Sometimes I feel like DH...

sophiet496 · September 2011

doesn't really like us, meaning Lucas and I. We both work full-time, so I was sooo excited for a long weekend. But DH spent most of Saturday and all day yesterday saying how bored he was. Today he ditched us to go play poker.

I'm just so content these days hanging out with LO, doing whatever...playing outside, going on bike rides, to the park, walking the dogs. I guess I'm past the point of needing huge social plans to make my weekend fun. To me, just being with my family is fun. But DH seems to need to be doing all kinds of things to be happy. I kind of took it personally when he kept saying he was bored.

I do have PMS...am I being overly sensitive?!

LSzwaya · September 2011

I could see how that could hurt your feelings. But I do sometimes get bored and the day to day does get a little bit routine. What about planning a fun day out as a family?

ToastieSimons · September 2011

ehh...I was totally bored yesterday. I just wasn't in the mood to sit in the house (however DS has been sick for almost a week and we've been in the house all day and up with him all night screaming) so we went out as a family.

Is your DH on board for spending time together as a family? If so, I wouldn't be hurt especially if him going out solo is a rarity. If he seems to always be somewhere else and not up for family time, I'd be talking to him.

Kingston54 · September 2011

I don't think you're overly sensitive. I'd tell him how you feel. Tell him you really look forward to spending time with him and your LO. Ask him if there's any activities you can do as a family that would make the day more fun for him. Maybe your DH isn't a sit around and hang kind of guy - he might need something to "do" to enjoy his time with you guys.

celiabwatson · September 2011

I totally just had this conversation with my husband. I've been feeling for a while like he'd rather be other places and that being home with us is a bit of a chore. I didn't realize I was feeling this way until today when he asked if he could go play with his friends. I said no because he'd been napping all morning and I wanted him to stay here with us. One thing led to another and through the conversation I realized it wasn't about me not wanting him to go, it was about me being sad that he didn't want to stay.

Anyway, I told him how I was feeling and he apologized for making me feel that way and he's staying home. He's upset now because he hates making me upset and he holds onto emotions for far longer than I do.

AbsoluteLM · September 2011

celiabwatson:
I totally just had this conversation with my husband. I've been feeling for a while like he'd rather be other places and that being home with us is a bit of a chore. I didn't realize I was feeling this way until today when he asked if he could go play with his friends. I said no because he'd been napping all morning and I wanted him to stay here with us. One thing led to another and through the conversation I realized it wasn't about me not wanting him to go, it was about me being sad that he didn't want to stay.
Anyway, I told him how I was feeling and he apologized for making me feel that way and he's staying home. He's upset now because he hates making me upset and he holds onto emotions for far longer than I do.

This is exactly my husband. He'd also rather be on the computer of his iPhone than pay real attention to DS--unless I force him, that is. I find a lot of men are like this, though, so I try hard not to get upset. But... I usually do end up upset! I just don't want DS feeling like his dad didn't spend enough time with him when he gets older... sigh. Unwinnable fight?

sophiet496 · September 2011

Thanks ladies for yourt support. I guess we do need to make some more exciting plans...but also, talk. When I read absoluteLM's response about DH always on the computer or phone....well it dawned on me that our issues go beyond being bored this weekend. I also feel like Lucas does NOT get enough quality time with his dad and it makes me really sad. My DH is always doing something else...hardly ever does he give more than 10 minutes of undivided attention to our son. He realizes this and says he just doesn't have the patience for it. I feel like that's such a cop-out. There is always something else I'd prefer to be doing, too, but we have a child who deserves present parents. I'm very frustrated and disappointed in my DH. I thought he would be an amazing dad. Honestly, this is a MAJOR reason I'm now balking at TTC #2. It sucks.

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