S/o preschool- anyone "redshirting"?

abba916 · September 2011

I was reading and article about parents holding kids back , particularly boys, so that they are amongst the oldest in the class...

anyone doing this? or do this?

My cousin did this- her kids started Kindergarten at 6...they are older now and it doesnt seem to be much of an issue...

dle927 · September 2011

My former boss, who was an educator in the Buffalo Public Schools, told me that I should do it prior to finding out Claire was a girl. She kept saying since the baby would have an October birthday she recommends holding the child back if it was a boy. Obviously a non-issue. If Claire had been a boy, I would think that, instead of a blanket answer of holding the child back, it would make more sense to me to evaluate the individual child and then make a decision.

Ashnmike528 · September 2011

I've never heard of that term, but I am seriously considering starting dd "later" because her bday is like 6 wks before the cut off. One of my good friends growing up had a late bday and it was really hard for her to watch everyone else drive and do other things way before her. Plus I don't like the idea of dd going to college at 17. That's just my opinion, I'm sure she will do fine whatever we decide.

JenJar · September 2011

Riley will turn 5 at the end of July, and I'm 95% sure we'll wait until the following year to have her start kindergarten. In the five years I taught first grade, I had four students that were retained and all of them had summer birthdays and were among the youngest in the class.

ArcticFox · September 2011

People generally do this around the cutoff dates - so like Oct-Dec bdays depending on the cutoff. Also they do kindergarten testing to determine how ready a child is for kindergarten, so then if you are on the fence or feel like your child isn't ready, it is more likely you'd redshirt. Preschool is a bit different, I think it is more lenient in terms of age etc, I started my DD in preschool in March, stuff like start dates aren't a big deal. Redshirting has been discussed in depth on the preschool board if you are looking for more info.

abba916 · September 2011

Ashnmike528:
One of my good friends growing up had a late bday and it was really hard for her to watch everyone else drive and do other things way before her. Plus I don't like the idea of dd going to college at 17. That's just my opinion, I'm sure she will do fine whatever we decide.

That was my issue- I am a Sept Birthday and I turned 18 a month after college started- it was kind of ridiculous...I never had any academic issues but it would have been nice to be doing some at the same time as my peers...

battybtags · September 2011

My SIL did it with our nephew and probably will with our neice (she has a Nov bday though so might not make the cut off)...he was 6 when he started K last year. My neice will be 4 in Nov and is just starting pre-K now and will do another year next year as far as I know

BethPSU · September 2011

My birthday is at the end of Sept. and I always loved being the youngest. Academically, I was always top of my class. Holding me back would have been absurd. Although I did nap the afternoons away in 1st grade. The teacher would let us "rest" our heads on our desks after lunch and I would wake up at the end of the day until the teacher mentioned it to my mom and my mom told her to just wake me up. I was always a tired kid and am still a tired adult!

Reed's birthday is Sept. 30 so he is borderline like me. I think it is something that needs to be evaluated by child. I expect to send him, but will wait and see when they do kindergarten screening. People have thought he was 3 y/o since he turned 2 because of his size and vocabulary. I would also prefer for him and Pierce to be 2 grades apart instead of just 1. A lot of people hold their boys back for sports which I think is crazy. One of my friends that teaches in the Baltimore suburbs said that is the norm down there mostly for athletic purposes so their boys will be bigger in middle school than their peers. I think that is absurd.

aSp6907 · September 2011

I'm a November baby and had no problems in school with it. While yes I was the youngest of my friends and had to wait almost a full year to drive when they were driving it never once bothered me. I did fine in school and was probably more mature then most of the kids in my class. I have no intention on holding Belle back at all.

Now my brother's FI's son is an October baby and should have been held back. He didn't do well last year in Kindergarten at all and the school told her they we're going to hold her son back. Then at the very end of the year decided to push him through to first grade. Shame on the school for pushing him through. I would have fought them on that decision considering the kid did not excel in school at all.

It completley depends on the kid and should be decided on closer to when the child starts school.

And wanted to add, that I loved being the youngest of my friends.

Telyco · September 2011

Us for sure...DS will be going to K at 5, and will turn 6 that Nov. I would much rather my kid be the oldest than the youngest, and if he turns out to be a genius...we'll figure out a way to keep him stimulated. He can just start taking AP classes earlier in HS

This is part of the reason I only semi-freaked out when we were wait-listed for the only preschool around here. He won't be going to K for another 3 years...so I don't think 3 years of preschool will be that necessary, esp since he is getting EI services already.

Court0026 · September 2011

At this point, no. Owen is already academically ready for kindergarten and he has 2 years of preschool to work on/work out the social stuff. I have been a teacher for 7 years and while I think it is probably true that parents never regret it, I don't like when people just "redshirt" just because. One thing that came up on the preschool board that I definitely worry about is my son being that much younger if EVERYONE redshirts starting in the summer. You know? I mean, there are definitely times when it is warranted and who knows, maybe I will be considering it for my DD. I don't know. It is probably also because DH and I were fall babies and we had great school careers and didn't feel like our lives were negatively affected. The weirdest thing I have read on TB about it was someone saying that they would have had a better life if their parents had held them back a year before K. They said that then they wouldn't have been so lost after college with what to do with their lives. I mean another year can obviously mean being more mature, but they still had the same amount of school time to figure it out. Who knows!

MelissaSue81 · September 2011

Nope. I know I am in the minority on this.. but I would NEVER want my kids to be the oldest in their class. i believe that being around older kids a) teaches them things and b)pushes them to succeed more. Eve is going to be ONE of the older kids in her class anyway, with her February birthday and I honestly wish i could send her to K a year early (but I won't).. She will be over 5.5 when she starts kindergarten.

Also, this may have faded now since more and more parents are holding their kids back, but when I was in school and i knew a kid was older than he "should" be for the grade, it made me think that he was not very smart or had failed a grade. And I wouldn't want a 19 year old in high school either!

xKimx · September 2011

I always thought I would hold Charlie back but now that the time is here I don't think we are.

I know there are social implications to consider but academically he is more than ready for pre-K. I think he would do fine on a kindergarten placement test to be honest (I swear I'm not trying to brag or anything. He can count & recognize #'s up to 100, knows all letters & sounds, he's reading some sight words, has great problem solving & math skills, etc.). He is "all boy" though and can be quite hyper & rambunctious. He has done well in structured group settings though. And I am not overly concerned about sports, etc. (he held his own quite well against the 6 year olds in soccer this summer lol) DH skipped a grade and while he says it was annoying not being able to drive when everyone else was it really wasn't the end of the world. He ended up graduating high school when he was 16!

Plus our district kind of frowns upon redshirting. In fact he would not be allowed to to go pre-K again next year, if your child is old enough for kindergarten that is where they go. We could always pull him out to a private preschool for a year and then start K late, but I really don't think he'll need it. We'll see how this year in pre-K goes & make a final decision based on that.

MrsWhiteonWhiteSt · September 2011

My bday is 9/14- so I was always "young". It was frustrating only being 17 for the 1st month of college. Justin is 11/13 so he will probably be THE youngest in his class. Unless there are some "red flags" that come up with him starting pre-K, no I would never. I think that Justin is very bright and will be just fine. Granted, Justin can be a little handful when there's lots of kids around- he still has 2 years to simmer down. Socially, I think that all kids will have something that will make them awkward/different; weight, voice, hair etc... I think holding a child back strictly for age is silly.

Telyco · September 2011

Yeah - I don't think the actual number has anything to do with it...it's the kid. And if your kid is ready, he's ready...if he's not, he's not. My brother struggled a LOT in school...his b-day is 11-04 and my mom sent him to K at 4. He ended up being held back in 7th grade and his life just went downhill after that. Would it have anyway??...eh, probably...but it definitely didn't help him.

I think that parents put thought into this and it isn't just a "I don't want my kid to go to college at 17" type of thing. So the term red-shirting is pretty annoying to me, actually. It's like it simplifies or minimizes the decision a parent has to make. If my kid was ahead of the game, then heck yeah I would send him and feel great that he would have older kids to push himself to match or whatever. But there's something to be said for not wanting your kid to feel the need to push every single day to keep up - maybe he can even lead the pack, ya know? I mean, we're talking two weeks in my case.. If I was thinking about sending my kid when he is well into being 6...well, there are some other issues going on as to why he isn't ready for K yet.

And now that I'm thinking about it...it would be funny if my kids were two grades apart in school, and yet only 13.5 months apart in age...haha!

TinyPinkBug · September 2011

Nope, wouldn't do it, I would just be sure to get them in the best preschool. While it may give them a social advantage in the early years, I think it would give them a social disadvantage through middle and high school, especially if they are months before the cut off. I remember some kids not being able to play Pop Warner or modified sports with their peers because they were too old. My DH has an Oct birthday and was only 17 when he went to college. He also had some delays, like couldn't ride a tricycle until he was 4 1/2yrs old, and never went to preschool or day care. He is actually very successful at what he does as an adult and is by far the youngest person (by at least 15yrs) in his position at his job. I tend to think being one of the youngest kids in his class in part prepared him for being successful at a young age.

BelhurstBride · September 2011

Personally I would look at my kid's developmental level, not where their age may or may not place them. It's crazy to me that anyone does it only because of age and any advantages that would have.

jnk062602 · September 2011

DD is Sept 3, so we could but probably won't. It will all depend on how she is doing closer to Kindergarten age. Pre-school, you don't red-shirt anyway, right? You just go another year.

I was Dec 2, so I was the oldest except the kids that failed. Or red-shirted I guess, although you just assume they failed. I did good academically and socially. But you know what I sucked at? Driving. And I got licensed before all my friends so I drove us all around. Super fast. When I think of the reckless things I did behind that wheel, yikes. I mean every kid is different, but there are pros and cons to everything.

mrsoc · September 2011

Evan is late September and we will not hold him back. My birthday was at teh beginning of September and I finished in the top 10% of my class and did very well in college/career as well as socially. My sister was a November baby and struggled a little, but I think that it is more her free spirited personality than her chronological age. She did very well in college, where she was taking courses she was interested in. I think that it is crazy that people would do it for sports purposes.

JessiF41684 · September 2011

DS is going into 1st grade today. im sad he is not going to be 6 until Oct 22nd. I was very open to holding him back for another year in Kindergarden. But his teachers assured me that he is ready for 1st grade. He has some speach issues and has an IEP so they keep a really good eye on him and he does get services for speach. and some for occupational therapy. I was concerned from the begining of kindergarden that he wouldnt be ready for first. and I brought it up at every meeting we had with the commitie on special education. But the school was very assuring that he is ready for 1st. So I trusted them and hes started 1st grade today

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