- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Babies: 3 - 6 Months
I think I'm falling out of love...
...with my dog. :-( I feel terrible. She really is just about the best dog you could hope for, but I think the stress of a new baby is really taking its toll on our relationship (heh). She never used to bark, but now she does constantly, and it's starting to drive me a little nuts. Last night was a particularly wakeful night with DS teething and wanting to comfort nurse a lot, I finally got him down around 3, and then the dog comes in around 5:30 and wakes us both up. I could have put her out on the street right then and there. Not to mention the shedding! I hate putting DS on the floor for tummy time or play time because it's always covered with dog hair and whatever dirt and tiny pebbles she dragged in from outside. I don't get to vacuum as much as I should because DS is terrified of the vacuum cleaner, for some reason. I know she's unhappy now, too. She used to be my baby, now she feels neglected. Don't get me wrong, we still take care of her fine, it's just a big change for her from being the center of attention to now just being the dog. She's kind of depressed. Sigh... I keep telling myself it will get easier once DS is actually able to play with her, that we had her first and she's part of the family too, and if I can''t handle a dog and a baby, how will I handle a toddler and a baby someday? But, man, the thought does enter my mind sometimes that we have a few friends who would love a dog like her. Somebody talk me out of it!
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I think I'm falling out of love...
I think that's pretty awful. You chose to be a dog owner. You made that commitment. This time where its inconvenient is relatively short if you think about it. How long did you have the dog before you got pregnant?
Vacuum more if you don't like the hair. Make the time. Have DH take your son on a walk.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
Our dog was the center of attention too before DD came along. We knew we were going to start "trying" last year (around April) and so we decided to get another dog to keep our first pup company in anticipation for the new center of attention. It made a huge difference even before we got pregnant. She stopped acting like a baby and started acting like a dog. She used to come to us to play and now she gets all of that social play time with our new dog. I think she is actually happier.
I know it sounds totally nuts but getting her a playmate made it easier for us! The baby has still been a big transition for them but, they are perfectly content with each other's company.
If you really don't want to get rid of your current dog, it is something to consider. Since you do have a LO, I would suggest adopting a nice adult (housebroken) dog, NOT a puppy. Possibly one that doesn't shed either. There are SO many nice dogs at shelters. I know you could find one that fits in your family.
I have read that the nicest thing you can do as a dog-owner is to get your dog a playmate. They are pack animals as you probably know.
Crazy idea, but it really helped us!
My EP'ing Blog
I agree. This is why there are so many awesome dogs sitting in shelters, because people like you think their dogs are disposable when suddenly they start to "drive you nuts." That's sad, and I kind of wish you would give your dog to friends who will love her forever, as a dog deserves.
FYI, DH works almost constantly. I don't really have the luxury of passing DS off on him whenever I want. I did decide to be a dog owner. Our lives were dramatically different back then. Also, I didn't say I was going to get rid of my dog. I acknowledged everything you said. It was mostly just a vent. I doubt you can honestly say you haven't felt overwhelmed at any point during motherhood.
i know it can be overwhelming. here's a link that describes our household perfectly now (we're cat owners)
https://crappypictures.typepad.com/crappy-pictures/2011/07/my-cat-before-after-kidsillustrated-with-crappy-pictures.html?cid=6a01538f62421f970b0153902f6f10970b#comment-6a01538f62421f970b0153902f6f10970b
Haha! That's perfect.
I have three cats. The thought hasn't even crossed my mind to get rid of any of them just because I've had a child. I work a lot and my husband is in school. I'm also the caretaker of a relative with cerebral palsy and he's living with me. Do I wish there wasn't cat hair everywhere? Of course but I wouldn't ever consider getting rid of the cats just because they shed or need attention.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
I could've written this post myself! There are some days I am so tempted to give her away but its not her fault. She has chewed LO's outfits, 3 binkies and countless pairs of socks. We need to run her around more but some days it just doesnt happen. I hope it gets easier for you..venting does help.
About the hair...we try to keep her off the rug/area where LO plays. It took weeks but now she doesnt even go near it.
I agree. I hate when people think that dogs are disposable.
My dog was my whole world before I had a baby. I do struggle some days to give him the attention he deserves, but I am sure as the baby gets older, it'll get easier.
I LOVE this haha.
You have to be careful posting stuff about being irritated with your dog/cat on here. Being irritated and fantasizing about getting rid of your dog is apparently the same thing as dropping it off at a shelter in the middle of the night.
Our dog was super annoying before we had a baby. She is a one-person dog, and that person is DH rather than me. She bites and growls and is essentially a little gremlin that someone didn't do a good job screening for aggression before we adopted her from the shelter. That being said, the only way I would seriously consider getting rid of her is if she bites DS. When she starts to have too much energy or is barking a lot, I am irritated, but know it's because she's not getting as much attention. We try to take her for more walks or play outside more often. I think things will get much better as the baby gets older. When he's old enough to play tug-of-war or fetch with her things will be great.
Our dog was having a hard time with the sudden decease in attention too. He started acting out, doing things he hasn't done since being a pup. I was losing my mind.
My neighbor has a ten year old son who loves my dog, and my dog loves him. DH and I asked our neighbor's son to come play with my dog after school whenever he wants. Now Milton (my dog) has someone to play with for about an hour almost every day. He is soooo much happier and isn't all hyper from being stuck inside with me and the girls all day.
Do you think you could find a neighbor kid to come play with your pup?
Geez people, calm down. This is a vent, not a declaration.
Having said that, I can understand the frustration, but I wouldn't rush to any decisions just yet. As you said- your feelings could change again once your LO is old enough to enjoy playing with your dog. Sounds like this is just some misplaced transference. You're still getting used to your son. I would try leaving him with your husband and taking the dog for a walk on your own, for example, and just focus on the positive. :-)
Aquarian Mommmy Blog
it's totally me, too. someone needs to invent cat underwear.
I have 2 dogs. I hate the shedding. I hate when they bark at the mailman and wake LO up from a nap. I hate that I can't just plop LO on the floor and run to the bathroom becuase I have to watch him with the dogs. I hate that I can't walk 2 dogs and a baby at the same time by myself. I get it! But I love my dogs *almost* as much as I love my son. And I really hope it stays that way. I feel very sorry for you, but will try not to judge.
I have had those frustrations too.
We have 4 cats, and unfortunately (or fortunately?) they are super clingy. Before the LO was born, I was able to give them my undivided attention, but now that our daughter takes so much of my attention, that when I have a moment to myself--I just want to be alone
Our cats don't sleep in our room or the baby's room. However, one of them is less than thrilled with the arrangement. As long as she doesn't see us in the middle of the night, she is fine. However, since our daughter is in her room, if I have to go to her in the middle of the night, and our cat sees me--she will spend HOURS crying at the door.
So frustrating some days!
I have a somewhat high energy lab, and I can understand that it gets overwhelming at times. Giving her exercise has been the biggest help by far. When the weather is decent, I take the kids and the dog for a walk together. She walks very well on a gentle leader and next to the stroller. DH takes her for runs a few times per week as well. Thankfully she is not as energetic as she used to be, but she still needs some stimulation.
It has gotten easier in some respects. Today my girls laughed their butt off watching me throw a ball for the dog. Watching her play was the funniest thing on earth to them. Every so often she gives them kisses and it's super sweet. I do get overwhelmed, but I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. They are already forming a bond that I had with my dog when I was a kid.
With a dog and 4 cats, there is hair everywhere no matter how much I vacuum. It happens. It's not the end of the world. Take a deep breath and see if there are some interactive toys or things you can do to make the dog's life a bit more interesting. Hide treats or buy a puzzle toy. Get her more exercise. Something. Anything. It will get easier. Totally normal to feel overwhelmed right now. Just remember that your kid is brand spanking new and requires a ton of attention right now. It won't always be that way.
You can do it, you can do it! My dog was my baby before we had DS. She's definitely had a tough time with the transition from being the baby to the dog. But, it's important that when baby is napping to give the dog some snuggle time. I've found that even 10 minutes of my time spent paying complete attention to my dog makes all the difference in the world.
As far as the vacuuming goes, I know that it's tough. Is there a room you can keep the dog out of so you can go there for tummy time? Otherwise, it might be time for baby to get used to hearing the sound of the vacuum.
Your lives have changed dramatically now. I think your responsibility to your pets is to make sure they are well taken care of, not necessarily by you.
We have just gone through the same things with our cats. We had two, but could not find a home for them. We tried words of mouth and Kijiji.Luckily we went to this B&B that I frequent a few times a year that has a few cats on their acreage and they offered to take them and care for them. We have been out to visit once already. The cats are happier, they can roam and not listen to the baby crying ( which really seemed to bother them), they are well fed and loved by all the people who come to visit.
I wish you can find a good situation like we did. You have to do what is best for your newest priority. If you know she would be going to a good home, I don't see the problem!
Exactly. It's a pet, not a child. I know some people like to humanize their animals, but I just don't put them on the same level of importance as my human family members. If you feel like the dog would be better off in another home and you know someone willing to take care of it, there is no shame in doing that. That's what is best for the animal. But if taking care of the animal is causing you to stress about the care you need to give your real family members, it needs to go.
Once this gets copies to the pets board you're going to have a bunch of people coming over here telling you how you are the worst person in the world for even having these thoughts. Don't let it bother you. Your #1 priority is your husband and child. Life changes and our circumstances change as we add children to our households.
She never said she was going to "discard" the dog.
How about getting a dog walker (could even be a neighborhood kid) a few times a week? Sometimes that little extra attention and working out can help.
GL!
BFP #1 March 24, 2010; missed m/c May 26, 2010 @ 12w 4d; D&E May 28, 2010
BFP #2 Oct 20, 2010; My little boy was born on July 5, 2011
BFP #3 April 30, 2013; Chemical Pg May 5, 2013
BFP #4 Aug 22, 2013; It's a boy. Loss discovered at 24 weeks on Jan 15, 2014 (cause CMV virus)
BFP #5 April 6, 2014; missed m/c May 15, 2014 @ 9 weeks; Misoprostol May 15, 2014; D&C May June 3, 2014