October 2011 Moms

How do you know if your baby is cute?

I know this sounds really shallow but I've wondered for years (DD is 8). When I was pregnant with DD my bf got preg 3 months after I did. DD was born 10 days after the EDD and was 8lbs 9 oz. She had blue eyes (most babies do) and red curly hair. She was delivered c-section and was plump, her head wasn't squashed or coned or anything. I thought she was so beautiful. My bf's dd was born premature she came out 4lbs wasn't developed all the way and just kind of funny looking (to be expected, she didn't have enough time to bake) after her dd got out of Nicu and was home we'd go out together and people would come up and say "what a beautiful baby" to me then would look at her baby and say "what a beautiful baby" . I don't mean this to sound bad but her dd didn't look "normal" for about a year. So I KNEW people were lying to her...which made me think, are they lying to me too? Is my baby ugly? I mean I know that everyone thinks their baby is beautiful and to all moms they are but how do you REALLY know? I'm just as guilty to telling parents of ugly babies that they are beautiful (and I get the babies are miracles thing- I also believe this). I also wanted to say that my bf's DD is beautiful now, she is not behind in any way and thriving in school and sports. It doesn't really matter but I would like to know if LO is cute when he comes but I know I can't really trust people to tell me.

Re: How do you know if your baby is cute?

  • I actually had this conversation with some coworkers a few weeks ago and one told me that she would let me know if my baby was ugly Stick out tongue That being said, I'm not sure. I would hope I would not be biased but I'm sure I will be. As it is, I think that 95% of newborns look like aliens...esp in the pictures where they are all bundled up with a hat on and all you see is their heads & big beady eyes.


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  • Parents should always have the illusion that their kids are beautiful.  It doesn't matter if they are not model babies, as kids change so much so quickly.  Those  "unfortunate-looking" babies usually get better looking by 3 months of age and I've seen the cutest toddlers grow into "unfortunate-looking" adults. 

    I try not lie to people ( I think it's two-faced and I resent people who falsely say flattering things).  I usually say "precious" if the baby doesn't deserve the "gorgeous/beautiful" title.

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  • I always worried I would think my baby/child wasn't good looking and how would I tell them when they asked?! However the longer I've been pregnant and the circumstances we have (little one will have a cleft lip) I've come to realize at least for me, every parent and child should see eachother as beautiful, its part of the circle of life. I know our LO's lip will make people uncomfortable and she will get looks especially before its fixed. My LO won't be perfect and I don't care if the whole world thinks she looks funny, she is already beautiful to me and frankly I don't want anyone telling me otherwise lol.
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  • imageellewoodsSC:

    Parents should always have the illusion that their kids are beautiful.  It doesn't matter if they are not model babies, as kids change so much so quickly.  Those  "unfortunate-looking" babies usually get better looking by 3 months of age and I've seen the cutest toddlers grow into "unfortunate-looking" adults. 

    I try not lie to people ( I think it's two-faced and I resent people who falsely say flattering things).  I usually say "precious" if the baby doesn't deserve the "gorgeous/beautiful" title.

    I agree. Whenever I see an unfortunite looking child, I try to find one thing nice about their looks and comment on that. Ex: Instead of saying they are beautiful, I'll say "(S)he has such nice eyes/nose/chubby cheeks,ect"



    "Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
    "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison
  • I do try to use words like precious or small or sweet! All babies are sweet! But occasionally I catch myself saying beautiful or cute. So is that how you know? If someone comes up and says "You're baby is so precious" thats how I will know my baby isn't cute?
  • I heard on a talk show that you can just say "now that's a baby" when you don't think a baby is cute. I tend to just say, Aw... how sweet!
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  • DD was NOT cute when she was born.  She sure as hell is now though.  She was waaaay too big for me and came out squished and swollen looking I loved her instantly but I didn't think she started to look cute until she decompressed.  It took a few days. 
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  • to me - most babies look like aliens.

    but also - once they fill out (say about 3 months) all babies are adorable. 

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  • you will think your baby is beautiful, it is an innate, maternal thing.  it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
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  • I don't think any newborns are cute-- they all look like aliens. I however don't say "what a beautiful baby" because itd be a lie I'll say "oh look at those cute little toes" or "isnt he sweet" if its cuddled up sleeping.

    Guess thats just me...

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  • Just enter the kid in a beauty pageant and let the experts decide.  Spray tanning seems to help...

    I jest.

    I was very premature myself, pulled out with forceps so I had a mishapen head and a very smushed up face.  My mother said she didn't believe I was hers and I was not a cute baby at all.  So hey, I guess some moms can tell!

    But why do you want your LO's appearance to be evaluated as beautiful or not?  My DD was, and is, absolutely gorgeous, and I would cutabitch who said otherwise!!!!  I already know my son in my belly is a handsome fella.  Who cares what anyone else's standards are for attractiveness of our spawn? 

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  • Hmm seriously? I don't know which is worse, worrying that much that your baby is going to be cute or worrying that you won't know the difference.
  • imageJanimal:

    Just enter the kid in a beauty pageant and let the experts decide.  Spray tanning seems to help...

    I jest.

    <3 this!

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  • All babies are beautiful. Its adults who can be ugly.
    Heidi
  • I don't care what everyone else thinks. She will be beautiful to me, and that's all that matters. And I'll tell her that all the time.
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  • To be honest, I've yet to see a newborn baby is actually cute.  They all look alien-like.  I think it takes a while for them to actually develop some characteristics to show what they will actually look like.  I am of the opinion that most people when they meet the baby for the first time just automatically say "oh what a cute baby" as a way of acknowledging your child.  
  • I've wondered the same thing! I mean, obviously I'll think my baby is cute, but I also know that not all babies are necessarily cute, especially at first. Glad I'm not the only one who's wondered this!
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  • I think you can look back and see. I thought DD was the most beautiful baby ever and I look at pics of her as a NB and think, wow, she looked like a little old man. Not so cute. I have seen some truly ugly NBs though and assume they have to get cuter as they plump up.
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  • imagewishful thinkin:

    imagePearlPink:
    I always worried I would think my baby/child wasn't good looking and how would I tell them when they asked?! However the longer I've been pregnant and the circumstances we have (little one will have a cleft lip) I've come to realize at least for me, every parent and child should see eachother as beautiful, its part of the circle of life. I know our LO's lip will make people uncomfortable and she will get looks especially before its fixed. My LO won't be perfect and I don't care if the whole world thinks she looks funny, she is already beautiful to me and frankly I don't want anyone telling me otherwise lol.

    Your LO WILL BE PERFECT!! A baby that has an unfortunate circumstance does not make them any less perfect then the next baby! Your LO will be perfect in her own little way, cleft lip or not. Big Smile And who ever thinks your baby is funny looking should go to hell!

    The other day I was in Target and I saw the MOST BEAUTIFUL baby girl in the world. She was absolutely stunning!! She was a down baby and she was still beautiful!

     

     

    Ahh you just literally made me cry like a baby! Thank you for your kind words. I don't think of her as imperfect I just know others might see it that way. My point was more that no matter what I'll love her and think she is beautiful...just like most parents do with their children :)

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  • I remember the first time my mom went through my baby album with me when I was around 10. She showed me my newborn pictures, and the first thing I said was "Wow, I was a really ugly baby." Her jaw dropped and eyes went wide, but when she recovered she said "I thought you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen when you were born, and I still do." :)

    Babies do look a little weird at first, but once they fill out and grow a little most of the ones I've seen have been adorable! 

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  • Well every parent thinks their children is cute. Alot of family and friends will say your child is cute as well to be nice. If random strangers come up to you and tell you your child is cute, adorable, etc, then you will know.

    I wondered the same thing b/c I normally do not think babies are cute but I did think my daughter is/was. But when I had tons of strangers coming up to me saying how cute, adorable she was, I knew. She is almost 4 and I still have complete strangers that want to talk to her and complimenting on how adorable, pretty she is. I actually have been told tons of times that I need to enter her into modeling.

    You can also tell by a person's body language. If they halfway smile and say aww or how cute then it's not completely believeable. If they have an ear to ear grin on their face, talk in a high pitched voice, gets all excited, and you are trying to get away from them b/c you are busy shopping when all they want to do is talk to your child, then you know its not fake. 

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  •  Most newborns are ugly and need to grow into their faces.
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  • imagehydie918:
    All babies are beautiful. Its adults who can be ugly.

     

    I agree!

    There is a difference between BEING beautiful and LOOKING beautiful. In my book, all babies ARE beautiful, even if they look like aliens. Bad comparison, but it's sort of the same way that even the weirdest looking dogs are adorable. They just are, it's in their nature - just like all babies are beautiful.  

    IVF #1 - DD born 2011 FET #1-3 all BFN IVF#2- BFP! EDD Nov. 3, 2014 1st US - March 28
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