Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: C-section and scar with #2
Do you mean only during pregnancy or during a second c-section surgery, too?
I think it's probably different for everyone, but for me:
(I have the low uterine scars-)
Pregnancy- I was worried about it, but I didn't notice any difference in my outward scar. Every once in a blue moon I would feel a little twinge if I got up quickly from bed in the morning, but I don't know if that's just because I was paranoid or not. I was scared it would stretch out and scary me to death, but it really doesn't stretch much there at all- if at all. (I'm sure this isn't true for the classical vertical cut, though, obviously- That would probably terrify me!)
2nd c-section surgery- Turns out my inward scar was great, too. The doctor said I looked excellent in there. And....I didn't expect this, but my scar actually looks so much better now. ( And I never minded it the way it was.) It's looks like a little pencil line now.
Oh, okay. If you have the low uterine scar, your chances of rupture aren't very high. I don't know the exact numbers anymore, but as long as you are careful, it is safe.
There's a chance with any option and I think that, statistically, it is still a little safer for baby if you RCS (especially if you wait til at least 39 weeks) and a little safer for mom if you VBAC. (And comparing the two, it is a little safer for mom to RCS than baby to VBAC, statistically, which is why doctors will lean towards it.)
But, things have started to change now from the way the statistics came to be....such as, induction isn't as common or if it is done, it is done mildly and very carefully. My doctors refused to do any kind of induction.
But I came to these conclusions through lots of reading and research, so I don't know if I could even point to one place. But I think the ACOG guidelines on VBAC should help you, if you look there!
It is possible to check the scar thickness, but I don't think that's normal. We never looked at it during my pregnancy, and there were plenty of opportunities (extra scans due to high risk of heart problems).
My visible scar turned bright red during pregnancy but it went back to "normal" not too long after delivery. You can't tell by looking at it that I ever got pregnant again or not. It did occasionally itch but it wasn't painful or scary in any way.
The chance of uterine rupture is either 4 or 7 in 1000, depending on which study you look at. In other words, very low. Your OB can help you decide whether you are a good candidate or not. Be sure to find a VBAC friendly OB or midwife if that's what you want to shoot for.
OP--the information people have posted here are pretty inconsistent and I highly recommend doing some of your own research about what is best for you and your next baby. From my research I've found uterine rupture (UR) risk to be only 1-2% depending on the study. The risks to a baby during a VBAC generally only have to do with UR, vacuum or clamp extraction, or are from inductions. There are a lot more risks for a mom going through a RCS, plus the recovery time is usually a LOT harder and longer than a VBAC.
Start googling and getting books at the library! Here are a few good solid sites to start you off:
https://vbacfacts.com/
https://www.ican-online.org/
This. My Dr said there is a 1% chance of UR - but getting pregnanct within a year of the c/s would make me ineligible for VBAC because it increases the chance of UR. Lots of women have been doing VBACs for years - my Aunt had one in 1982! If it's something you really want, then do your own research and make sure you are able to make an educated decision. I think the risk to baby and mom in a VBAC is the same - a UR is not good for either. RCS have lots of additional risks - mostly just for the mother. It is major surgery. And recovery can be hell (mine was pretty bad).