Baby shower drama (long)

Netty_3 · August 2011

So I'll pre-empt this one with the fact I know it's petty. I am just really bugged about my baby shower. My Mom and sister are supposed to be planning it. In our family I plan everything, because I'm the only one that will get anything done. I knew going into this, that despite saying over and over again that for once I would just like to be a guest and not have to plan everything that I inevitably would.

I had to go to the planning meeting, I honestly just wish I didn't have to think of everything and plan everything just this once. I had to plan my own bridal shower years ago...can a pregnant lady get a break?

The day I told my Mom I was pregnant she asked when the shower should be, we decided Labor Day, since I'd have to travel to be there. A month ago I sent my sister the addresses for my friends and family already in label mode ready to print. She said she wanted to get the invites out ASAP. I agreed because with the holiday weekend people would be making plans, and I have friends I really hoped could go, but they would need to know. They sent the invites out last week!

I wish my mom hadn't been so adament about doing this now, and wish my MIL could have, she would have had it done on time. I am not looking forward to spending 6-7 hours in the car on Saturday to get there and know I'll have to end up going to the store with all of them to get supplies and pick out food they didn't bother to do beforehand. Then to actually make food and the favors and prizes...plus decorate. I'm exhausted thinking about it. I told them I just wanted to be a guest...I had just finished planning a bridal shower for a friend and bachelorette party, and said I didn't want to jump in and plan my own...my husband and I are already paying for and getting the cake for the event...any advice?

Olalala157 · August 2011

My advice would be to enjoy the fact that you get to spend time with family. I also had to help with my shower because it was my dad and his SO throwing it and quite frankly they aren't that good at these things. I wasn't focusing on the fact that I have to do all the work because in reality when you think about it only you are benefiting from all the gifts not them. I was happy to help them if they needed help. It seems like you are the talented person in the family and maybe they don't want to disappoint you so they would like your help. Dont get frustrated over this, think of it as you simply get your way with how you want your shower to be.

MrsCaddyshack · August 2011

I have no advice for you... but am letting you know that I feel your pain. My Mother and MIL are throwing my shower - but my Mother wants my opinion and input and help on EVERYTHING! I've said to her several times that I trust her judgement and that I will love whatever she does, but she says it's more fun for her if I'm involved.

Sorry that you're having to do so much WORK! I would just say that if you are going to have to help with the food/favors/decoration, to get as much pre-made food as possible, and keep the favors and decoration simple.

authorofdreamz · August 2011

I have the same problem. I feel bad because on one hand I am glad that I can help out and not leave all the work to my BFs mom because she has a lot going on but at the same time I'd really much rather it be more of a surprise and more of a party for me than the guests (I know that sounds selfish but to me that is just what a baby shower is supposed to be, a party to celebrate the new baby and the mother-to-be).

MommaErica · August 2011

My advice would be to take a deep breath, recognize that you knew exactly what this was going to turn into when you agreed to it, enjoy the time with your family and stop wasting time wishing they were different.

I'm going through something with a family member right now (not baby related) that has me COMPLETELY pissed off. I'm sure that a large portion of my anger is coming from the fact that I KNEW not to expect anything other than exactly what is happening and yet, I decided to hope it would be different anyway.

Your family members are who they are. You can accept that and enjoy the good things about them or you can choose to get all bent out of shape wishing they were different. It's not worth it. All the wishing/hoping in the world won't change them. Trust me.

As soon as I can follow my own advice, I'll be much happier too

Netty_3 · September 2011

Thanks...I just thought the fact I was driving over 6 hours to be there would be enough...last night my sister told me my Mom refused to order or do anything to prep. I'd just rather them not bother or be up front with me that I'm going to have to do it than at the last minute learn I need to get on the ball. I work full time and am far away, it doesn't make life easier to have to try and plan something from states over and have to bring it down with me. (I just planned an interstate bridal shower and bach party) I appreciate their "efforts"it's just kind of hurtful. I said it might be selfish, and I enjoy my family time plenty when I see them, I just wish it didn't have to be stressful. I get that I will benefit from the gifts...but they made it seem like they were overly excited to do this, and it sounded like they actually had a plan, now it's just the same old same old.

Many people can't make it because they couldn't get invites out in time...to me it was about being with friends and family. I guess, since I don't get to be selfish EVER...this time, I'm upset that the one time I wanted something to be about me and for me and my baby that I have to do it myself AGAIN.

Netty_3 · September 2011

Oh...and when I do a party, I do it right...I didn't expect the same leel of one I'd do, but at least the logistics. Now for my own party, if I have to do it...I would have liked the time to plan it to the caliber I would have done for someone else instead of a hodge podge.

Baby shower drama (long)

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