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May 2011 Moms
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Exhausted! Overwhelmed!

nes13nes13
in May 2011 Moms
DD is almost four month old and I am just sooo tiered. I can't eat, sit, sleep, shower, clean the house, cook, watch a movie or TV, sometimes not even take a leak for hours and I can go on and on. She refuses to nap tried out everything I am just so desperate. Don't have any of my family members live nearby only in laws, but they are just awful won't even take the baby to there house when i am not around so then what is the fu*king point to go there I can't do any of my chores and then they pile up even more. So, i seriously need a rest! Does anyone has an advise? By the way husband won't even change diapers. Since month I am feeding her bathing her changing her I am 24/7 with her it is just overwhelming I feel like I can't do this anymore.  
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Re: Exhausted! Overwhelmed!

  • elisbuelisbu member

    Advice? Leave her with DH for a n hour or two and go out to the mall, to Target, the library, for coffee...etc. It won't get your chores done, but it will give you a break.

    He is her father, he needs to step it up!

    Also, get something to wear her in, we love our ring sling right now. I can't do everything, but I can empty the dishwasher, reload it, make something to eat, vacume, and pick up stuff with her in it.

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  • Angel0423Angel0423
    i think you and hubby need to discuss your roles. is he working and you staying home?  even so you need an hour a day to yourself to shower, eat, whatever else, so let him know to plan for that when he gets home from work.  if you need to take a leak put the baby down and do it! if she cries the whole time thats ok.  maybe she'll start to learn that mommy will come back very soon and start freaking out less.  i work fulltime, so i don't have much advice, but i know in the morning when i take my shower if shes up i put her in the bouncer and bring it in the bathroom with me.  does she have a bouncer/swing/wonder gym that she enjoys enough to give you 10 minutes to eat a bowl of cereal? you can totally do this! just find a minute to step back and breathe!
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  • sumpunkchairsumpunkchair
    imageelisbu:

    Advice? Leave her with DH for a n hour or two and go out to the mall, to Target, the library, for coffee...etc. It won't get your chores done, but it will give you a break.

    He is her father, he needs to step it up!

    Also, get something to wear her in, we love our ring sling right now. I can't do everything, but I can empty the dishwasher, reload it, make something to eat, vacume, and pick up stuff with her in it.

     Totes agree....especially about DH manning up and helping...and exploring your options of babywearing.

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  • jg_girl1jg_girl1 member
    Bouncer and baby wearing are my best friends. They are the only reason I get anything done.
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  • Athena0809Athena0809 member
    imageelisbu:

    Advice? Leave her with DH for a n hour or two and go out to the mall, to Target, the library, for coffee...etc. It won't get your chores done, but it will give you a break.

    He is her father, he needs to step it up!

    Also, get something to wear her in, we love our ring sling right now. I can't do everything, but I can empty the dishwasher, reload it, make something to eat, vacume, and pick up stuff with her in it.

    I couldn't have said it better. I'm sorry about your situation and that you are felling this way. I've been there feeling very overwhelmed. It does get easier, I used to hear this and wanted to puch people for telling me this, but it's true. I learned that letting DS cry for a minute while I go pee won't hurt him. Also, I lowered my standard of "housekeeping" I realized my priority is DS not a clean house!

    p.s. Can you call a girlfriend (one with kids so she'll understand you) meet up for a "playdate" or just take LO and go for a walk for 15 min and forget about the house!

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  • kewltifkewltif member

    I agree with the others who say to just put her down. My DD can sit under her playmat for a really long time. I felt a lot like you the first month or two, but by now DD can entertain herself a good deal more.

    If your DH seriously will not help at all, then I also agree with the person who suggested hiring a neighborhood teenager. If you're going to be home anyway, then I wouldn't be as weary of a teen.  Maybe get a few afternoons a week, like 3-5, where you can clean the house, cook dinner, etc. It would make a world of difference.

    If DH doesn't want to pony up to pay for some help then he has no option but to step in.

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  • kewltifkewltif member

    Also, you said that your in laws won't take the baby to their house, but will they come and sit with LO in your house? Even then you can get some things done.

    Another thing- I know how you feel about not wanting to hire a babysitter (even though it's a good idea). 

    I was very overwhelmed in the beginning. DH works long hours and I have ZERO local family. My in laws are helpful but like 2.5 hours away and my mom has never once offered to help me (even so, she's still 1:15 away).  DH kept telling me to hire a babysitter and I refused. I don't know why. I guess I just felt stupid about paying someone to watch my kid when I was a SAHM. Anyway, things did get easier around here, but with my next baby, I think I will set up a couple of mornings a week with a local babysitter and not feel guilty about it! The little bit of money is small if it helps you keep your sanity.

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