Children at baby showers...

missmicciche · September 2011

I'm only 15 weeks into my pregnancy but all my close friends and family are talking baby shower already. I've expressed that I don't want any young children at the baby shower but no one is listening to me. It's a little frustrating to me. How do you feel about children at baby showers?[Poll]

CallieSam · September 2011

I, personally, have never understood this. If you?re having a baby, you better get used to having young children around. And I am always a little offended when I get invited to things that exclude my son. I mean, obviously a bachelorette party or something is no place for children, but he is part of my family and I don?t like telling him he is not allowed to come with me to things like that. Just my opinion.

Thall5 · September 2011

The choice is yours, and people should listen to you. Its a shower for you and your baby. I hope they really do listen to you in the end. Not to sound momzilla or anything, but it's not about anyone else. Wink

jayleigh68 · September 2011

CallieSam:

I, personally, have never understood this. If you?re having a baby, you better get used to having young children around. And I am always a little offended when I get invited to things that exclude my son. I mean, obviously a bachelorette party or something is no place for children, but he is part of my family and I don?t like telling him he is not allowed to come with me to things like that. Just my opinion.

I find them to be distracting. Babies and older kids are fine but young kids running around bored... meh. Who wants to deal with that at a party with mostly adults? I went to one recently with kids and it was very distracting.

shanad · September 2011

The only children invited to my shower for DS were my nieces. Showers are for women and my nieces are older 5, 9, and 11. No other kids.

Kids are distracting for the most part and I would think other moms would like a nice lunch out without having to tend to their kids.

sunnyday016 · September 2011

I think it depends on where the shower is held. If it's at someone's house and the kids can play in the basement or backyard, then that's okay. If it's held at a fancy banquet hall, then no. I would have no problem with people bringing babies or older children (like 5y+) to the shower, but toddler-4ish is going to be very distracting. It's really your decision.

kknapp25 · September 2011

it's your day so ultimately, you wishes are what should be honored, but seriously....what's the big deal with having kids there??

afterall, you're pregnant now, too, and some day you may be that mom that has to bring the kiddos to the shower with you. i have an 8mn old & am pregnant with #2 so maybe i see things in a different light. i would have a very hard time finding a babysitter, and not to mention paying for a gift for someone but also having to pay for a babysitter. BUT i also know when it's time to call if quits for my son, he's extremely well behaved & when he's got attention & new things to look at he's very good. but when he starts to act up or get fussy i know it's time to stop or leave where we are, so if you're concerned about your crowd not knowing when it's time to bow out i can see your point. i just think it's a little odd to have a baby shower & not allow kids there.

raspberry_bride · September 2011

My mom always took me to showers starting when I was 7 or 8. I loved going to showers and I wasn't bored at all, but I can see how younger children could get bored and start messing around. That would be extremely distracting and annoying if you were anybody else at the shower (at least I would think so). I agree that it is nice for moms to get an afternoon off where they don't feel like they have to watch their kid the whole time.

mahtnamas23 · September 2011

I went to a shower a few weeks back that had kids at it and it was bad! The kids surrounded the mother-to-be and were opening the presents for her (note she did not want this). There were so many of them that no one could even see or take pictures. To me the worst part was that the mothers of the children just let them do it. The mother-to-be is a good friend of mine,so I could tell (and she told me after) she was very uncomfortable with all the children around her. She felt like she could hardly breath/move. I personally am not going to tell people they cant bring their kids and hope that the mother control their kids... I would say if you do have kids present at the event make sure their in a diffrent room or have something far more interesting than your presents to keep them entertained.

vanillacourage · September 2011

phancykat:
I understand completely. They're going to get into everything and run amok. They'll end up being the center of attention when it is supposed to be you. That sounds selfish, but hello, it's your baby shower, the party is SUPPOSED to revolve around you.

Are you serious? This actually sounds so ridiculous that you might be being satirical.

I don't like it when kids run amok or swarm the mom-to-be either, that's why when it was my shower I asked them nicely to back up, if they didn't I asked their moms to have them give me some space. When it was my turn to host and they were running around at my house, when they didn't listen I asked their moms to intervene. The problem is not the kids, it's moms who want to sit back and chitchat rather than watching their children - and if that's the case, I have no qualms about putting the problem back on them (nicely, of course).

Anyway, family event = kids are welcome, IMO. Especially a baby shower where the whole point is to celebrate a new one.

countrygrl5533 · September 2011

I've never been to a baby shower with children present that I can remember. To me, it is a women's event not a family event. It is just one of those things that kids don't go to.

MTAtlanta · September 2011

Seems inappropriate to me - it's for adults/women, not a 'family' event.

The focus should be on the baby-to-be, not older ones running around bored. You'd think the guests would welcome time to celebrate with their adult friends only.

shanad · September 2011

kknapp25:

it's your day so ultimately, you wishes are what should be honored, but seriously....what's the big deal with having kids there??

afterall, you're pregnant now, too, and some day you may be that mom that has to bring the kiddos to the shower with you. i have an 8mn old & am pregnant with #2 so maybe i see things in a different light. i would have a very hard time finding a babysitter, and not to mention paying for a gift for someone but also having to pay for a babysitter. BUT i also know when it's time to call if quits for my son, he's extremely well behaved & when he's got attention & new things to look at he's very good. but when he starts to act up or get fussy i know it's time to stop or leave where we are, so if you're concerned about your crowd not knowing when it's time to bow out i can see your point. i just think it's a little odd to have a baby shower & not allow kids there.

Question, are men invited to baby showers you go to? Usually, the kids are left at home with their father or another relative or friend, not associated with the person having the shower. So don't assume you would need to pay a babysitter.

lulling · September 2011

No kids at mine, thanks! I have a verrrry slim window of time left where there will not be a child running around, screaming, crying, knocking things over, etc. I want to enjoy it. Plus, it is also nice for the guests. Not all of my invitees have children and people that don't have children usually don't want to try to enjoy an adult party with kids running around and making a mess.

kmiller1012 · September 2011

I had 2 children at mine. A 1 and 2 yr old. It was not a problem. At my sisters she had tons of kids in all ages, again it wasn't a problem. You are celebrating a new baby I can't imagine saying no kids. You will be that parent soon that needs to bring there child with them.

As far as having your husband watch them, sometimes that isn't an option. My H travels and works weekends sometimes. He has worked 3 wks straight right now and I wouldn't want to have to pay a babysitter.

Thall5 · September 2011

Personally for my shower, I don't really want kids running around. That might be only because I have no other children, this LO will be our first. I would want to be able to visit with people easily, not between their kids destracting them and everyone else. I know that eventually I will be a mom, and my kid will be my life. But I would totally respect the wishes of the mom-to-be and find a sitter if they didn't want kids present.

overall it's a personal choice for everyone. If you don't mind great if you do thats great too.

samcbrick · September 2011

countrygrl5533:
I've never been to a baby shower with children present that I can remember. To me, it is a women's event not a family event. It is just one of those things that kids don't go to.

I feel the same way. I thought that it was a time for the ladies to be together! A time when moms/ wives could have some time off, and chitchat.

kiarstin · September 2011

If there is a ton of kids, I would say go for it, since they will entertain each other, I mine there is going to be none, because it would really only be a couple kids anyway and the ones it would be are ill behaved. I dont think it is rude to ask people to not bring their kids. You can have a life outside your children. Plus there will be drinking at mine and its coed, I don't feel it is necessary to cater to anyone. Its my house its my food its my alcohol its my rules. There are many times were bringing all the kids together for a bbq will happen but to me its adult time.

tash_rn · September 2011

I'm not a fan of young kids at showers and what not. Honestely, they get bored and then their parents are usually so busy trying to entertain them that they miss out on the fun and games. Small babies are fine and older kids are fine but the toddler age is hard. Sorry they aren't listening to you.

charlotte99999 · September 2011

I have never been to a baby shower that had children, ever, unless it was a niece of the guest of honor or something similar. To me a shower is ladies dressing up and having a lunch. Even coed showers that I have been to have been clearly adults only.

Hmm. I guess it depends on what goes in your crowd/culture. But if your friends always through showers that have children, I think it is going to be harder to make the case for them not to be there. You could say you would not prefer it, but ultimately it is up to the hosts to decide what your shower will be like.

countrygrl5533 · September 2011

I've been thinking about this more and I actually find it odd that you would have to request "no children" for a baby shower. Maybe it is because of where I live but like I said, children are never at baby showers that I have been to. They always stay home with dad. So I actually would never think to say no kids on the invitation or whatnot because that just doesn't happen around here.

The only children I have ever seen at a shower have been over 6 and related to the mom-to-be.

diana.filipi · September 2011

I would not come to your shower if my daughter wasn't permitted. How weird to have a BABY shower and not want any kids there :-/

countrygrl5533 · September 2011

diana.filipi:
I would not come to your shower if my daughter wasn't permitted. How weird to have a BABY shower and not want any kids there :-/

See, I think it is really weird to have kids at a baby shower. To me, it is a mom/women thing. There are some things kids just don't go to.

Again, it might be a New England thing. A native NH friend and I were planning a bridal shower and bachelorette party for a native PA friend. We went off traditional of what we have always known. Come to find out, bride was annoyed it wasn't the way she knew it. Different areas, different traditions and ways of doing things.

missmicciche · September 2011

I love children & am around them all the time, I just feel like children who need constant supervision (6&under) take away from the grown up fun that goes on. I agree with a few of you that it's about me & my baby, especially since this is my first time doing this whole process. thanks for all the feedback though, it's been really helpful

lauranoelle09 · September 2011

I totally don't understand not inviting children to a baby shower. They're just as excited to welcome a new baby as anyone else! I think it's the parents job to keep their children under control, and if they couldn't do that I wouldn't have a problem asking a kid to stop yelling, running around, etc. But it is your choice, my opinion comes from my personal experience and I think little kids make events even better.

BitsKD13 · September 2011

countrygrl5533:
diana.filipi:
I would not come to your shower if my daughter wasn't permitted. How weird to have a BABY shower and not want any kids there :-/
See, I think it is really weird to have kids at a baby shower. To me, it is a mom/women thing. There are some things kids just don't go to.
Again, it might be a New England thing. A native NH friend and I were planning a bridal shower and bachelorette party for a native PA friend. We went off traditional of what we have always known. Come to find out, bride was annoyed it wasn't the way she knew it. Different areas, different traditions and ways of doing things.

Maybe it is a New England thing. The only showers I've been to with kids there (as in under 12) was my cousins shower and the one child there was her 7-year-old niece. As far as I've experienced baby/bridal showers are for women and kids over 12, unless it's the bride/mom-to-be's nieces.

Gryffadorable · September 2011

It doesn't bother me at all. I had kids at my wedding and kids at my baby shower. DS has always been a very lowkey child, even as an infant, so any time I've brought him to events he's been very chill. He'll play quietly and does not "run amok." I never just bring him without getting the OK from the guest of honor but more often than not they'll say "I hope you're bringing Chase!" without me even mentioning it. If he was a little holy terror then I might think differently but we've never had an issue.

It's just my opinion. I know the baby shower is all about me but the world itself doesn't actually revolve around me and having kids around for a couple hours while I open presents and eat cake just isn't a big deal to me. But if it's the guest-of-honor's desire to have no children there I certainly would respect that and not bring mine.

GoldenGibson · September 2011

I'm undecided because I think it depends on the kids, but I would say in generally 3-10 year olds would not be permitted but babies are just fine. I think most women are happy to pass the baby around and give the mom a break. If I have a shower I would prefer for it to be child free, just so it's more relaxing and easy to socialize without moms chasing their kids around. I would make an exception for a well behaved child, but I agree that it's supposed to be an adult function.

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