How long could you and H go without sex?

RoninSirPuppyPup · September 2011

How long do you think you and H's could go without sex without it having an effect on your relationship?

H is very sexual but if I had a good reason (something medical, depression that I was actively working on) I think he could go about 6 months-a year before he'd get frustrated. We'd still have to be intimate some way, lots of cuddling and what not. If I simply stopped wanting to have sex with him he would get pretty irritated real quick.

Me on the other hand, I could go a looong time. As long as H had a reason other than just simply not wanting to have sex me.

If either of us just up and decided we were UN-interested in sex things would go downhill fast. I'd be pretty seriously concerned about our relationship.

Right now we have been pretty much abstinent for a month or so. We've just been really busy, plus H back has been hurting horribly. Other than post partum when I was completely not interested whatsoever, this is the longest we've gone without sex. I've been wondering how normal this is for parents .

erind0213 · September 2011

We have gone several weeks with out DOD but like you I think we could go 6 months to a year without it being a relationship breaker.

Usually you can tell we are both frustrated cause that is when our blow out arguments seem to happen, so we get that off our chest and then have make up sex and everything is all better!

With my DH, he schedule and day offs flip flop so that makes it tough!

Hyfagal · September 2011

We went about a year. It's not something either of us liked but it happens. There are other ways to be intimate.

MrsNiner · September 2011

H could only go a month before he would either kill me or leave me. He is very sexual. After a week he starts getting mean. sad but true.

Hyfagal · September 2011

RandomPickle:
H could only go a month before he would either kill me or leave me. He is very sexual. After a week he starts getting mean. sad but true.

That is very sad.

JJsMom211 · September 2011

I'm kind of with RP here. My H needs sex. He gets very irritable after a week of no sex. We rarely go 2 days without it. I know there are other ways to express intamacy, but for me and my H, sex is the best way. Every couple is different.

JJsMom211 · September 2011

GhostMonkey:

JJsMom211:
I'm kind of with RP here. My H needs sex. He gets very irritable after a week of no sex. We rarely go 2 days without it. I know there are other ways to express intamacy, but for me and my H, sex is the best way. Every couple is different.

Needing something and getting irritable when you don't get it is a sign of an addiction. Just an FYI.

Thanks for the FYI, but my H does not have an addiction to sex.

mchupie · September 2011

I have almost no desire right now - but try to do it once a week anyway. I could probably go ~6 months without...DH, maybe a couple months.

MrsNiner · September 2011

JJsMom211:
I know there are other ways to express intamacy, but for me and my H, sex is the best way.

This.

mom2case · September 2011

I could probably go a year, but H is a different story. It's not that I don't enjoy sex, but I'm very rarely in the mood (never have been a sexual person). I think H could go a few months, but I don't see any reason to put him through that. Sex is part of marriage in my opinion. Not an obligation, but something sacred that the two of us share only with each other.

bellabear87 · September 2011

We have gone like almost a year- we had sex once while I was pregnant... Yeah sucks.

He idk just didn't initiate it and I didn't because I didn't think he wanted it. Ugh caused lots of issues.

I would like to do it like everyday and activly think ok i am going to have sex tonight... then I am too tired, or havent taken a shower or whatnot so I say screw it. LOL

I wish we did it more but oh well.

adoubleu12 · September 2011

I give it up pretty easy these days. Recently, it is odd for us to go a full week. I was put on pelvic rest at 28 weeks after PTL scare. So that was 7 weeks plus the 6 weeks after the babies were born. I felt pretty bad for him. We are making up for lost time. Wink

SeussicalOne · September 2011

We could both go months. DH wouldn't be crazy about that, but he could do it.

GreenFlamingo7 · September 2011

I get irritable when Krispy Kreme is out of my favorite type of donut. Maybe I have an addiction. (insert eye roll smiley here)

We could go a 6-8 months for sure. I was on pelvic rest for most of my pregnancy, and we also couldn't do the deed when we were deployed. DH gets grumpy after about 10 days.

JJsMom211 · September 2011

I guess I'll clarify since GM wants to interpret my response as my husband having an addiction.

If my H and I were to go a week, two at the most, without having sex, he would start to assume the worst; I'm no longer attracted to him, I may be interested in someone outside the marriage, I'm not happy in our marriage, there is something physically wrong with me that makes me not want to have sex. These irrational thoughts, and they are very irrational, are what make my H get irritable and worry about the current state of our marriage. Like a PP said, sex is a very sacred, special bond between two people. For my H and I, sex is just that. It is part of what keeps our marriage strong and what keeps us bonded to each other. I know that not every married couple views sex this way, but we do.

My H is a typical 26 yr old man with a strong sex drive. This does not mean he has an addiction to sex. That is a ridiculous insinuation for anyone to make.

JJsMom211 · September 2011

GhostMonkey:
JJsMom211:

I guess I'll clarify since GM wants to interpret my response as my husband having an addiction.

If my H and I were to go a week, two at the most, without having sex, he would start to assume the worst; I'm no longer attracted to him, I may be interested in someone outside the marriage, I'm not happy in our marriage, there is something physically wrong with me that makes me not want to have sex. These irrational thoughts, and they are very irrational, are what make my H get irritable and worry about the current state of our marriage. Like a PP said, sex is a very sacred, special bond between two people. For my H and I, sex is just that. It is part of what keeps our marriage strong and what keeps us bonded to each other. I know that not every married couple views sex this way, but we do.

My H is a typical 26 yr old man with a strong sex drive. This does not mean he has an addiction to sex. That is a ridiculous insinuation for anyone to make.

ah, so he's insecure. And no it's not ridiculous when you state that he needs it or he gets iritable. Those are huge indicators of addictions. It was how you worded it that made it come off that way. With this- he needs it for reassurance that you want to be with him. Changes the story a bit.

FFS, you really don't get what I'm trying to say. Sometimes you make me want to punch a wall, this is one of those times. Ooh, tell me I have anger problems.

Littledeer84 · September 2011

JJsMom211:
I guess I'll clarify since GM wants to interpret my response as my husband having an addiction.

If my H and I were to go a week, two at the most, without having sex, he would start to assume the worst; I'm no longer attracted to him, I may be interested in someone outside the marriage, I'm not happy in our marriage, there is something physically wrong with me that makes me not want to have sex. These irrational thoughts, and they are very irrational, are what make my H get irritable and worry about the current state of our marriage. Like a PP said, sex is a very sacred, special bond between two people. For my H and I, sex is just that. It is part of what keeps our marriage strong and what keeps us bonded to each other. I know that not every married couple views sex this way, but we do.

My H is a typical 26 yr old man with a strong sex drive. This does not mean he has an addiction to sex. That is a ridiculous insinuation for anyone to make.

Agree. Our relationship is similar.

rimjob · September 2011

JJsMom211:
GhostMonkey:
JJsMom211:

I guess I'll clarify since GM wants to interpret my response as my husband having an addiction.

If my H and I were to go a week, two at the most, without having sex, he would start to assume the worst; I'm no longer attracted to him, I may be interested in someone outside the marriage, I'm not happy in our marriage, there is something physically wrong with me that makes me not want to have sex. These irrational thoughts, and they are very irrational, are what make my H get irritable and worry about the current state of our marriage. Like a PP said, sex is a very sacred, special bond between two people. For my H and I, sex is just that. It is part of what keeps our marriage strong and what keeps us bonded to each other. I know that not every married couple views sex this way, but we do.

My H is a typical 26 yr old man with a strong sex drive. This does not mean he has an addiction to sex. That is a ridiculous insinuation for anyone to make.

ah, so he's insecure. And no it's not ridiculous when you state that he needs it or he gets iritable. Those are huge indicators of addictions. It was how you worded it that made it come off that way. With this- he needs it for reassurance that you want to be with him. Changes the story a bit.

FFS, you really don't get what I'm trying to say. Sometimes you make me want to punch a wall, this is one of those times. Ooh, tell me I have anger problems.

I agree. This all is just a little to fvcking much.

LordValuemart · September 2011

FFS everyone step away from the computer and go get laid, don't come back til you're happy.

JJsMom211 · September 2011

I'm not really getting that bent out of shape. I was being sarcastic about punching a wall. My hands are too beautiful and delicate for such a violent act. Duh.

I guess you can take that as my H being insecure. I don't. I take it as a normal reaction to a spouse not wanting to have sex for an extended period of time. Like I said, every marriage is different. Some couples can go a long time without sex, some can't.

MissSunny42 · September 2011

JJsMom211:

I guess I'll clarify since GM wants to interpret my response as my husband having an addiction.

If my H and I were to go a week, two at the most, without having sex, he would start to assume the worst; I'm no longer attracted to him, I may be interested in someone outside the marriage, I'm not happy in our marriage, there is something physically wrong with me that makes me not want to have sex. These irrational thoughts, and they are very irrational, are what make my H get irritable and worry about the current state of our marriage. Like a PP said, sex is a very sacred, special bond between two people. For my H and I, sex is just that. It is part of what keeps our marriage strong and what keeps us bonded to each other. I know that not every married couple views sex this way, but we do.

My H is a typical 26 yr old man with a strong sex drive. This does not mean he has an addiction to sex. That is a ridiculous insinuation for anyone to make.

He starts thinking this stuff after two weeks of no sex?! Yikes. Is he insecure?

JJsMom211 · September 2011

MissSunny42:
JJsMom211:

I guess I'll clarify since GM wants to interpret my response as my husband having an addiction.

If my H and I were to go a week, two at the most, without having sex, he would start to assume the worst; I'm no longer attracted to him, I may be interested in someone outside the marriage, I'm not happy in our marriage, there is something physically wrong with me that makes me not want to have sex. These irrational thoughts, and they are very irrational, are what make my H get irritable and worry about the current state of our marriage. Like a PP said, sex is a very sacred, special bond between two people. For my H and I, sex is just that. It is part of what keeps our marriage strong and what keeps us bonded to each other. I know that not every married couple views sex this way, but we do.

My H is a typical 26 yr old man with a strong sex drive. This does not mean he has an addiction to sex. That is a ridiculous insinuation for anyone to make.

He starts thinking this stuff after two weeks of no sex?! Yikes. Is he insecure?

I have a response for this, but I'm going to refrain as I know I'll get flamed. Sex is, and has been, a touchy subject for a lot of women on this site.

LordValuemart · September 2011

Oh and to answer the original question, I haven't gotten any in 2 weeks. I'm pretty sure I'm dying. (not really, please don't call me a sex addict Crying

)

MissSunny42 · September 2011

MissSunny42:
JJsMom211:

I guess I'll clarify since GM wants to interpret my response as my husband having an addiction.

If my H and I were to go a week, two at the most, without having sex, he would start to assume the worst; I'm no longer attracted to him, I may be interested in someone outside the marriage, I'm not happy in our marriage, there is something physically wrong with me that makes me not want to have sex. These irrational thoughts, and they are very irrational, are what make my H get irritable and worry about the current state of our marriage. Like a PP said, sex is a very sacred, special bond between two people. For my H and I, sex is just that. It is part of what keeps our marriage strong and what keeps us bonded to each other. I know that not every married couple views sex this way, but we do.

My H is a typical 26 yr old man with a strong sex drive. This does not mean he has an addiction to sex. That is a ridiculous insinuation for anyone to make.

He starts thinking this stuff after two weeks of no sex?! Yikes. Is he insecure?

hahaha, I posted this without reading all of the posts below.

kmlevine04@gmail.com · September 2011

Littledeer84:
JJsMom211:
I guess I'll clarify since GM wants to interpret my response as my husband having an addiction.
If my H and I were to go a week, two at the most, without having sex, he would start to assume the worst; I'm no longer attracted to him, I may be interested in someone outside the marriage, I'm not happy in our marriage, there is something physically wrong with me that makes me not want to have sex. These irrational thoughts, and they are very irrational, are what make my H get irritable and worry about the current state of our marriage. Like a PP said, sex is a very sacred, special bond between two people. For my H and I, sex is just that. It is part of what keeps our marriage strong and what keeps us bonded to each other. I know that not every married couple views sex this way, but we do.
My H is a typical 26 yr old man with a strong sex drive. This does not mean he has an addiction to sex. That is a ridiculous insinuation for anyone to make.
Agree. Our relationship is similar.

Agreed here too. We went two weeks when I found out i was pregnant (we were afraid to jostle the baby while she was 'settling in'...no joke), but thats the longest we've gone. ever. I could go longer, but DH would definitely get sad, sulky and probably irritable. Doesn't make him an addict, just a normal dude with a sex drive, who happens to be totally attracted to his wife. Not the worst problem in the world to have IMO.

MissSunny42 · September 2011

I could go a while, three months or so. H could too if he needed to. we usually have sex two or three times a week because we both really want to. If it is a slow week H describes his horniness as a buzzing in his head that wont shut off until we have sex. Men are so weird.

spursgirl10 · September 2011

He could probably go 6 months. We have when he was away at school but I can't go more than 3 weeks when we are together. I become that insecure person. I am not gonna lie. I try and talk myself out of the crazy thoughts that cross my mind but all it does is lead to irritability. I don't think I am an addict. Just don't think right sometimes. So he pleases me by making sure we do often.

RoninSirPuppyPup · September 2011

LordValuemart:
FFS everyone step away from the computer and go get laid, don't come back til you're happy.

this

AshC311:
Just stop now. You're sucking all of the fun out of the post. It's ridiculous.

this

GhostMonkey:
It is insecurity. If you are ok with it, then great. It works for you.

Take your own advice. If she had said "My H demands sex everyday and would leave me if I didn't comply like a good little wife!" that would be one thing. Wanting to have sex everyday is totally normal and I'm not sure what your issue is. Maybe your jealous? Sure looks like it.

Swan21 · September 2011

I tend to think of sex as a barometer in my marriage. If everything is good and no ones sick we DOD just about everyday. Now that was different when I was pregnant or if someone is sick or something. I know H could go a long time without sex because we have been through deployments, but if there is no good reason I don't see a point in not doing it.

RayRay007 · September 2011

Well it's been about a year, so I guess we can go at least that long. Actually, it sucks and is starting to affect our marriage. But by the time DH is home and the kid's in bed I'm tired and no longer interested. I could get interested if he'd make a move, but he never does. He says it's because he thinks I don't want it, I tell him I'm tired, blah blah blah and if he'd try I could get in the mood, but he still doesn't try so I think he's not attracted to me etc. I would actually say it's been well over a year since we had spontaneous sex. For four months it was all about getting pg. Then I got pg. And at around 3 months I said, You know, we are allowed to have sex. So we had forced, no good, sex. And that was the last time. Yikes. I should force myself to jump him when he gets home. Sorry for the rant.

Titts McGeee · September 2011

RayRay007:
I should force myself to jump him when he gets home. Sorry for the rant.

Do it! Getting back into it is the hardest!

JnDbaby4us · September 2011

H can go a lot longer than me. The last month I was pregnant, I was pretty much begging for it. I can go about 1 week then I get annoyed that he doesn't pick up on my cues.

Everyone is different. I just wish that my sex drive was like before.

Calla123 · September 2011

A couple of weeks....but usually just a few days.

RoninSirPuppyPup · September 2011

JnDbaby4us:
H can go a lot longer than me. The last month I was pregnant, I was pretty much begging for it. I can go about 1 week then I get annoyed that he doesn't pick up on my cues.
Everyone is different. I just wish that my sex drive was like before.

I'm actually glad mine has slowed down a bit. H and I were having sex every.single.day without fail. Sometimes multiple times a day. Things slowed down when I started getting bigger during pregnancy. After LO came I just didn't care either way. If he wanted to I would, if he didn't whatever. Ha, if he didn't ya right.

I'm JUST getting my sex drive back at 8 months PP. Except now H's back is hurt and he can't .

Intimacy is great, but alone, not a long term alternative sex. Luckily I think we'll be getting back in the game soon.

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