My kindergartener started school on the 1st. I know it has been only a short time but he has told me everyday after school that other kids have finished their rainbow and he can't seem to. (he does have two colors). When they make good choices they get a color, then when they complete the rainbow they get a prize. I have asked him why he thinks he isn't getting anymore colors and he says he doesn't know. I asked him if he is getting in trouble or time outs and he says no. So last night I told him he should ask his teacher what else he can do to get more colors. Was that the right thing to do? If he was having problems in class already she would contact me right? Should I contact her about his concerns?
Re: If you have a child in kindergarten or older
I would see if you could email and ask about the rainbow thing. Just tell her that your DS is worried about completing his rainbow, and is there anything he should be doing.
If it were me, I would contact, and also take the opportunity to introduce yourself to teacher.
It doesn't sound like he's misbehaving, he just hasn't done things above and beyond what's expected (doing something nice w/o being asked, things like that). Just my take on it. Also, some quieter kids who are not causing any problems may not get as much attention as those who are creating problems. Hopefully not the case but having seen K classes I know that the more disruptive kids definitely tend to get the teacher's attention (not in a good way).
Has the teacher given them examples of what good choices she expects? It couldn't hurt to ask her. I don't think you'd be seen as that parent for asking about it.
I have a 1st and 3rd grader and my first grader came home yesterday saying she moved up to star (it was their first day of school). I asked her what she did to move up to star and she said she pushed 2 chairs in and picked up a pencil w/o being asked.
I'm a teacher. My guess would be that he needs to go above and beyond to get colors (not completely sure, but that sounds right). Make sure you haven't already received something that explains the system (maybe in a parent handbook) and if not it would be fine to contact the teacher and say something like, "My son keeps talking about a rainbow, what's the deal with that?" Don't ask how he can get more, or act like you think he's in trouble, just ask her to explain the system.
Then you can talk with your son and say, "It sounds like in order to get colors you need to help out extra in the classroom. What are some things you could do?" Then brainstorm with him so he has some ideas. See how that goes.
I think that you handled it very well for now. I agree with PPs that it sounds like he not only need to behave but also go above and beyond to get colors. I think encouraging him to ask what he can do to get more colors was perfect because that teaches him to problem solve and take control of the situation. I think that is how I would have handled it myself.
Now if he asks and is still confused or feels he should be getting more colors and isn't then I would contact the teacher just to figure out where the disconnect is. In my experience teachers really appreciate it when a parent communicates with them. You not one of "those" parents just for being involved and active. I think people that make excuses for their child and feel that their child should be treated differently (special) than other children are the ones that are "those" parents.