back if I can remember it!

mrsoc · September 2011

I stopped BF'ing. I came down with PPD pretty quickly at about 8 weeks. I had it pretty bad last time and decided to get help sooner. The medications may pose risks and the one that really worked for me last time, you cannot take breastfeeding. I started on one that did not work well and switched to the other one and went to counseling. I am feeling MUCH better now. Little did we know what a good decision this would be. A had been crying/screaming from 12-8 everyday. We thought it was a growth spurt or newborn fussiness, so most days I was nursing him almost constantly during this time. Once we switched him to formula, within 2 bottles he was a completely different baby...happy, smiling, likes the car and stroller (which he would scream the whole time before) slept 8+hours a night from that point forward.

So it was a great decision for all of us. Andrew felt much better. I was back to feeling normal (with the medication and couseling). Evan's jealousy disappeared (most likely because A was not screaming all the time). DH could help out more. We have been able to go more places. And when I do go back to work, my work day will not be lengthened by an hour because I have to pump so I can get home to my boys that much sooner. E did great on formula (only sick twice in 2 years) and I am sure the same will be for A.

Two*True · September 2011

No flames from me. I know I recently posted about training but I'm not doing anything hardcore or locking ourselves in the house. DD was the one that walked over to the toilet and said poop. When I sat her on there she went. I just figured since she is interested we'll go with it. And all that means in our house is that when we are home she wears cloth training pants, when she naps it's diapers and when we leave the house it's diapers. The cloth training pants just allow her to go to her potty and pull them up and down herself. I'm not taking it any further than that because neither of us need to stress about dealing with this at 17m.

My FFFC - Sometimes I think things are much easier without K here.

jnk062602 · September 2011

mrsoc:

I stopped BF'ing. I came down with PPD pretty quickly at about 8 weeks. I had it pretty bad last time and decided to get help sooner. The medications may pose risks and the one that really worked for me last time, you cannot take breastfeeding. I started on one that did not work well and switched to the other one and went to counseling. I am feeling MUCH better now. Little did we know what a good decision this would be. A had been crying/screaming from 12-8 everyday. We thought it was a growth spurt or newborn fussiness, so most days I was nursing him almost constantly during this time. Once we switched him to formula, within 2 bottles he was a completely different baby...happy, smiling, likes the car and stroller (which he would scream the whole time before) slept 8+hours a night from that point forward.

So it was a great decision for all of us. Andrew felt much better. I was back to feeling normal (with the medication and couseling). Evan's jealousy disappeared (most likely because A was not screaming all the time). DH could help out more. We have been able to go more places. And when I do go back to work, my work day will not be lengthened by an hour because I have to pump so I can get home to my boys that much sooner. E did great on formula (only sick twice in 2 years) and I am sure the same will be for A.

I'm glad you are all in a good place right now. I look back and know that so many of my struggles that first year would have been different if I had not bf'ed. I am sure that the continuation of bfing played a part in the hormones that made me have so many vaginal/sex issues and ending up needing a hormone cream just to get to an ok place. I also believe that all my nightmares that were happening multiple times a night were caused from the hormones too, since it was only once she dropped sessions around 9-10 months that they decreased. Not to mention the lanolin allergy and the 3 bouts of mastitis.

That brings me to my confession, and even I flame myself for it. I like being pregnant - feeling the kicks. But honestly, I dread the newborn stage. And just thinking about it with a toddler, ugh! And I know once the baby hits somewhere between 6-9 months, things will be better. Even now, I think to myself that every new age dd is, is better than before. More and more fun. So I know it will be ok eventually. But I have already chalked January-mid summer up as a complete nightmare and just a goal to get thru as opposed to something to be enjoyed.

wendyj · September 2011

ITA June. Back when we first tried with him at Christmas, I felt so much pressure (maybe it's a Bump peer-pressure thing) to have him PT'd by the time he turned 3. We did it one day and it was a disaster. He had no clue what he was doing yet, so to save our sanity, we backed off. At that point, and even the weeks leading up to when he actually did start going on his own, I was sure we were going to just have to get him PT'd in time to go to Kindergarten!

My confession: I had to wait in line for 3 hours at a wake last night for a friend's father. I actually didn't mind, other than feeling a bit dehydrated by the time I left. I didn't have to worry about making dinner, dealing with tantrums, or anything. I was completely mindless just standing there, and I loved every second of it.

dle927 · September 2011

jnk062602:

I like being pregnant - feeling the kicks. But honestly, I dread the newborn stage. And just thinking about it with a toddler, ugh! And I know once the baby hits somewhere between 6-9 months, things will be better. Even now, I think to myself that every new age dd is, is better than before. More and more fun. So I know it will be ok eventually. But I have already chalked January-mid summer up as a complete nightmare and just a goal to get thru as opposed to something to be enjoyed.

I felt exactly like this. I don't love the newborn stage. I hated the sleeplessness that made me feel like a zombie and having horomones surging didn't help. Let me tell you though that it's already much better - even by 2 months old. Although I think going from 1 to 2 is much more difficult than 0-1 child, it's not that bad. For me the guilt of divided time was the worst part...oh, and the movie addiction that Claire developed from Evan's newborn stage.

MRSOC: So glad you're feeling better!

olivia_eve · September 2011

jnk062602:
That brings me to my confession, and even I flame myself for it. I like being pregnant - feeling the kicks. But honestly, I dread the newborn stage. And just thinking about it with a toddler, ugh! And I know once the baby hits somewhere between 6-9 months, things will be better. Even now, I think to myself that every new age dd is, is better than before. More and more fun. So I know it will be ok eventually. But I have already chalked January-mid summer up as a complete nightmare and just a goal to get thru as opposed to something to be enjoyed.

I totally understand this. I do not like the newborn stage, as I sit here with a newborn! I think it's because they're so much work, but you don't get many rewards- no smiles, laughs, stuff like that. Although if it makes you feel better, things are so, so much easier this time around. Breastfeeding is way easier, and I'm more confident in what I'm doing. But I still am looking forward to a few months from now when Thomas is a little older.

TinyPinkBug · September 2011

My FFCF, I've got lots but I will stick to one. I hate when people see or hear about a child's behavior and automatically assume it is from bad parenting because their child doesn't do the same thing. Like people have no tollerance for the fact that babies and kids are individuals and not perfect molds of what their parents create them to be. If this were true, wouldn't siblings be almost identical? I can tell you my two are vastly different. And I think this even falls into the whole potty training thing, because one child is ready for potty training at a certain age doesn't mean all kids or even most are or should be. Tyler was no where near ready to PT until at least 2 1/2 but Brianna has been ready since about 20 months (I have been fighting it because it is a PITA but have to stop this). And the difference has absolutely nothing to do with my parenting, it is just who they are. Now, I will confess that I have and do blame parents on the playground when they aren't watching their kid and there is obvious behavior that could/should be corrected. I am sure there are ppl who would correct some of Tyler's behavior that I do not correct because I need to pick and choose my battles to keep life reasonable, but kids who hit/push/shove/wrestle other kids or run over top of little kids should ALWAYS be corrected. It just teaches respect.

MarcyIam · September 2011

jnk062602:

that brings me to my confession, and even I flame myself for it. I like being pregnant - feeling the kicks. But honestly, I dread the newborn stage. And just thinking about it with a toddler, ugh! And I know once the baby hits somewhere between 6-9 months, things will be better. Even now, I think to myself that every new age dd is, is better than before. More and more fun. So I know it will be ok eventually. But I have already chalked January-mid summer up as a complete nightmare and just a goal to get thru as opposed to something to be enjoyed.

You're not alone here! I was just telling people the other day that if I ever do get pregnant again I'd like the baby to be born already 6 months old. Or, if not being too greedy, I'll take 8. ;-)

abba916 · September 2011

I'm in the minority...I like the newborn stage- yeah the sleeplessness is tough but compared to the toddler stage- I will take a newborn anyday...if I could skip 15m- 30m...I'd do that...

My FFC: I dont get the rush to drop the paci- I know it can be a mouth issue but sometimes I think some kids would need braces anyway- even if you didnt take the paci- Lorenzo love his paci and if it comforts him- so be it- if he needs braces - its a price I'll pay...I didnt have a paci and I needed braces and had them and my teeth still arent perfect...he can take a paci to college for all I care...

MelissaSue81 · September 2011

jnk - I also dreaded the NB stage, but like others have said, it seems much easier this time around.. and honestly, I wouldn't mind having a newborn again right now, if I could guarantee he/she would be just like Natalie.. HA! I honestly am struggling MUCH more right now with 2.5 years than I am with 2.5 months.

My confession- I'm just really overwhelmed with everything right now.. Even though nothing is really "that bad". I have no patience with Eve.. and I tell myself every morning I'm going to be better.. and I rarely am. I would rather DH didn't touch me.. ever.. I just feel like our marriage is not in a good place right now, but I don't have the energy to work on it. There is just a lot of things in general in life that need to be dealt with and I don't want to do any of it.

missyjg · September 2011

**Warning: Downer post**

Here's my FFFC, it's bad. Please don't flame:( I'm pregnant, really REALLY early. I'm not telling DH for a couple of weeks, I'm not telling anyone for a couple of weeks (except you). I'm not even excited, I'm scared and sad! I've had 3 more m/c ( c/p, 5 weeks, 5 weeks) since having B. It's a source of a lot of our problems and DH wants to go for a vasectomy. He basically told me after the last m/c in May, that one more miscarriage he's making an appointment, It's hard. He's broken down and told me that he isn't strong enough to deal with this any more. It's been almost 10 years of fighting this infertility. I don't want to give up, I want another baby and I know that I will regret it if I give up. But m/c 1 or m/c 13, doesn't matter it hurts just the same. It SUCKS! I understand his pain and I respect his decision. I'm not hopeful that this pregnancy will stick, I can't let myself get hopeful. Stupid cancer, stupid rotten eggs. So a few good thoughts would be helpful if you could spare them. And for my confession, I will be telling DH, just not for a few weeks, because there is always hope... Thank heavens for B. She is my sanity, really she is.

NikCole · September 2011

missyjg:
**Warning: Downer post**

Here's my FFFC, it's bad. Please don't flame:( I'm pregnant, really REALLY early. I'm not telling DH for a couple of weeks, I'm not telling anyone for a couple of weeks (except you). I'm not even excited, I'm scared and sad! I've had 3 more m/c ( c/p, 5 weeks, 5 weeks) since having B. It's a source of a lot of our problems and DH wants to go for a vasectomy. He basically told me after the last m/c in May, that one more miscarriage he's making an appointment, It's hard. He's broken down and told me that he isn't strong enough to deal with this any more. It's been almost 10 years of fighting this infertility. I don't want to give up, I want another baby and I know that I will regret it if I give up. But m/c 1 or m/c 13, doesn't matter it hurts just the same. It SUCKS! I understand his pain and I respect his decision. I'm not hopeful that this pregnancy will stick, I can't let myself get hopeful. Stupid cancer, stupid rotten eggs. So a few good thoughts would be helpful if you could spare them. And for my confession, I will be telling DH, just not for a few weeks, because there is always hope... Thank heavens for B. She is my sanity, really she is.

hugs and prayers to you! I hope this turns out to be a good pregnancy for you. And that you and your H can work through things, no matter what the outcome.

Telyco · September 2011

NikCole:
missyjg:

**Warning: Downer post**

Here's my FFFC, it's bad. Please don't flame:( I'm pregnant, really REALLY early. I'm not telling DH for a couple of weeks, I'm not telling anyone for a couple of weeks (except you). I'm not even excited, I'm scared and sad! I've had 3 more m/c ( c/p, 5 weeks, 5 weeks) since having B. It's a source of a lot of our problems and DH wants to go for a vasectomy. He basically told me after the last m/c in May, that one more miscarriage he's making an appointment, It's hard. He's broken down and told me that he isn't strong enough to deal with this any more. It's been almost 10 years of fighting this infertility. I don't want to give up, I want another baby and I know that I will regret it if I give up. But m/c 1 or m/c 13, doesn't matter it hurts just the same. It SUCKS! I understand his pain and I respect his decision. I'm not hopeful that this pregnancy will stick, I can't let myself get hopeful. Stupid cancer, stupid rotten eggs. So a few good thoughts would be helpful if you could spare them. And for my confession, I will be telling DH, just not for a few weeks, because there is always hope... Thank heavens for B. She is my sanity, really she is.

hugs and prayers to you! I hope this turns out to be a good pregnancy for you. And that you and your H can work through things, no matter what the outcome.

H&P to you...I'm so sorry you have to go through that. As a mommy, it's so difficult to hear how hard you have to fight to build your family. But keep fighting girl - you'll get there!!

And fwiw - I would be doing the same thing.

Ashnmike528 · September 2011

missyjg:
**Warning: Downer post**

Here's my FFFC, it's bad. Please don't flame:( I'm pregnant, really REALLY early. I'm not telling DH for a couple of weeks, I'm not telling anyone for a couple of weeks (except you). I'm not even excited, I'm scared and sad! I've had 3 more m/c ( c/p, 5 weeks, 5 weeks) since having B. It's a source of a lot of our problems and DH wants to go for a vasectomy. He basically told me after the last m/c in May, that one more miscarriage he's making an appointment, It's hard. He's broken down and told me that he isn't strong enough to deal with this any more. It's been almost 10 years of fighting this infertility. I don't want to give up, I want another baby and I know that I will regret it if I give up. But m/c 1 or m/c 13, doesn't matter it hurts just the same. It SUCKS! I understand his pain and I respect his decision. I'm not hopeful that this pregnancy will stick, I can't let myself get hopeful. Stupid cancer, stupid rotten eggs. So a few good thoughts would be helpful if you could spare them. And for my confession, I will be telling DH, just not for a few weeks, because there is always hope... Thank heavens for B. She is my sanity, really she is.

No flames whatsoever! Just tons of hugs, and T&P's for you and your little bean!

abba916 · September 2011

missyjg:
**Warning: Downer post**
Here's my FFFC, it's bad. Please don't flame:( I'm pregnant, really REALLY early. I'm not telling DH for a couple of weeks, I'm not telling anyone for a couple of weeks (except you). I'm not even excited, I'm scared and sad! I've had 3 more m/c ( c/p, 5 weeks, 5 weeks) since having B. It's a source of a lot of our problems and DH wants to go for a vasectomy. He basically told me after the last m/c in May, that one more miscarriage he's making an appointment, It's hard. He's broken down and told me that he isn't strong enough to deal with this any more. It's been almost 10 years of fighting this infertility. I don't want to give up, I want another baby and I know that I will regret it if I give up. But m/c 1 or m/c 13, doesn't matter it hurts just the same. It SUCKS! I understand his pain and I respect his decision. I'm not hopeful that this pregnancy will stick, I can't let myself get hopeful. Stupid cancer, stupid rotten eggs. So a few good thoughts would be helpful if you could spare them. And for my confession, I will be telling DH, just not for a few weeks, because there is always hope... Thank heavens for B. She is my sanity, really she is.

no flames from me- just T&P for a sticky baby...

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