When (if ever) does dad-to-be show up?

Ms.Jade · September 2011

I'm drawing a blank on this. DH is (understandably) not thrilled about attending my all female baby shower. However I know a lot of husbands show up at the end or stay and greet the guests at the beginning. Which is more common? Does he come for gift opening or just show up at the end to say thank you and goodbye? Does he stay away altogether? Can someone walk me through dads at showers? Thanks!

heuy · September 2011

My hubs wouldn't be caught dead at the shower...it's just not him.

If your hubs doesn't want to go, why does he have to

Happily Overwhelmed · September 2011

I don't think it's a huge deal if he comes or not.

I always think it's nice with the father to be comes at the end to help load the gifts though! I think it's the least he can do. Most commonly (if the dad's show up) it's at the end to thank the guests as they are leaving and maybe enjoy a piece of cake.

Anything beyond that I often find awkward. If he's not excited to come don't make him sit in a room full of ladies as you're opening presents, etc.

laurynfaerie · September 2011

My DH is dropping me off at mine, and then afterwards, my mom will bring me home (I don't drive). No one expects him to make an appearance. Although I would really appreciate if I wasn't the only that has to sit through it. I hate being the centre of attention.

rhubarb123 · September 2011

Almost all of the showers that I've attended and hosted the DTB came toward the end...either at gift opening time or right at the end to help pack things up. Some didn't come at all and the MTB's friends and family packed things up. My DH did not come to any of my showers (I had 3)...not even to help pack up (the lazy guy!!).

jcole32444 · September 2011

My H was there the whole time. There were a lot of people from his family that I can never remember. So I really wanted him there. He was a bit overwhelmed by all the females but he had a good time.

BitsKD13 · September 2011

rhubarb123:
Almost all of the showers that I've attended and hosted the DTB came toward the end...either at gift opening time or right at the end to help pack things up.

This!

Ms.Jade · September 2011

heuy:
My hubs wouldn't be caught dead at the shower...it's just not him.
If your hubs doesn't want to go, why does he have to

He certainly doesn't have to. I don't care either way. But this is my first baby and therefore my first baby shower so I wasn't sure what's customary.

Mrs_Est11.11.06 · September 2011

I have sent DTB come at the end of the shower, but if the DTB's family throws the shower it ends up being more co-ed which is ok with me I dont know a lot of their extended family and friends.

EvenAngelsFall · September 2011

My DH (and father, FIL, and brother) will be there the whole time.... but in the bar attached to the restaurant watching football, not really part of the *shower* itself.

pam1005 · September 2011

My husband never went to any of my showers. He did come at the very end of one to help load up gifts, but he was never present at any of them.

EastCoastBride · September 2011

I've never been to a shower where the dad is there at any point.

jjabs18 · September 2011

The plan is for DH to drop me off, possibly greet a guest or two while he is there and then he'll come back with my Dad and brother at the end to help load everything up to bring back to our house.

KAWalker11 · September 2011

I left that decision up to DH. He wants to be involved, so he will be there the entire time.

Mrs. Holley · September 2011

I am technically not having sa co-ed shower, but my DH is coming. I told him that this shower is for the both of us and he doesnt mind. My dad, brothers, and a couple of DH's friends are coming to hang out with him at the shower and have a few drinks. (we live out of town)

GranolaGirl06 · September 2011

RedheadBaker:
In my family, the Dad-to-Be usually drops off the guest of honor, and then comes back about 30 minutes before the shower is over, to help pack up the gifts and say thanks to the guests for the gifts.

This is exactly what we do too. We did it for our bridal shower and will be doing it for our baby shower too. He comes in the last half hour to make an appearance, thanks everybody for the gifts and for coming, and then helps load all the gifts into the car for me. Not to mention, the hosts appreciate him coming to help carry stuff out to their cars while they are cleaning up. I think it's a nice touch and shows the guests (and hosts) he appreciates them and what they have done.

anonomity · September 2011

My DH is the same way. He also hates being the center of attention and opening gifts in front of people, so showers are basically his worst nightmare. Wink At my shower he just showed up after the festivities were officially over and while we were all cleaning up, mainly so he could load gifts into our car.

However, I have also been to showers where the dad-to-be showed up to help open gifts and could greet/thank guests at that time. I would say either way, whatever you are comfortable with, is just fine!

varkeyr · September 2011

There is no hard or fast rule. If he wants to it would be nice and helpful to show up at the end, but I wouldn't pressure him to do it. Most men I know view showers of all kinds as for the girls. In fact most guys I know call showers "hen parties."

sagoon · September 2011

My husband will be there for the entire shower. His mother is throwing it and half the guests will be his female relatives (some of whom I have never met). My father-in-law will probably be present as well.

asyph107 · September 2011

I have seen showers where the DTB drops off the MTB, he greets people and then leaves for a few hours and will come back to pick up the MTB and help with presents. That has been most common thing I have seen. My DH did not drop me off but came towards the end to say hello to everyone, thank them, and help with gifts.

l&s&baby · September 2011

I would have him show up at the end to say a quick hello and help you with the gifts. He won't want to be there for the gift opening and girlie games and stuff, so don't make him. Get him excited to pick you up by promising to save some yummy treats!

erosa · September 2011

I disagree with some responses. I definitely think he needs to show up, at some point. You BOTH will be receiving hundrds of dollars in gifts that you BOTH won't have to buy. It's not just ur kid. My husband was at my entire shower, but then again, he doesn't really have any insecurities about being the only man in a room full of women. He understood that the show was for OUR son.

Ms.Jade · September 2011

Thanks everyone for the responses. DH is open to whatever except staikcing around the entire time (not his style) and I was basically wondering if there was consensus about what usually happens. Looks like there's not.

He's decided to come in the beginning to help my sister and SIL set up and then take off for a bit with my brother and BIL. He'll come back toward the end. We will have plenty of people there to help load gifts so even if he didn't come back that would be take care of. I just wanted to make sure we weren't being rude and that he's comfortable. Thanks!

cikangell · September 2011

DH will be spending the shower "playing" with the husbands of the two friends hosting. I think they're taking him to laser tag or paintball or something. He'll be brought back to the shower at the end, and can greet guests or not as he so chooses. He'll definitely help load the car, though..:o)

tracey0310 · September 2011

In my neck of the woods, the dad to be is present for the entire shower, just as he is for the entire wedding shower. I think this is a regional thing, but I've never attended a shower where that wasn't the case.

reason00 · September 2011

erosa:
I disagree with some responses. I definitely think he needs to show up, at some point. You BOTH will be receiving hundrds of dollars in gifts that you BOTH won't have to buy. It's not just ur kid. My husband was at my entire shower, but then again, he doesn't really have any insecurities about being the only man in a room full of women. He understood that the show was for OUR son.

And your son is cute!

My shower is co-ed, so my husband will be attending the entire time. I couldn't bare to think about my shower without my close guy friends, or brothers there.

wendyll64 · September 2011

Mine dropped me off, left to hang with his uncles for a bit, them returned to help us load up gifts and do a little mingling... it was mostly his family.

Ashley&Scott · September 2011

DH will be at my shower at the beginning. He'll greet guests & help carry in gifts if needed. Then he's going to lunch with his dad & BIL. They'll be back at the end to help clean up & say goodbye to the last few guests.

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