Blended Families

Real men pay for their own car insurance....

Okay so we added SS to our car insurance.  Surprise! $154 MORE a month.

So SS told him dad "I offer to pay $50"..... Uh don't think so.  He has to pay half or he won't be driving.  Driving is a priviledge.  He can take the school bus, or bike to school or walk. 

Re: Real men pay for their own car insurance....

  • Oh my god. We pay $66 per month for DH and I. That is in.sane.
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  • You are nicer than my mom. If I wanted to drive I had to pay my own insurance. He is gettin off easy. 'I offer to pay$50'. Bahahahahahahaa!! My mom would have laughed and 'offered' to buy me a bus pass.
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  • I think it's nice he offered to help out, but what do I know?  I probably won't charge them rent in h.s. either.

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
  • imageJ&A2008:

    I think it's nice he offered to help out, but what do I know?  I probably won't charge them rent in h.s. either.

    does Flo's SS pay rent? :::insert confused face::: I think paying half is fair. I, like pp had to pay all of my driving related expenses. IDK what the plan is for SS. I am terrified of the day he gets his DL.
  • For me it would really depend on my son's age. I would NOT charge for anything while my child was in high school. I am not sure how old your SS is so obviously my opinion is uninformed in your situation.

    As long as you and your husband are on the same page then hopefully the SS will follow.

    Car insurance, I would only ask them to pay if they were over 20 and out of school. (or over 22 regardless)

    I do think it's reasonable to ask him to pay for some but again, depends on the age.

     My fiance thinks I tend to be soft on things and I admit a lot of times I am BUT it's working so far. (my kids are both teens and very responsible) 

  • imagexmaryrickx:
    imageJ&A2008:

    I think it's nice he offered to help out, but what do I know?  I probably won't charge them rent in h.s. either.

    does Flo's SS pay rent? :::insert confused face::: I think paying half is fair. I, like pp had to pay all of my driving related expenses. IDK what the plan is for SS. I am terrified of the day he gets his DL.

     Flo - if you would just love your SS more...Sheesh.

    I think it's smart to have him pay for half. It teaches him responsibity and he will be more careful with the vehicle if he understands how much it costs.  Great opportunity to teach a financial responsibility lesson.

  • And Wendilea would you say that this was one reason (probably out of many) that has factored into and made you a responsible, well rounded adult today? Would you say that it taught you responsibility at a young age and made you care for that vehicle more and not abuse the privelege of having a vehicle?

  • I paid all my insurance and most of the cost of my car in HS (it was something like $2200 in 1991.)  And actually I carried my own insurance, driving age in NJ is 17 by my choice to limit liability to my parents.  Actually my parents paid the first 6 months as my birthday present.

    If the kid took school seriously and working would interfer with his grades then I might not recommend working but this is not the case.

    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • There is absolutely no need for a high school student to own a car.  

    J&A you must be losing your mind to suggest that a parent SHOULD provide one for them.  

    It is a parents JOB to teach children to be responsible in the world and one of the most important lessons in life is that you work for what you own.  If you can't afford it, you don't get it.   

    Flo I think 50% of insurance is more than fair.

     

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  • I used to work for an auto insurance company, and you can assume him that $150 a month for a teen boy is getting off cheap! Is he eligible for any good student discounts or a defensive driving course?
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  • I had to pay car insurance when I was in HS---even though I didn't have a car to drive-was under my parents' insurance and their car. 

    It's a priviledge to drive, not a necessity, IMO.  I agree that it def makes you feel responsible later on.

    I know there's a program in my state where you can take a class and get your insurance lowered-not sure if it's about DUI or what.  My neighbor's daughter took it... Might want to look into it-and no, I don't mean driver's ed, either.  Just something through the state.

  • We had a talk yesterday and he agreed to pay half the insurance.  Also, he's going to ask about taking the driver's ed class (even though he already has a license) which will lower our car insurance fee which in turn will lower his end.  He's working at the theatre on weekends so he does have money coming in. 

    Also, he's still overweight so if he really wanted to help himself lose weight, he could always ride his bike to school.  He has a thing (as all boys do) about being cool, and since his dad owns a newer pickup, it's his status symbol. 

  • imagewendilea:
    Yes, that probably contributed to it.  I worked for everything I had, and still do.

    Thank you Wendilea and others for helping me make a point that it's actually a good thing to make teens financially responsible.

    One of the worst things I think you can do as a parent is hand your child everything. I think it's one of many reasons why we have many (not all) entitled self absorbed twenty somethings now.

    Even if I were a millionaire, I'd still make my daugther get a job and pay for certain things so that she learn the value of money and things and appreciates them. 

  • I will never understand the working in high school thing.  There is no way I could have maintained my GPA, been active in clubs and sports and worked.  My job in high school was to keep a 4.5 or above, and get into a good college (thereby being able to get into a good grad school) PERIOD.  It didn't make me a slacker, perma-child twenty-something because my parents paid for my car insurance.  Also, by the time I was 16 my parents were thrilled to stop ferrying me about to friends, practice, dance class, etc.  They considered it a bargain to pay for my car insurance to get their time back.
  • My 16yo son worked all summer and made enough money to pay for 6 months of insurance and then I pay the next six months.  It works out well, he is involved in a lot of extras at school so working during the school year is hard but this way works  for us.
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  • I think that's more than fair. I had to pay for half of my car insurance and when I rear-ended someone and my rates went up, I also had to pay the difference. It's always a good idea to teach kids responsibility. 

    As far as working, I worked during high school. I also graduated with honors, was active in several extracurriculars and my church, and had a pretty active social life. I ended up at a great college (I worked part-time during the school year and full time during the summer) where I graduated *** laude (d@mn chemistry and russian history), and went on to grad school (where I also worked) and graduated with a 4.0.

    But, you know, my parents were just hateful, awful people and my life has clearly been negatively affected by them making me be responsible for something. 

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  • imageLizard1131:
    I will never understand the working in high school thing.  There is no way I could have maintained my GPA, been active in clubs and sports and worked.  My job in high school was to keep a 4.5 or above, and get into a good college (thereby being able to get into a good grad school) PERIOD.  It didn't make me a slacker, perma-child twenty-something because my parents paid for my car insurance.  Also, by the time I was 16 my parents were thrilled to stop ferrying me about to friends, practice, dance class, etc.  They considered it a bargain to pay for my car insurance to get their time back.

    I think this is more of a case by case basis kind of thing. When I turned 15 I started coaching at the place I took gymnastics/competitive cheerleading. We worked out a deal with the owner, we didn't pay for my practices and he didn't pay me to work. So I had a job, but no money to pay for things like car insurance. But my parents still came out way ahead by paying for things like car insurance instead of my gym time.

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  • imageLizard1131:
    I will never understand the working in high school thing.  There is no way I could have maintained my GPA, been active in clubs and sports and worked.  My job in high school was to keep a 4.5 or above, and get into a good college (thereby being able to get into a good grad school) PERIOD.  It didn't make me a slacker, perma-child twenty-something because my parents paid for my car insurance.  Also, by the time I was 16 my parents were thrilled to stop ferrying me about to friends, practice, dance class, etc.  They considered it a bargain to pay for my car insurance to get their time back.
    not every child is an honor student bound for a successful college career. Not every child is involved in athletics and clubs. YOUR experience is just that, yours. And there is nothing wrong with that. However, you have to be able to look at each situation for what it is, and adjust accordingly. For some kids getting real life work experience and bring responsible for bills (even partially) so is the preperation they need for their future.
  • I will never understand the working in high school thing.  There is no way I could have maintained my GPA, been active in clubs and sports and worked.  My job in high school was to keep a 4.5 or above, and get into a good college (thereby being able to get into a good grad school) PERIOD.  It didn't make me a slacker, perma-child twenty-something because my parents paid for my car insurance.  Also, by the time I was 16 my parents were thrilled to stop ferrying me about to friends, practice, dance class, etc.  They considered it a bargain to pay for my car insurance to get their time back.
     
    It sounds like you were an amazingly focused, talented and intelligent student.
  • we pay for ss's ins. but we made him take a defensive driving course to save money on our insurance and we also got a $200.00 discount for his good grades.  Part of driving our car hinges on good grades.  B average or better to keep driving.
  • imageLizard1131:
    I will never understand the working in high school thing.  There is no way I could have maintained my GPA, been active in clubs and sports and worked.  My job in high school was to keep a 4.5 or above, and get into a good college (thereby being able to get into a good grad school) PERIOD.  It didn't make me a slacker, perma-child twenty-something because my parents paid for my car insurance.  Also, by the time I was 16 my parents were thrilled to stop ferrying me about to friends, practice, dance class, etc.  They considered it a bargain to pay for my car insurance to get their time back.

    Exactly.

    I'm not sure what about my response is being considered so rude.  Because I joked about making him pay rent?  I just don't understand calling a high school boy a "man."  A man would pay rent, buy groceries, and have a full time job. 

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
  • imageJ&A2008:

    imageLizard1131:
    I will never understand the working in high school thing.  There is no way I could have maintained my GPA, been active in clubs and sports and worked.  My job in high school was to keep a 4.5 or above, and get into a good college (thereby being able to get into a good grad school) PERIOD.  It didn't make me a slacker, perma-child twenty-something because my parents paid for my car insurance.  Also, by the time I was 16 my parents were thrilled to stop ferrying me about to friends, practice, dance class, etc.  They considered it a bargain to pay for my car insurance to get their time back.

    Exactly.

    I'm not sure what about my response is being considered so rude.  Because I joked about making him pay rent?  I just don't understand calling a high school boy a "man."  A man would pay rent, buy groceries, and have a full time job. 

    Your tone did not come off as joking, and quite frankly as a joke makes no sense.

    And that is great if that is how you want to raise your children. If they are all focused, and exceptional students, with full extracurricular activities, then wonderful. But that isn't every child. Some are not going on to get college degrees (and thank goodness for that), because that isn't what they are cut out for. So,what do you do with the kid who just isn't cut out for that path? How do you teach that child responsibility? How do you teach that child to have a work ethic?
    Why can't you look at issues from more than one angle?

  • I don't know?  Why can't everyone else see it from the other side without getting their panties in a bunch? 

    Really, one great way to teach responsibility is to be a role model.  You want your kids to grow up and be good parents and provide everything they can for their kids, so that's the example you set for them. 

    As far as college goes, the job market is not what it was 40 or even 20 years ago.  Master's degrees are being called the new Bachelor's.  The job pool for those without higher education is rapidly shrinking, and I think it's foolishness to not make academics and education the focus of any young person, whether they test in the bottom 20th percentile or the top 90th.

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
  • imageJ&A2008:

    I don't know?  Why can't everyone else see it from the other side without getting their panties in a bunch? 

    Really, one great way to teach responsibility is to be a role model.  You want your kids to grow up and be good parents and provide everything they can for their kids, so that's the example you set for them. 

    As far as college goes, the job market is not what it was 40 or even 20 years ago.  Master's degrees are being called the new Bachelor's.  The job pool for those without higher education is rapidly shrinking, and I think it's foolishness to not make academics and education the focus of any young person, whether they test in the bottom 20th percentile or the top 90th.

    Really?  Then why was Mike Rowe testifying in front of Congress a few months ago about how we NEED more people going into trades like plumbing, electrical, construction, etc and how that pool of available workers is rapidly shrinking?  College isn't for everyone.

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  • imageodear:
    imageJ&A2008:

    I don't know?  Why can't everyone else see it from the other side without getting their panties in a bunch? 

    Really, one great way to teach responsibility is to be a role model.  You want your kids to grow up and be good parents and provide everything they can for their kids, so that's the example you set for them. 

    As far as college goes, the job market is not what it was 40 or even 20 years ago.  Master's degrees are being called the new Bachelor's.  The job pool for those without higher education is rapidly shrinking, and I think it's foolishness to not make academics and education the focus of any young person, whether they test in the bottom 20th percentile or the top 90th.

    Really?  Then why was Mike Rowe testifying in front of Congress a few months ago about how we NEED more people going into trades like plumbing, electrical, construction, etc and how that pool of available workers is rapidly shrinking?  College isn't for everyone.

    exactly. We need skilled laborers in this country. It is that class of people who actually keep our infrastructures working. They keep our lives running. Without those people we will all be screwed. We certainly don't want there to ever be a lack of supply for those services, they are expensive enough already. No to mention the country is so flooded with degrees that even the most basic admin jobs now require a bachelors. Which is lame. Go spend four years and tens of thousands of dollars to get an "education" to come out and answer phones or work at enterprise. What a waste of resources. College isn't for everyone and shouldn't be for everyone. It does not guaruntee you success in life anymore the way it once did because the market had become too saturated with degrees.
  • imageJ&A2008:

    I think it's nice he offered to help out, but what do I know?  I probably won't charge them rent in h.s. either.

     

    WHAT? Who charges a high school kid rent???

     

    Stay at Home Mama to 3 Beautiful Children by the miracles of Birth & Adoption
  • imagemom2one:
    imageJ&A2008:

    I think it's nice he offered to help out, but what do I know?  I probably won't charge them rent in h.s. either.

     

    WHAT? Who charges a high school kid rent???

     

    OMG-read the responses.  No, she does not charge him rent.

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