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Baby Showers
Help 2nd shower delema
I already have a daughter of my own with a shower that unfortunately was snowed out so not very many were able to attend. This is dh's first though and his family wants a shower. I never expected to have a second shower but with his family wanting one do I let them throw one for me and if I do should I invite my family too. I don't want it to seem like I am ungrateful to my family for how much they already helped me with my first but I also don't want to hurt my dh's family feelings. I thought about suggesting a meet the baby shower instead and registering for his family so they can still buy us gifts if they like but I don't want my family to feel like they have to buy us anything. PLEASE HELP!
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Re: Help 2nd shower delema
Typically showers for more than 1 LO aren't appropriate, and some will say that there is really NO exception to this, but I'm of the opinion that there are *some* circumstances that might warrant one. In this case, a different father who has no other children means a whole side of the family who didn't get to throw you (or SO) a baby shower before.
If they want to do this for you and SO as his first child, I would accept... but I wouldn't invite any friends or family who were invited to your previous shower (except maybe your mom or any sisters). Let your mom handle any family who wonders why they weren't invited via word of mouth ("Afrye was so grateful that you came to the shower for DD last time, she didn't want you to think you needed to go out of your way again. SO's family was really set on throwing her a shower since it's SO's first child.")
You could call it a "Baby Sprinkle" instead of a shower. It's usually not as full-blown as a shower. I would still invite your family, but make it clear that they do not have to buy you anything if they don't want to. If they're anything like my family, they would feel left out if not invited.
I've had several friends have showers for their second child. It's not as uncommon as you would think.
GL!
A friend of mine had one for her 4th! New husband and his first baby and his mother's first grandchild. SHE threw a shower...didn't even ask - just told my friend she was having one. lol My friend had a 7 year old (her youngest) so it wasn't like she had much left that was usable so it was nice that she had a shower given for her. I have to admit that 90% of the people there were from her DH's side of the family. Her mom and 2 sisters were there - that was it...besides me and a couple of other friends (but none of us even knew her when she had her first 16 years ago!).
I think it is fine if your MIL wants to host a shower. If you are uncomfortable just invite your mom and any sisters you might have.
Boys won't die if they use something pink, btw.
You're the parents, you chose to have the child, it is your responsibility to provide for that child. It's not the job of your family and friends to outfit you with whatever you need.
Agreed. It was also YOUR choice to go pink crazy with your first LO, instead of buying gender neutral things that could have been reused.
As long as they bring you some sort of gift, right?
You know your group of friends and family better than we do. If they are the very traditional kind, then don't invite them. If they are super excited that you are having another baby and probably going to get you a gift anyways than add them to the guest list.
Is it a co-ed shower where your DH will participate too, or for the women in his family to celebrate the baby? Just asking cuase you said he wants one. If he is coming then I would def invite more of your family and friends
I have the opinion that with my second, I will have a "meet the baby" party a few weeks after the baby comes home. No gift pressure but most people will probably bring some gender specific items since once again, we are not finding out! I have two friends who had second baby showers...both were having a different gender the second time. I think that this is really not a big deal...there are bigger, more important issues to stress over! Just have it and have fun!
BTW, this is my first day reading the forum topics and most of you ladies are rude and slightly mean when commenting. Makes me scared to even post! I thought this was supposed to be supportive...maybe you should pretend like you are talking to the person face to face - I'm sure none of you would be that blunt and rude in person.
No one is rude or mean, people only think that when we are not agreeing with them or blowing sunshine up their butts. If you want to ignore manners and proper etiquette, fine, but don't come on here and expect that we are going to tell you it's ok, that won't happen. And yes, I would say any of that to my friends in person.
If you want a support group, go to an AA meeting.
I was thinking the same thing!!! People are so rude!!! And they are somebodys mothers????
No way!!!!
We chose not to find out baby's gender and I'm loaded with crap. My baby will be genderless until they're 1 with the amount of stuff I have.
I have purchased enough clothing for an army of babies, and it's all gender neutral. With a bit of creativity, other stuff can be. I bought a sailor suit-looking one piece; I'll add a bow to the hat if it's a girl. Done.
Plus I'm pretty sure my baby boy won't care if he uses pink wash cloths.
I agree
Let them shower you and enjoy it.
Wow - thanx for helping me to show everyone an example of just what I was talking about!
Your welcome, I always try to be helpful!