TTCAL drama?

lunatwo · August 2011

I admit I have not even lurked on TTCAL in months, but what is going on over there that everyone is bailing? Hurtful comments? Why is anyone being hurtful?

johnnys june · August 2011

It seems there are alot of trolls lately, random BFP posts from people we don't know, and disagreements. Maybe b/c there are so many new? It seems to come and go in waves. It is disheartening though b/c so many women truly do need and appreciate the support. It sucks that it gets so muddy...

Missa_g · August 2011

For me it's become difficult to see people intro then graduate within one cycle. I'm certainly happy for them, but it is sapping to repeatedly give support but not feel it returned. Most of my friends have graduated, are on breaks, or are introing here. The trolls and drivebys don't help. Also, now that we're dealing with IF and treatments I feel like I'm in a different place. Our loss is very much a part of who I am, but now I don't even know if I can get pregnant again. I don't really feel like I fit anywhere right now.

Rawr08 · August 2011

I don't know what is going on over there. All I ever seem to see on the board is shout outs and group check ins. I think that is the main reason I don't post over there as often as I used to. I also don't know many of the girls. It is so hard for me to remember anyone, by the time I do they have moved on. I am just being selfish. That is all.

DCWJes · August 2011

Pretty much all of what the PPs said. It really hasn't been a welcoming place. Even when we had a troll "living" there, it was more fun. A lot of ladies are just drop-ins and its getting frusterating. I still remember someone asking if I had "street cred" because I have had 2 losses. It doesn't make me have "street cred" it makes me hurt more and miss more than one angel. I am tired of people telling people what to do, especially when they are oblivious to what it was before. Maybe someday it will get better, which I hope for the people who are in need of the support. I am not saying that the people who are there don't need it, its just that people go into the room and aren't ready it seems.

There was also an incident that I have not forgotten, and maybe not forgiven. It was the one where people who have children shouldn't be so hurt by their losses. It wasn't the person who started the group that was trying to be mean about it, it was someone else who kept pushing the issue and never apologized. That was pretty much the turning point for me. I started backing further and further away from the board and just lurking. Now, I pretty much chat when I can.

CashewsMommy · August 2011

It is the old cycle. Newbies telling us we're too bitter and so forth.

I believe the exact words were: "I think its about time that the "newbiez" started running the showw over there"

And lately there have been a lot of separations going on, and someone said "I think i'm going to make a post about loved ones leaving as a result of bitter people."

Its just wrong! But its the cycle... it has happened before and will happen again.

I just have to remember that if they make it to this point, I need to welcome them with open arms again instead of being shoved away with an "I told you so".

cutebride73 · August 2011

I never even lurk there anymore. It was such a comforting place for me for such a long time, I really feel bad hearing it is not like that anymore. But, like many of you, most of the girls I felt I knew well have graduated or have moved on or are over here. It's been close to a year since I've been on this board and although I still posted there too for many months, I just feel like I don't know and can't really relate to anyone there anymore (for the most part). IF and repeated losses has really made me salty.

LilMaggs · August 2011

PetraStonegirl:
For me, in addition to all the reasons listed above, there was just a massive flood of newbies. Some were very decent people. But many had a very combative attitude and thought that the 'oldies' should butt out and leave the board to the newbies.

This is what I got sick of. I found that attitude really offensive. This month makes a year for me on these boards, and to have the time that I spent supporting people who moved on before I did thrown back in my face in a "you're just bitter" drama was the turning point.

suntoto · August 2011

CashewsMommy:
It is the old cycle. Newbies telling us we're too bitter and so forth.

I believe the exact words were: "I think its about time that the "newbiez" started running the showw over there"

And lately there have been a lot of separations going on, and someone said "I think i'm going to make a post about loved ones leaving as a result of bitter people."

Its just wrong! But its the cycle... it has happened before and will happen again.

I just have to remember that if they make it to this point, I need to welcome them with open arms again instead of being shoved away with an "I told you so".

Grr. This makes me so mad, so PSA sent on that board. I will probably be flamed to high heaven for it, but they should realize they are hurting themselves by running people out.

Hugs to all of you for dealing with this.

CashewsMommy · August 2011

suntoto:
CashewsMommy:

It is the old cycle. Newbies telling us we're too bitter and so forth.

I believe the exact words were: "I think its about time that the "newbiez" started running the showw over there"

And lately there have been a lot of separations going on, and someone said "I think i'm going to make a post about loved ones leaving as a result of bitter people."

Its just wrong! But its the cycle... it has happened before and will happen again.

I just have to remember that if they make it to this point, I need to welcome them with open arms again instead of being shoved away with an "I told you so".

Grr. This makes me so mad, so PSA sent on that board. I will probably be flamed to high heaven for it, but they should realize they are hurting themselves by running people out.

Hugs to all of you for dealing with this.

Thank you so much for that.

suntoto · August 2011

CashewsMommy:
suntoto:
CashewsMommy:

It is the old cycle. Newbies telling us we're too bitter and so forth.

I believe the exact words were: "I think its about time that the "newbiez" started running the showw over there"

And lately there have been a lot of separations going on, and someone said "I think i'm going to make a post about loved ones leaving as a result of bitter people."

Its just wrong! But its the cycle... it has happened before and will happen again.

I just have to remember that if they make it to this point, I need to welcome them with open arms again instead of being shoved away with an "I told you so".

Grr. This makes me so mad, so PSA sent on that board. I will probably be flamed to high heaven for it, but they should realize they are hurting themselves by running people out.

Hugs to all of you for dealing with this.

Thank you so much for that.

Any time. It was needed.

noah-bear · August 2011

CashewsMommy:
It is the old cycle. Newbies telling us we're too bitter and so forth.

I believe the exact words were: "I think its about time that the "newbiez" started running the showw over there"

Don't forget the "if they can't handle that, they can leave"

liesam · August 2011

I think we also had a big decline with people leaving to go to the FB group. But I agree with PPs that it's not the same anymore, and while I'm definitely not a newbie, I don't feel like I'm an "oldie" either and it is so draining to keep giving support to people who intro and then graduate in 1 or 2 cycles. Not that I'm not happy for them, they just don't get a chance to reciprocate. I think I'm just going to post here and lurk there more.

DesiraeSunshine · August 2011

its not the place i joined , loved, and felt welcome. its just not the same and i wont join the FB page, good thought but not needed. its an effen ghost town. i miss you all.

BabyVDM · August 2011

Hi,

I'm sorry if you feel this is intrusive... I have only been TTCAL for four months, and I am a relative newbie.

I just wanted to say, that maybe, you should be posting this in the actual TTCAL threads as well. It might diffuse the problem a little bit.

I announced my decision to leave the TTCAL board. I could have just left, but I was trying to maybe make a point, that whatever his happening there is not what I think anyone wants it to be. I am finding it more anxiety producing than a comfort. I actually find myself po'd reading the posts and thinking why why why do I subject myself to this.

Anyway, I hope that I meet you all in another area of the bump in the future sometime. Either that, or that I will be welcome here if things don't go so well.

Again, I apologize for the intrusion. Be well, stay strong.

CashewsMommy · September 2011

wickedsugar:
BabyVDM:

Hi,

I'm sorry if you feel this is intrusive... I have only been TTCAL for four months, and I am a relative newbie.

I just wanted to say, that maybe, you should be posting this in the actual TTCAL threads as well. It might diffuse the problem a little bit.

I announced my decision to leave the TTCAL board. I could have just left, but I was trying to maybe make a point, that whatever his happening there is not what I think anyone wants it to be. I am finding it more anxiety producing than a comfort. I actually find myself po'd reading the posts and thinking why why why do I subject myself to this.

Anyway, I hope that I meet you all in another area of the bump in the future sometime. Either that, or that I will be welcome here if things don't go so well.

Again, I apologize for the intrusion. Be well, stay strong.

This acctually annoyed the sh!t out of me this morning... Wanna know why ?? because for the most part us "Oldies" were posting on TTCAL, until we started to feel unwelcomed...I am tired of people draining us for advice & help & what not but being thrown to the curb after they are done with us...

/RANT

LOL I was just thinking the same thing. Your post never stuck it to anyone, and um... I don't understand... you know what. It's not even worth my time. TTFN.

BabyVDM · September 2011

CashewsMommy:
wickedsugar:
BabyVDM:

This acctually annoyed the sh!t out of me this morning... Wanna know why ?? because for the most part us "Oldies" were posting on TTCAL, until we started to feel unwelcomed...I am tired of people draining us for advice & help & what not but being thrown to the curb after they are done with us...

/RANT
LOL I was just thinking the same thing. Your post never stuck it to anyone, and um... I don't understand... you know what. It's not even worth my time. TTFN.

LOL - I wasn't trying to "stick it to anyone" and I think that was my point. (over there)

At anyrate, not trying to start anything here either.

I wish you all the best.

CashewsMommy · September 2011

BabyVDM:
CashewsMommy:
wickedsugar:
BabyVDM:

This acctually annoyed the sh!t out of me this morning... Wanna know why ?? because for the most part us "Oldies" were posting on TTCAL, until we started to feel unwelcomed...I am tired of people draining us for advice & help & what not but being thrown to the curb after they are done with us...

/RANT
LOL I was just thinking the same thing. Your post never stuck it to anyone, and um... I don't understand... you know what. It's not even worth my time. TTFN.
LOL - I wasn't trying to "stick it to anyone" and I think that was my point. (over there)
At anyrate, not trying to start anything here either.
I wish you all the best.

As you said "I could have just left, but I was trying to maybe make a point," That's what I don't understand. What point were you trying to make to the board?

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