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Multiples
Can your DH watch your LOs by himself?
Last night I had a much needed hair appointment, it was after work and I tried to be home before everyone had to start getting ready for bed. DH calls and says, "You have to come home now, I can't do this anymore" (it was 7pm and that was the time I said I was going to be home, but my hair stylist was taking a little longer than I expected) I told him I would be home in about 15 min.
So I get home, and the twins are in their room, just playing, I pick them both up and go and look for DS1 and DH, DH was sitting in the living room with his eyes closed and he says, "You can't do this to me again" I look at him like, "WTF do you think I do all weekend while you work and I have everyone?????" I only asked for two hours. Turns out DS1 wasn't listening and getting into trouble (nightly occurrence at our house) and he was sent to bed early.
Well I went in there and asked DS if he wanted to get in the tub with the babies and he hid under the covers (so I know it was probably a bad night for him too) well no sooner did I turn on that water and he came running (naked) and jumped in with everyone. It was so easy, DH comes in the bathroom and was like, "How come you get undressed for mom but when I asked you wouldn't do it?"
Well, this turned into a really long story, sorry. Before I went to bed that night I made DH tell me, "Your the best wife ever!" and I knew he meant it!
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Re: Can your DH watch your LOs by himself?
Cut the Crap - Weight loss journey of a Few Fat Chicks
Our house is a bit of a special case situation, but honestly DH is more used to being home alone with the girls than I am. He was laid off the week before they were born, and was a SAHD/student for the last 18 months. I went back to work FT when they were 8 weeks old. He's now graduated and will be starting a job in 2 weeks, so now I'll be home with them alone 1-2 days a week, which will be a big adjustment for ME.
That being said, the only way parents find their groove for being home alone with their kids is to do it. It isn't going to get easier just by avoiding it.
I'm sorry that you dealt with that.
My husband is pretty awesome. I don't think twice about leaving him with the kids.
Having babies and a toddler has got to be hard.
For us, yes, my DH does great alone. He's done 3 days/nights before while I've traveled for work/vacation. He even cleans the house, which is more than I can say for me when I'm alone.
Don't get me wrong, my DH can do the twins or DS1, but usually not together. DS1 is such a handful, you really just have to keep him busy. He's not a "play by himself" type kid. I figured that out awhile ago and so I have stuff that he does to keep him busy, and then I call him Mommy's helper and he loves it. If I don't then he is running over someone or a dog with his Buzz Lightyear ride on toy, or using his chainsaw to chase the dogs around or act like he's chopping off a baby's leg. It can be really stressful!
Me and DH usually do it together, we are quite the team, but one person it is very hard! (in our house)
It's very similar in our house and I feel for you. Everyone wants me to put their pj's on, me to tuck them in, be to rub their back...
But I have to say I blame myself. When everyone was little I had this whole "I am the only one who can do this the right way" thing going on and I rarely left anyone alone with the kids. So, I really am now at a point where I am burned out and DH never learned to deal with having 3 kids alone by himself.
I also find DH just gets frustrated with them and gives up. It's like they know we will do it so why get frustrated. I get frustrated too but I don't have a choice because there isn't anyone else.
I've been trying really hard to just let go and give myself time for me but it's hard. But I've realized the only way DH is going to learn to do it is just being thrown into it like I did and not having anyone to rescue you.
yes he can.
but the only reason he can is because i have provided him the opportunity. i meet with a running club on saturdays and a cycling club on sundays - he has to watch the kids while i am gone, usually 2 hours each day.
at first, i felt really guilty leaving him home with the kids. but then it dawned on me that *i* am home with them ALL the time. for hours and hours, if not all day. so, if i can handle 8-9 hours, he can surely handle 2. and, i think its good for him. he needs to know how to deal with tantrums and stuff. and, he has to understand what i go through on a daily basis.
but if i never gave him the chance? then yeah, we would be two years into it and he probably wouldnt have much of a clue.
I could have written this myself a few weeks ago. DH RARELY watches both girls by himself. The only time is if I need to run the store real fast and they are both asleep. He just doesn't know how to watch them both like I do...I know I need to get him used to it more but you know how that goes.
I took 2 hours to go to a friends bridal shower a few weeks ago, and he texted me saying "i thought you'd be home already" I was like cmon! 2 hours in 4 months is all I've taken to be away from both girls, he survived but was actually much more helpful after I came home because he realizes I do this day in and day out!
Yep, without issue.
Honestly, I expect nothing less. They're his kids, too. Certainly there are some days when each of us is just waiting for the other to come home because someone in the house has made the day exceptionally hard. But we can both handle it.
This!!! Everything you said. My DH just is NOT a baby guy. He didn't do that much with DS1 but now he and DS1 can go outside and they cut the grass together and everything, DS1 just loves helping Dad, he is a great father, just the baby stage is hard for him.
I am very lucky that DH is GREAT with the boys and does just fine on his own. I leave them with him on a regular basis and he's never really had any problems. I don't know how it's going to go once we throw this baby girl into the mix! I will say though that I have had many time where I have been the one to call DH and say, "you need to come home NOW!"
But, before I was pregnant, I didn't do that very often.
Sorry you had to deal with that, when you are trying to have some pampering alone time. It sucks... happened to me before.
He is capable, as long as everyone sticks to the schedule. When out of their routine, there is no telling how the day may end up.
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
Sorry to hear that you had to deal with that.
I'm very fortunate because my husband is excellent with our Babies. I don't worry at all when he's home alone with them.
We've taken a team approach since the beginning, and it's worked out great because DH's work schedule is more flexible than mine. If the kids are sick, or if I'm traveling (I had to go on a 9-day trip this summer), he's in charge and everyone does fine. I tend to be the one who proposes changes in schedules and routines, but I always run them by him so that we both know what we're doing. DH is actually better with the kids at some things than I am, since I tend to get stressed out and he is more even-keeled.
This. I'm sorry he freaked out.
I left mine alone with the twins for entire weekends alone while I was away playing hockey. He's much more calm and relaxed about taking care of the babies than I am.
Yep, I make sure to leave them with him once in awhile. I'm a SAHM so I need a break once in awhile - even if it's just to go to the grocery store alone on the weekend. Two weeks ago, I left at 10am to go out in the city to hang out with friends and I stayed overnight. I'm glad my DH has been alone with them a lot because I didn't even think twice or worry about him taking care of them for almost 24 hours alone.
Yep. Dh is very capable of taking care of the little ones. He is also capable of taking care of all 5 kids. He gets frazzled sometimes, but he gets through it.
my husband is great with kids - he has no problem watching all 3 kids by himself... never has.
He's more stressed out when he has them on his own than I am - but that's just his nature... I'm way more chill about the kids and what they do, etc.
he's a little more of a pushover with the kids- but in general is good about discipline and they listen to him about 95% of the amount they listen to me
I'm sorry that you had to deal with that, I have a friend with 3 kids who rarely does anything for herself and her husband texts and calls her and even bought her oldest to the hair salon while she was 9 mos pg with her 2nd!
I'm fortunate that my H is amazing with the girls and with them a couple days per wk while I'm at work because we work opposite schedules.
"I have four children. Two are adopted. I forget which two. -Bob Constantine
"All for Love,' a Saviour prayed 'Abba Father have Your way. Though they know not what they do...Let the Cross draw men to You...."
DH is fine w/ all 3 at once. He does have a more difficult time after he's worked all day or if bedtime is involved. But he survives (usually by all 3 going to bed once I've gotten home) Bedtime is a science tho, so I can't complain too much. He kept them the first time when the girls were just 6 weeks old. and has only griped because he was tired, not because the kids stressed him or anything. He's never ever given me any grief about getting out.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that. You deserve some time to yourself.
MH watches the girls by himself quite often. He sometimes takes them food shopping by himself.
I'm sorry that happened. You should be able to get away for a few hours without an SOS call.
I am very fortunate to have a husband who is 100% on board with all the baby stuff and, whenever he's home, we've got a divide and conquer approach. He took care of them alone all day on my birthday, when they were about 3 months old, and did it again a few weeks ago when I had an all-day seminar (and he managed to work from home that day, too!) I have no issue leaving them with him, I just feel kind of guilty sometimes, like I'm foisting my "job" on him.