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Pre-School and Daycare
CD+AL
member
Volunteered for Room Mom at school & short notice...Help!
CD+AL
member
I signed up to be the "Room Mom" for DS' classroom when we were at the school for his registration. I just, as in this afternoon, got the information. When I signed up (on Aug 2nd!), I was told that basically it was just to help with any classroom parties (holidays mostly) and other special events that the teacher might need help with on an as needed basis.
Ok, cool, I can handle that, but in my packet, it also says that I am "responsible" for coordinating the celebration of the teacher's birthday by choosing a gift (and collecting money from all the parents in both the am and pm classes) and, in addition to the gift, can decorate the classroom as well.
So, a couple of problems with that:
- I JUST got the packet and the teacher's bday is the 13th (freaking TUESDAY!), so I have little to no time to get anything planned. (Although the packet does suggest a gift card...grr!)
- Tomorrow is the last day of school for both am and pm classes for this week, so coordinating or even warning parents of the $ issue is going to be impossible.
- I'm not really comfortable soliciting funds from the other parents that I don't even know yet, especially the parents of the other session, but now is a really NOT good time for me to cough up my own personal funds w/o help.
- DS' class doesn't even meet on Tuesday, so do I do it on Mon or Wed? Monday means even less time to pull it together, and Wed might look like I forgot. The other session does meet that day, but I think the thought is to try to include the kids if possible.
Truthfully, I think the two biggest issues are the short notice and the fact that the whole thing really rubs me the wrong way. The short notice totally could have been avoided. I mean it's been over a month since I signed up and almost 4 weeks since school started.
Then there is the fact that while this packet didn't come from the teacher (from someone on the PTO) I just don't like being told that the other parents and I HAVE cough up more money for a gift. If it was presented as an option instead of an expectation, I'd be more ok with it; although, I'd still feel really weird soliciting the funds from the other parents at this point. (FWIW, the teacher is great, and I don't mind celebrating her bday. I just don't like this, "You WILL spend your $ this way." thing.)
So how on Earth do I pull this all together in this time frame? Any ideas? Advice??? This kind of turned into a vent instead of just a question, but I really don't know what to do at this point other than cough up the money I shouldn't be spending right now and HOPE that I get some of it back from the other parents???
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Volunteered for Room Mom at school & short notice...Help!
This just seems weird to me. I'm new to the whole preschool thing, but why are they celebrating the teacher's birthday in the first place? The kids I understand, but the teachers? And to make you and the other parents kick in for it?
The whole thing seems off, and I'd contact the office and voice your concerns.
That whole situation would seriously grate on my nerves. When is it the Room Mom's job to get a teacher a gift put together? I would just bring a cake on Tuesday. That is just being unrealistic (not to mention Emily Post must roll in her grave somewhere).
As per the job in general I would call whoever on this PTO thing and tell them your feelings. That if this is the expectation you don't feel comfortable and perhaps they need another tree to bark up.
So, now that I've vented (thank you! thank you!) and cooled off a bit, I'm still very irritated, and it still rubs me the wrong way. However, I think maybe the intentions are good, but that the delivery was terrible and probably worded the wrong way in the packet. I'm guessing that the person that coordinated the packets just wanted to make sure that the teachers were recognized for their efforts so that they feel appreciated, but she didn't do a great job of communicating her intentions.
The school is a private school connected to a church that runs up through 8th grade, so the PTO actually consists of parents that have kids all the way up too. It probably does sound very odd to someone that has kids in a stand-alone preschool that there is a PTO at all, let alone one that is involved to that degree.
Francisca, I like your suggestion of taking a cake or something of that nature on Tuesday. I could handle that...It's been very fall like the past few days, and I've been itching to whip up some pumpkin bread or something. Maybe even find a few streamers and a banner in my craft box to "decorate" the room. Then, b/c they will celebrate Christmas b/c it is a religious program, if it's something that we want to pursue at that point, the other parents and I can contribute to a Christmas gift.
Does that sound reasonable? I guess they're stuck with me either way b/c I'm the ONLY one from both the a.m. and p.m. sessions that volunteered for the job (most grades have 2-3 Room Moms/classroom), so I suppose they'll have to live with whatever I do. Any other comments/suggestions are still welcome. I'm just up right now b/c I got so worked up that I can't sleep. LOL!
I was room mom last year and I can tell you that everything you posted is totally normal.
At our school, the room moms get with the other parents to decide if they want to give group gifts to the teachers for their birthday, Christmas, teacher appreciation and year end gifts. Last year we all gave $30 per child to pay for these things as well as supplies for the class parties (there were 4). The room moms also coordinate the class project for the auction in May.
We also coordinated gatherings so the parents could get to know each other outside of school. So we had two lunch picnics after school at a local play ground and one adults only gathering at a coffee shop.
The thing that stinks for you is the short window. You could buy enough carnations for each child and an inexpensive vase. Give each child a carnation on their way in to the classroom to give to the teacher. Voila - birthday!
ETA: Make sure your preschool policy allows for treats like cake. If any kids have food allergies they would be excluded from the celebration.
My twins are 5! My baby is 3!
DS#2 - Allergic to Cashew, Pistachio, Kiwi
DS#3 - Allergic to Milk, Egg, Peanut, Tree Nuts and Sesame
I am DD's room mom as well. We are expected to organize the teacher's Bday. Our school is similar to yours - private, religious school through 5th grade. I would buy a modest gift card, make some mini cupcakes and decorate with what you have on hand. I think you also have to do it on Tuesday even though you aren't in school that day. You can send a note to the other parents about the short notice and unfortunate timing of the teacher's birthday and ask them to reimburse you for your expense. As a parent I fully expect to have to contribute to these sorts of things and as long as I wasn't on the hook for a crazy expensive gift I had no input on then I would have no problem sending in a couple of bucks to cover the gift card and cake.
I would email all the parents today and explain the situation, let them know what you are planning and ask them to send the money over the next week.
Good Luck! I know it's a huge job
Ive been a room parent before and it's super easy. Is this public school? Our kids go to private school and have room parents (never heard of it for public). Anyway, that first week you have to send out a letter asking the parents for a $5-10 contribution to the "Classroom Fund". This fund will be for the holiday parties and, at the end of the year, the teacher's gifts.
For the birthday on the 13th, I would just do something cheapy with the kids involved. Then, once you get the funds from the parents, take out what you spent to pay yourself back. I don't see the big deal. You did sign up for it, so you must've known it would involve all these things.
I would send a mass email to all the parents asking for the funds. Then keep a list of people you've gotten $$ from. That way, the ones that haven't, you can send them a direct email asking for it by a certain day. For them not to contribute would be a little tacky and cheap of them. AND you'll know who they are too! Also, don't say "donation", say "contribute".
Remember, it doesn't have to be something lavish, so don't over do it. : )
No, actually I didn't have any idea. When I signed up I was told it would be just a few holiday parties and maybe a couple of other events that the teacher might need help with, but I had no idea that it would include soliciting funds from people, especially on short notice. This is my first child to go to school, so it's new to me. I only had the info I was given at registration to go on, which really is the problem. They just sent the information home with DS yesterday afternoon. I don't even have a contact sheet for all the other parents yet. It's seriously disorganized on the PTO end. I mean this is the 4th week of school. I'd be a little less freaked out if I knew about this even 2wks ago. You know?
Thanks everyone! You all have some good suggestions.
I'm new to the "preschool game". I'm on the board for the PTF (Parent Teacher Fellowship). DS's school is also a faith based school and goes up to the 3rd grade. We as the PTF brought in something for the teachers as a "welcome back" gift.
I haven't heard of celebrating the teacher's birthdays---but that does sound very nice. I agree, Francisca's idea of a cake would "fit the bill".
this doesn't need to be a big deal, its a birthday for an adult. Its unfortunate that's it at the beginning of the year, but seriously, I doubt she expects much if anything since you all just started.
Get a simple cake or do the carnations like PP suggested or just get her a $20 GC to Starbucks and a card. Ask either the administration or the PTO contact how they recommend you contact the other parents (maybe the have an email list?) and then ask the other parents to contribute to the "Class Fund" and reimburse yourself out of the fund.
So, I'm much better now...Thank you ladies both for the ideas and for the opportunity to vent. It really just threw me last night when I found that packet in DS' backpack at midnight and discovered exactly what was "expected" of me on such short notice. I never had a problem celebrating her bday...In fact, it's a nice idea. It just completely threw me for a loop that they had all these expectations about parents coughing up $ w/no notice, especially when they could have given us the info several weeks ago and I still don't even have contact info for the other parents (and won't until sometime next week).
Now that I've had a chance to mull it over, I'm planning to bake something nice this weekend, which is kind of my thing anyway, and take it and a few balloons and streamers to the room Monday night after the teacher is gone for the day if I can find someone that can let me in or on Tuesday if I can't. I can handle that out of my own pocket, and then I'll just make sure that we (the collective "we" of all the parents) get something nice together for both Xmas and the end of the year for her.
I also made a point of arranging to meet with the teacher after school today to discuss what she needs and wants, and we're really excited about the year. She had no idea that I was willing and excited to do a lot of extras to help her plan the events.
Apparently, no one usually volunteers to help her at all let alone take on the bulk of scheduling and recruiting the volunteers for events. If she had help in the past, it was after much pleading, and I guess the volunteers kind of just showed up to observe their own kids. Plus, evidently the preschool classroom gets overlooked usually b/c the other parents are either busy helping out with their older kids' rooms, with younger sibs at home or, you know...working.
That's all what I really signed on to do, so she's happy. I'm happy. It's all good now, and now I love DS' teacher even more than I did before.
I do appreciate all the ideas too. That really did help.