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February 2012 Moms
blueyedsweety28
member
baby name and family tradition
blueyedsweety28
member
my boyfriend and I briefly discussed baby names and immediately realized we've got a big conflict .. he is very adamant about his 'family tradition' of the first born son having it's father's name ..
and his uncle that has the same name, they don't even call him by it .. they call him a different name .. so why name my baby the same name just to be called something else to avoid confusion .. ?
ever since I was 14 (I'm 25) I have liked the name Aiden Ryder for a boy .. I told him that name and his response, "mmm .. not so much, sounds like a fairy british dude" and he also told me it reminds him of somebody else's child named Aiden that is veryy naughty ..
anyways, I think this is very redundant considering the child already carries on the father's last name .. why should it have to carry on the first name as well .. ?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: baby name and family tradition
I personally think that if either of you don't like a name, it shouldn't be taken into consideration. If your boyfriend hates the name Aiden, then you should agree to remove it from your list, but he should be just as willing to drop his argument too.
Ditto. No offense, but it is a pet-peeve of mine when women forget that their DH/SO has 50% say in the name of their child, just as they do. I also think it is unfair for one of the parents to get to choose BOTH the first and the middle names.
Totally agreed -- it's not all about either parent's wishes!
♥ Married since June 2009 ♥
TW: Living children & Losses:
Pregnant after 4 losses via IVF/FET with daughter "Gamma" (EDD Oct 2, 2019)
well I was just upset at first about him completely turning down the name cuz I felt like he was doing it just cuz I didn't like the idea of naming the baby after him ..
I completely understand that both parents need to like a name .. but he hasn't been helpful in looking for other boy names and when I asked about a girl name, he had no opinion and didn't care if I picked the name myself ..
For me... If I liked the family name, I'd probably use it because that sort of stuff is really important in a lot of families. I don't think the baby has to be called something different to avoid confusion. I have a friend that he, his father and now his son all have the same first name and they all go by it. There were times when one was called "Big first name" or the other was called "Little first name"... but only when a distinction needed to be made. The other option is to name him that but call him by his middle name, that is not uncommon or weird. It honors a family tradition while still allowing you to use a name you really like.
I agree with the PP... if your DH doesn't like the name you've loved since 14 yo (presumably before you met him) it should be taken off the table. You should come to a name together, so if you really don't like DH's name, you shouldnt feel pressure to use it.
Could you use the family name as a middle name as a compromise?
That's what we're doing if we have a boy.
I completely understand where you are coming from. My husband wants to use his first name (same as his father's) for our baby (if it's a boy). It will have a different middle name, but I absolutely cannot stand the thought of using the first name he wants. My husband thinks that my father in law will be disappointed if we don't go with the tradition, but it's not my father in law's child...
Another peeve of mine is the fact that my father in law has been quite annoying throughout this whole pregnancy process. He's said some completely hurtful and inappropriate things (many times) with respect to my changing body and the birthing process.
We've avoided the name conversation, and we'll readdress it exactly one week from tomorrow when we find out if we even need to worry about a boy name or not. I'm secretly hoping for a girl so there will be less chance of an disagreement.
I agree, a baby's name should be the joint decision of both parents. Hopefully my husband will understand this and we can find something we both like.
I agree that you should both move on to a name you can agree on.
That said, I really like the name Aiden. Maybe you could 'man it up' more by getting rid of Ryder as a middle name and picking something stronger like Aiden Jacob or Aiden Michael or..... Aiden + your husbands first name as a middle for a compromise?