The way people verbally discipline.....

sugarangel77 · September 2011

I hear people yelling at their children often and a few phrases really make me cringe. I live in Baltimore so it's possible this is just my area, but I hear women tell their kids.... "I'm gonna bust you up" or bust your butt. often. Or "Im gonna beat your a$$ boy" WTH is wrong with people?

what have you overheard that makes you cringe?

what other phrases/ word make you cringe?

EJensify · September 2011

I hate it when people tell their kids to shut up.

yaelandhal · September 2011

That's cringeworthy.

Where I live, it's the reverse problem - most people
(like me) have their babies older, and are way too liberal, as in, anything their child does is a-ok, not even an adult-to-adult apology when someone's kid repeatedly hits you at a restaurant, or blocks a crowded subway entrance while your train is coming. For many NYC parents, everything is on their child's terms, just like in SATC and "Bored to Death." Lighten up, I know, but the air of entitlement gets old.

theaustins05 · September 2011

Recently I told my niece in law she was being bad and I got in trouble. Apparently the new PC thing to say when your child gets violent with their younger sibling is that they are naughty.

kdw6383 · September 2011

mullenem:
My sister does the "Stop it or else you're not (getting dessert, going to the park, etc.)" and then repeats it about 4+ times and never actually follows through on the threat. This drives me crazy.

This...just with a SIL

amywoods824 · September 2011

mullenem:
My sister does the "Stop it or else you're not (getting dessert, going to the park, etc.)" and then repeats it about 4+ times and never actually follows through on the threat. This drives me crazy.

My sister does the same exact thing with my 4 year old nephew... especially when he's going nuts in a restaurant. Mental note for what not to do in the future.

kacelle · September 2011

theaustins05:
Recently I told my niece in law she was being bad and I got in trouble. Apparently the new PC thing to say when your child gets violent with their younger sibling is that they are naughty.

I actually hate to hear people telling children that they are bad or being bad. It's strongly discouraged by child development experts because it can damage the development of a child's self esteem if heard repeatedly. I do use the phrase "being naughty," because I think it carries different connotations than "being bad" does for a child.

I really hate to hear parents say "I'll beat your butt" or threaten to spank in general. I'm very anti-spanking, but I do understand that some parents do it in such a way that their children learn a positive lesson. However, I don't think that threatening a child or "beating their butt" instills anything but fear in a child.

katieandjeffie · September 2011

EJensify:
I hate it when people tell their kids to shut up.

This! And so much more. I just quit being a cashier at Wal-Mart so there are just too many to share.

lyndsaynicole · September 2011

Quite a few years ago I worked at Michaels Arts and Crafts. I remember one time this lady was in with her 3 kids. The kids were all being pretty good for the most part, but one little boy-who was maybe about 4 I would say, really wanted some candy bar or something that they have up front by the registers. He had it in his hand and she paid for her stuff and they started to leave. She realized he still had the candy bar in his hand and that it wasn't paid for. She dragged him back over to the shelf and told him to put it back. He protested a little bit and she said (LOUDLY), "You cannot take it. THEY WILL ARREST YOU!! The Police will come and they WILL ARREST YOU AND TAKE YOU TO JAIL!! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?" LOL.....geeez. I think she scared the crap out of him.

lorist202 · September 2011

yaelandhal:
That's cringeworthy.
Where I live, it's the reverse problem - most people
(like me) have their babies older, and are way too liberal, as in, anything their child does is a-ok, not even an adult-to-adult apology when someone's kid repeatedly hits you at a restaurant, or blocks a crowded subway entrance while your train is coming. For many NYC parents, everything is on their child's terms, just like in SATC and "Bored to Death." Lighten up, I know, but the air of entitlement gets old.

I'm with you on the "having babies older" thing. I read The Pampered Child Syndrome which addresses the very issue of non-discipline and how it harms children. Both extremes are clearly unhealthy for children.

sparkymcgeee · September 2011

EJensify:
I hate it when people tell their kids to shut up.

I was totally going to say this. Last week LO and I were at the mall with my sister and SIL and my three nieces. We walked by a maybe one month old who was being told to "shut it up" by his mother. Klassy lady. Telling your NB to shut up.

He wasn't even crying really. Just a little fussy.

Heather & Nayt · September 2011

A few things:

I told myself I would never ever be the mom who made idle treats to my kids, and it was pointed out to me that since I had DD I was becoming that mom because DS always acted up right when DD get's fussy. Let me tell you I have a whole new understanding of some other moms! I am making an effort to go through with what I tell him though.

And I am in the "Being naughty" club too. I think it is much better then telling a kid they are "bad".

We spank, but I think it has to be done right. We never ever tell DS we are going to beat him. But he knows what a spanking is. We always explain WHY he got the spanking and then we hug him and tell him that we love him, then we make him follow through by either picked up what mess he got into or apologizing to the offended party.

All of that said, the thing I hate it when we are around SIL and she tell her kids to shut their face, or that they are being stupid.

fluffybuns · September 2011

I think when it comes to the way you discipline-you will get back what you give, so choose wisely!

When I was pregnant with Avery, I was in Target, and there was a woman who saw me and had her three beautiful girls with her-probably ages 7-12. She kept telling them how huge they were and she couldn't find clothes to fit them and that she needed to stop feeding them. Then she made reference to me and how stupid I was to have a baby because, and I quote," She doesn't know how stupid she is to have a baby, I was stupid enough to do it three times and all I got out of it was you assholes"

I could have screamed!

sparkymcgeee · September 2011

fluffybuns:
I think when it comes to the way you discipline-you will get back what you give, so choose wisely!
When I was pregnant with Avery, I was in Target, and there was a woman who saw me and had her three beautiful girls with her-probably ages 7-12. She kept telling them how huge they were and she couldn't find clothes to fit them and that she needed to stop feeding them. Then she made reference to me and how stupid I was to have a baby because, and I quote," She doesn't know how stupid she is to have a baby, I was stupid enough to do it three times and all I got out of it was you assholes"
I could have screamed!

This definitely takes the cake. That is incredibly sad.

JUSTBEYOURSELF · September 2011

there was a recent situation on a bus where a mom forced her kid to eat and hit him in the face cause he was not eating fast enough. she was arrested thankfully cause someone called it in.

there was another situation in CT where a woman gave this kid a bottle (toddler) and before she handed it to him she filled it with beer and made him chug it. she was arrested along with her friend that was cheering him on. she also had an infant with them and the infant had traces of cocaine in her system. the mothers defense on the infant with cocaine was that the infant was not breast feed! horrible and where was this seen? in a park!!!

some people SHOULD NOT have children esp if they are going to treat them this way.

like the lady who adopted twins from russia and makes the bad one swish hot sauce in his mouth and take cold showers. she was on Dr Phil. I am glad that bi&&h got arrested. of course the other twin was good he was freaking scared. what a way to pit brothers against each other too.

I cannot hold back when I see someone mistreat a child. I say something. I have called the cops before when these parents got in the car and were ready to drive off on their boy who was still strapped into the carriage of the price chopper kid cart. the kid was crying and begging them not to leave. a car blocked them in and I called the cops along with a few other on lookers. These parents were crazy and they did not even have a car seat for the child as well. he was under 3.

my daycare has one little girl who's parents are not part of her life. her mom is a wreck her dad is in jail. her dad was the one who always played with her and cared for her. not sure what he did. she is between grandmas on her living situation. The poor girl is always sad. Every time I go drop off or pick up my daughter I take some time out if I can to play with her. I feel so bad. she is always looking out the blinds to see "who loves me and who is picking me up today". she is finally starting to nap and smile and be happy. just recently they had a court case and the grandmas were telling her that she was going to get to see mommy. she was all excited and mommy did not show up. poor kid. one of the grandmothers leaves her there all the time. she promises to come pick her up but then will call and say she will be there later in the day, mind you this kid just spent over night and the grandmother told her she was coming to get her in the morning! so the little girl will not nap hoping for grandma to come get her. so sad...

I cannot imagine ever calling my child a bad word or ass hole or anything like that. that is horrible and that child will try now even harder to get that mother to love them without her ever loving back that is so sad. If I was there and could afford to take on those three kids I would have asked her for them right then and there. she probably would have given them up to which makes her sick in the freaking head.

after all these stories I will hug my little one a little bit harder.

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