Tempted to throw in the towel

AmandaMacD · September 2011

I can't believe that I am saying this, but I am pretty sure our TTC#2 journey is coming to an end. We have a few more weeks to decide whether or not to do another IVF in November, but I don't really want to. To be honest, I am so done with TTC all together. I am so sick of having sex on command and stressing every month about when I O, if I'm pregnant, running to the RE, taking injections, mornings with the dildo cam, etc. I just want to stop thinking about this and get on with my life. I am already blessed beyond anything I ever imagined and it is just getting hard to even imagine having another child. DH says we should give it 6 more months and he is ok with doing an IVF or without. I am ok with calling it quits in January. By calling it quits, I mean IUD put in and thats it. I couldn't handle the temptation.

This ART break has been so liberating and I can only imagine how much better I would feel if we just call it quits. Am I crazy?

MySweetBaboo · September 2011

You aren't crazy at all. We have decided not to go through with ART and are actively trying thru the end of the year.

If it doesn't happen, I am still hoping for a miracle, so while I will be throwing out the BBT, the Monitor and the OPKs we will continue unprotected until my 38th birthday and then dh can get snipped (I tell him I don't know why he would bother, lol). Ever since the RE and the HSG I've just been really at peace with whatever happens. Like you, I am truly blessed and so sick of the routine.

((hugs)) and best of luck!! Miracles do happen!

JMay · September 2011

I know how you feel. No offense to anyone at all, but I feel sometimes like I'm standing still on a highway - everyone, even those with "slow engines" is blowing right by me. I'm tired of trying, tired of hoping, tired of missing the life I have while waiting for the life I wanted. Your feelings are normal - this is exhausting. I did tell one person about coming to the end of the road, and DH getting a snip, and the reaction was hugely negative. But for me, I can't continue to hope for it and I know I will. With a snip, we wash our hands of any possibility and move forward with our lives. A difficult decision, but totally understandable. We're with you as you make your decision!

angelakh · September 2011

I am in the same place. I know we haven't tried nearly everything we could, but I need to start getting to a good place again. I just can't take the disappointment anymore or throwing money at ttc anymore. When I turn 40 dh is getting snipped, so we have roughly 4 years for #2 to happen on it's own. I feel like I am missing out on so much enjoyment with dd because ttc #2 is taking over our lives.

GL in your decision.

sgrobste · September 2011

I do not think that you are crazy at all. I have to admit that I often have the same thoughts...I imagine my life as it use to be...and the person I use to be and I miss that person. I think that this sucks the life out of you and at some point it gets to the point where we feel if we continue, it may break us. I

AmandaMacD · September 2011

I'm so sorry that we are all in this boat, but it sure is nice to know we aren't alone. Thanks for the support ladies! Hopefully, we all get out of this place and to where we should be ASAP!

Pixiestx · September 2011

I'm sorry your break from ART hasn't lead to success yet

I think you sound like you are in a good place after taking a step back from the process.

choirgirl · September 2011

I so hear you!

Once again, Jenna more perfectly expressed my sentiments.

It's funny, today is day one of my last IUI (another one tomorrow). And that is it.

I'm giving the big triumvirate of God, the Universe and my body one more go with all the tools we can use. One more big go. Today and tomorrow. This has to work.

And if it doesn't, then I will find out someday, down the road, why, because there must be a reason that only God and the Universe know.

I feel so happy going into today. So free!

MaybeMore · September 2011

It's not crazy. I was just coming to accept the fact that DS might be an only when I finally got KU w/DD.

Less stress for me in some ways because my cycles were so long.

cairolio · September 2011

I have been there. I was there when I got pregnant naturally (which, sadly, ended at 20 weeks) and then after that loss I was obsessed again - which resulted in an FET and my current pregnancy. I know just how you are feeling and when I turned that corner I felt FREE!

Sunnyface5 · September 2011

I am right there with you girlfriend!! I also can't handle all of the disapointment! It's been exhausting and has taken over my life. We've been through 5 IUIs, 3 miscarriages, a surgery and other procedures. Lately when i've been walking into the doctor's office i feel like i am going to faint. My body, mind and heart feels almost at breaking point.

We are doing one more IUI and considering one IVF round as a "last shot". If that doesn't work, at least I know I did all I could and I think I will be at peace. I just want to get on with my life. We have put alot on hold while going through this.

Good luck! I am just trying to pray as much as I can to help me find the strength and guidance on what to do. I will pray for all of you also tonight...while I can't sleep obsessing over this!

shashibiya · September 2011

Am I crazy?

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