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s/o TTC.... POLL: Telling People You're Pregnant
When do you tell your closest friends or family (or both) that you're pregnant?
[Poll]
[Poll]
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Re: s/o TTC.... POLL: Telling People You're Pregnant
I am just a more private person in that respect. I don't tell people when we are TTC either.
If something were to go wrong, chances are I would eventually tell my closest friends and family what happened. But once you've already told them you are PG, you kind of have to tell them right away. I hate that feeling - I want to do it on my own time. I am also weird in that I kind of hate the pity feeling from people
ETA - by pity feeling I mean that I am somewhat uncomfortable with people feeling sorry for me, if that makes sense.
DS 3.12.08
DD 7.11.09
DD 8.01.13
I said we tell right away but it really depends. I have like 3-4 good friends who usually know that we're trying and they tend to find out pretty close to right away (some are out of town friends so it depends when I next call them). My family usually finds out on the next convenient occasion since they're also out of town and therefore it's easy to not tell them and save it for a special occasion, it's usually still within the first several weeks that we know. I also don't tell my family that we're trying because they'll get their hopes up etc, friends are different in that way.
Initially we told only our parents and my sisters, and I told 2 of my best girl friends - so only 8 people. That was the week of my BFP. Everyone else - Aunts, Uncles, Good friends - we waited until 13 weeks.
I don't like the idea of having to explain to everyone if something went wrong.
DD2: Lucia (Lucy) 07/13
We told right away with DD, because we were so shocked (tried for 2 years and DD was on a non-medicated cycle, a total "oops!")
With the next one, I'll probably tell close friends and family right when we find out.
I have had 2 close friends lose pregnancies right at the 12 week mark...and I know for a fact that they both won't tell until after they've had several good Dr visits now. Just too nervous and don't want to have to tell everyone about another m/c.
We told our parents the day we got our BFP every time. We told family and friends at 6 weeks when we found out with DS.
When I got pregnant the 2nd time we told family and friends at 7 weeks after I had my first OB appt. I told someone at work and the word spread. I then had a m/c at 9weeks and it was difficult having to tell people. We also dealt with some negative comments from people before I had the m/c because DS was only 6 months old. Those two things made us wait when we got pg with DD.
We waited until I was 13weeks to tell any friends/work when I got pregnant with DD.
i was 5ish weeks with both pregnancies (within a week after bfp). few reasons i've told early
1 - i'd never be able to keep my mouth shut, and neither would dh
2 - hiding pregnancy symptoms is hard with m/s, food aversions, etc
3 - i don't think i could ever keep a m/c secret from close friends and family, so there's no point in hiding a pg from them just in case something bad were to happen
Cam 6.6.10 - Autism, Global Developmental Delay, Mixed Receptive/Expressive Communication Disorder
with my first I told everyone almost right away, then I had allot of issues with DD and almost lost her and it was very stressful and I wished I would have waited to tell everyone bc it made everything harder with all the questions.
This time around we wait till about 11 weeks, it was so less stress
I don't tell people IRL that we are TTC. Although I do here!
My first pregnancy (with DD), I told my sister the day I got a faint BFP. We told my parents 2 weeks later. We told close friends a week or two later, and then a few more, and then a few more. I never make a fb announcement or anything...just told people gradually.
While TTC #2, my mom and sister have heard way too many details and know too much. I am trying to stop telling them everything I think/experience on this topic! So they have know within moments of me knowing anything...and sometimes when suspecting. Man, that is obnoxious!
So, as a said, I am trying to change a bit. I don't want to tell anyone (family) until 6ish weeks, I don't think. I have just had two experiences where I had multiple BFPs on different test on different days, and then after missing AF a BFN and AF. I have got to get out of my head and stop testing early and just relax and role with it. Ugh. I don't need to get and share information that early with my family - just need to relax and wait and see until about 6ish weeks.
I have a lot of opinions on a lot of things but not one on this - i completely see both sides.
With #1-no one knew we were even TTC. I didnt tell a soul until 13 weeks, not even parents. I've had friends/family members experience m/c before, and they've always mentioned "un-telling" people was the worst part about it. My parents experienced a pregnancy loss before I was born, and I didnt want to get their hopes up then have to tell them it didnt work out. Plus, I'm the type that would prefer to grieve the loss of a pregnancy between only my DH and I, and not with family/friends. That's just too personal for me.
#2-we told at 10 weeks, as we had an ultrasound by that point that showed a strong HB and it was father's day. Friends/family knew that we were planning on kids close together, but didnt think it would be THAT close. haha.
I told my parents, sister and close friends immediately.
The way I look at it is, if God forbid anything happened, I would tell those people about it anyway.
Until we announced we never let anyone know we were so much as thinking about having kids, let alone that we had been actively trying for six months and been having unprotected sex for a year prior to that. We felt it was no one's business but ours and my doctor's. I did not want to find myself in the uncomfortable position of announcing a loss, or fielding "are you pregnant yet?" comments indefinitely, so we decided to keep TTC and my pregnancy a secret until my 1st tri was over.
Mes Petit Choux
I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then. ~ Alice
Coming from someone who has lost two babies, here is my 2 cents.
We told right away until the first miscarriage. After that we decided to wait until after the first trimester, well then we lost this last one at 15 wks.
Basically, you are never completely "safe" from losing a baby during pregnancy. I'm glad we told everyone because we have had an outpouring of support during what is a painful time. We have nothing to be ashamed of, and there is no reason to go through the grief alone.
That being said, I did a big ol' Facebook announcement -- and I would never do that again. It is one thing to have to "untell" my friends and family, another altogether to have that chick you haven't seen since 7th grade asking how the pregnancy is coming along.
I chose not until after the first tri, but that's not 100% true.
With both PGs, I told my sister the night I POAS. She's the person I'm closest to, next to DH. I have to be on blood thinning shots as soon as a heartbeat is confirmed (usually around 7-8 weeks) so after confirmation of the HB we told my parents, my MIL, & my brother & his wife. Last time we also told our closest couple friend mainly because we were going on and I wasn't drinking, which would be obvious.
We then wait until 12 weeks to tell everyone else.