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May 2011 Moms
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Family and the holidays

amywoods824amywoods824 member
in May 2011 Moms

Is there any nice way to ask family that's planning on visiting for the holidays to stay at a hotel?

Backstory:  DH and I relocated just before DD was born and we're temporarily living in a much smaller home.  We've moved from a 4 bed/2.5 bath to a 2 bed/2 bath.  It's fine for now, but obviously we don't have nearly the space we used. DH is Jewish and MIL is planning on coming up for Rosh Hashanah at the end of the month.  She's going to be relocating in the near future so I totally understand her wanting to visit as much as possible before the move.  We have a pull-out in the nursery and can just move DD into the pack-n-play in our room while she's visiting. 

I was talking to SIL yesterday and she told me she had just bought her plane ticket to visit for the holiday too.  If we were still living in our old home this wouldn't be a big deal because we had more space, but both MIL and SIL stayed with us when DD was born and our house was beyond overcrowded. This time they'd be staying for probably 4-5 days.

DH and I are both back at work now and usually have to be up by 6am.  DD is almost STTN, but there are times when she wakes up in the middle of the night.  If we have both MIL and SIL at the house and DD gets fussy, there's no where I can take her that someone wouldn't get woken up.  I love them both and want them to visit, I just don't think it's going to be a good situation having that many people in the house again.  I know MIL and SIL feel entitled to stay with us (they've said things before along the lines of "well where else would we stay"), but is there a nice way to go about hinting/asking that they stay in a hotel?

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Re: Family and the holidays

  • Athena0809Athena0809 member
    How about you let DH tell them since that's his mother and sister. He can be direct yet not harsh about it. Letting her know that it would be really inconvenient for them, and much more comfortable if they stay at a hotel near by.
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  • kacellekacelle member
    Have your H say something along the lines of, "We're so excited that you're coming for a visit, but we're really pressed for space in our new place.  We can help you find a nice local hotel to stay in if you'd like!"  It's his family, so he should be the one to bring it up with them unless you're super close to your MIL and SIL.
    Married to my best friend 6/5/10
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  • kristenndkristennd member

    The important thing is to get it over with so they have plenty of time to find a suitable place. Pre-scouting something convenient to your house is considerate, even when they are capable of using Google Maps. And if you're worried about their reactions, then definitely assign it to DH. But if he balks, it's better for you to get it over with than ending up springing it on them at the last minute. Less stress for you in the long run too.

    Your current scenario doesn't work for anyone. You're not being mean. It's a reasonable request.

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  • croberts22croberts22

    Is your concern overcrowding or the fact that the baby would wake someone up? 

    If its overcrowding, pp have covered what I'd do. Get your H to talk to them and explain it would be very helpful to have them stay at a hotel.  I would give them some low cost, nice places in a conveinent location as ideas. 

    If its the baby waking someone up, I would just nicely explain that in your current situation, someone will probably be woken up if the baby starts crying at night.  They just have to understand that staying at your house now includes that risk.  If they don't like it, maybe they will take the hint and get a hotel themselves. 

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  • cesehorncesehorn

    There is also the possibility of you going to a hotel with the LO while everyone is town.  If everyone insists on staying with you despite it all, then maybe say you'll be staying at a convenient low cost hotel nearby because you want some space.

     

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