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October 2011 Moms
tanad85
member
Who gives a gift and then asks to borrow it???
tanad85
member
So... my neighbor bought my swing off my registry and it arrived at my house last week.
Over the weekend my neighbor came over to tell me she was going to start watching her infant grandson twice a week beginning after Labor Day.
THEN she asked if she could borrow the swing!
I was in shock and stuttered and said, "well, um, um, we just got it in the mail and it's not even set up yet" (thinking she'd get the hint).
My neighbor replied, "that's ok, I don't mind putting it together."
WTF??? Now I have been avoiding my neighbor because I don't want her to ask me when she can come pick it up. I am a very picky person and I DO NOT want another child in my unborn child's swing!
Who buys a gift and then asks to borrow it???? WHO DOES THAT??
Any suggestions on how to tell her no without being mean...?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Who gives a gift and then asks to borrow it???
DMoney will be a kickass big sister
this.
She sucks - but you know - there is no good way for you to say no. She was under no obligation to buy you a gift. And with her attitude about it, she probably shouldn't have.
You really want a war with your neighbor? Then say no and have her talk trash about you to the other neighbors. Or you could just give it to her, buy your own swing, and be secure that at leat YOU have good manners and know what the right thing is.
DMoney will be a kickass big sister
Honestly, I have no idea what I'd say. Can you move? LOL
Seriuously though, that's just tacky. Tell her that you understand why she would want to borrow it, but that you want to use it NEW for your LO. That you're not comfortable with another baby using ot before your LO does. It's your swing, not her's, regardless of who paid for it.
I agree with this. I know it was a gift but this woman obviously has no concept of what a gift is and how rude she is being. I would just tell her that you don't want to share LO's things and that you don't want to loan it out. If she feels entitled to it because she bought it, then she can have it and you will just get something else. Good luck. What a freak!!!
Burned by the Bear
I agree.
She's obviously tacky and rude, so you kind of need to be direct with her - being subtle gets you nowhere with these kinds of people - they are that dense. Just say that you're not comfortable lending your swing out to other people especially since your baby has not even used it yet, and thank her again for such a generous gift and you'll let her know how your baby likes it, in case she wants to purchase one for her grandson.
Or, lie and tell her you took it to your mom's/MIL's/etc. so the baby could use it while visiting there. SORRY!
BFP 1/18/11, EDD 10/1/11. Born at 37w5d on 9/15/11.
***BFP Chart***
"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.
Make a pregnancy ticker
I have to disagree with those saying to hand it over and buy another one. That might seem like a solution in the short-term, but what happens when you have your baby and your neighbour kindly tries to give you back the swing? You tell her to keep her gift? It would seem ruder to me, and far worse for neighbourly relations to go that route.
Personally, I'd just let her borrow it, and say half-jokingly, "As long as it's back once baby comes! We'll be relying on it then!" Then she feels like her gift is good and useful, and it gives her a time-line so you don't feel bad asking about it later. If you get it back and it's gross or you still feel strongly about the fact that another baby has used it, THEN go out and buy a new swing, stealthily selling the now used one on Craigslist or something.
Good idea! I like this!
And I was wondering the same thing about it being a mutal gift for both of us! Lol. I left out a small detail in the first story - she purchased it with another neighbor - so it wasn't just a gift she bought for me herself. I bet the other neighbor that went in with her on the gift would be furious. Oh, and this neighbor is a family friend of my in-laws and I don't want to tell my MIL because I know she'd get into a fight with the neighbor about it.
Thanks for your help!
I wonder what she is going to do once your LO arrives...does she plan on buying a swing for her house then?...Or is she planning to share it with you then? That is just a weird situation. I would express much gratitude up front for her buying the swing for you and then politely say that you would rather the swing be unused for when your LO arrives...say something about how you are worried with it being flu season and sharing things with other babies or some crap.
I'm sure if she tries to say something about it to other neighbors, they will see how weird she is for asking as well.
ETA: It is YOUR swing...the lady bought it as a gift and GAVE IT TO YOU. You should feel no obligation to allow her to use it. If she wanted a swing, she should have bought herself one also.
after anovulatory diagnosis and TTC for 1 1/2yrs with several medicated cycles and one chemical pregnancy, we have our first bundle of joy!
IT'S A GIRL!
#2 EDD 2/5/13 dx with anti-BIG E antibody, seeing a MFM
I don't take one single minute for granted.
Poo-splosion is GREAT! When I see her I'll def. use this!
hahah
"We aren't really comfortable loaning it out since LO isn't here yet and we will be using it soon, but if you need one I saw some nice swings on craigslist"
I wouldn't worry about her being pissed, honestly who that she tells this story to would think its okay for her to make such a request?
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." -- Dale Carnegie
"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." --Thomas A. Edison