Parenting after a Loss

Anyone changed their mind on how many LOs you

hope to have since your current LO was born?
BFP #1 9/23/09. Missed MC 10w3d D&C 11/3/09.

BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10

BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15


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Re: Anyone changed their mind on how many LOs you

  • I think I have.

    I'm pretty sure one and done is what I want to be. I was open to two before. I don't think I am anymore.

    H says I will change my mind when B sleeps through the night and outgrows this fussy thing. But I really don't think I will. 

    BFP #1 9/23/09. Missed MC 10w3d D&C 11/3/09.

    BFP #2 4/13/10. Bridget born 12/28/10

    BFP #3 Finn born 8/11/15


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  • Yep, I wanted 2 or 3. I am now content with Mikko.
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  • I didn't really. A has been a pretty easy baby, thankfully. I am scared to death of having a hard baby, though. That's the only thing making me think one is enough. But, I don't know what a future baby will be like so I don't want to stop considering it just because I may have a hard baby, KWIM?
    I married a ginger.
    m/c 12/25/09 (5w5d) mm/c D&C 4/9/10 (11w1d) Take home baby 2/22/11
    My boobies belong to cour10e
  • I always wanted two children.  I still want two, but if we don't have another, I would be okay with that.   

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • We would love 6 kids in all. I highly doubt unless something changes money wise we will be able to have that many.

    4 is our current wish and we would like them all pretty close in age. 

    BFP #1 10/28/09 EDD 06/24/10- Miscarriage 11/2/09
    BFP #2 11/30/09 EDD 08/12/10- Sophia Grace born 8/1/10
    BFP #3 11/16/10 EDD 08/04/11- Samuel Richard born 7/28/11
    BFP #4 01/04/12 EDD 09/19/12- Simon Nathaniel born 9/6/12
    BFP #5 03/27/13 EDD 11/25/13- Savannah Lee born 11/18/13
  • If anything it's made me want more kids. DH and I thought we wanted around 5, but ohmygoodness do I love my baby.

    Also, my DD is a super high needs baby (needs to be held ALL the time, fussy, bad sleeper, etc. etc.) so I'm convinced that it'll never be this hard again. Even if all my other kids are this hard, I'll be a pro. 

    ♥ mm/c 2/6/2010 ♥ lydia 4/28/2011 ♥ c/p 10/25/2011 ♥ edd 2/23/2012
  • imagejodyrm:

    If anything it's made me want more kids. DH and I thought we wanted around 5, but ohmygoodness do I love my baby.

    Also, my DD is a super high needs baby (needs to be held ALL the time, fussy, bad sleeper, etc. etc.) so I'm convinced that it'll never be this hard again. Even if all my other kids are this hard, I'll be a pro. 

    That is a great way to look at it. I always wanted a brood, but now I'm not so sure. S is also very high needs, so I'm not sure how I could handle more than one, much less three or four. DH seems like he would be content to stop at one.

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  • imageSonadora:

    I think I have.

    I'm pretty sure one and done is what I want to be. I was open to two before. I don't think I am anymore.

    H says I will change my mind when B sleeps through the night and outgrows this fussy thing. But I really don't think I will. 

    You might, but you might not.  For us, I was on the fence about 2 until Lilly was about 18 mos old.  Then I wanted another - but DH held out for another year.  I'm glad he did - the kiddos have 3 1/2 years between them and it was a good split for us.

    When my son was born, I was done.  It wasn't until our surprise pregnancy that the idea of a third sounded good - by the time I'd come to terms with the fact that we were having 3 kids, that pregnancy was over.  Now that Elsa's here, I'm glad we have her - but I don't necessarily recommend a 3-child family to a lot of people.  I'm pretty certain we're done, though DH and I haven't made any permanent decisions yet.   

  • We always wanted four... then we had one, and said we'd play it by ear after that ;)  The only definite for us was that we absolutely wanted a second.  Now that we have two, we're pretty sure we're going to want a third, but seeing as how we're only three weeks in to having to kids - we're going to need a little more time to make a decision for sure :) 
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  • I still want more babies maybe 2 more but I am afraid of repeating what I went through with LO.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Premature Baby tickers
    BFP #1 - 04/09/10 -- m/c - 07/02/10 @ 20weeks and 3 days. D&C 07/02/2010 - EDD 11/16/10
    BFP #2 12/17/10 please stick turtle. EDD 8/29/11 - Emergency C-Section 7-2-11. Andrew's journey
    Congratulations to my TTCAL buddy Carolee on her BFP! Stick, baby!
    Congratulations to elbandas09, cherylanddoug, tctibbe(MsPegees) and alliejoe for their take home babies!
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  • We both wanted two.  LO is making a strong argument for being an only child, but we'll probably have another.
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  • imagehopingwaiting:
    We both wanted two.  LO is making a strong argument for being an only child, but we'll probably have another.
    This exactly, I 'think' I still want another but going thru these times with DS makes me reconsider. Also my age plays a role if we have another also.....
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    bfp 01/23/10 m/c 12w1d 03/14/10 EDD 09/24/10
    bfp 07/20/10 m/c 5w1d 07/25/10
    bfp 11/19/10 Born 07/24/11 via C/S

    My Forever Sister From Another Mister~CashewsMommy!!

  • Definitely... Before we started our TTC journey I wanted 3 or 4. But after 9 months or morning sickness, migraines, Lovenox injections, and PIH I've come to the conclusion I suck at being pregnant.

    DS is a super high needs baby. I'm terrified not just of having another high needs, but of having a baby that is actually worse.

    We'll definitely try to have one more. If it's a girl we are done. If it's a boy we will probably be done, but we may get crazy and reckless a few years down the road. flame away- but I pray the next is a girl so i can have a tubal and be done!

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  • We said 2.  Within days of my first child being born, I knew I wanted 3.

    We have 4 and we are done. 

  • I keep going back and forth. Part of me is done because I don't want to risk another loss, but at the same time, I want Lucas to have a sibling.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • I originally wanted 2, but I love DD so much that I think I want 4.  DH seems content with just one, but I'm hoping to ttc next summer.  He told me that he is afraid the next baby won't be as good as DD is.  DD is actually a high needs baby so I'm not worried.
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  • During my pregnancy I really thought that I would be okay with having three and then after having Sullivan I realized nope, I would still like one more.  Kinda crazy since I'm turning 40 in October, we've had the two losses and none of my prengancies have been easy (morning sickness all 9 months, lovenox, blood clot, thyroid issues, heartrate issues, etc.).

    We have a frozen embryo and will do a FET perhaps in the spring and if that doesn't work then I'm not sure we'll pursue more fertility treatments but we will probably cross our fingers and hope we get pregnant on our own.

    Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12

    Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck.  Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.

    This Cluttered Life

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