Update to: Am I too uptight?

wandafeet · August 2011

I just messaged DH asking if he could have a little chat with his parents on the drive home from the airport just giving them the heads up that it's late and DD is sleeping so we'll bring her to their room in the morning once she wakes up (or something like that).

DH replied, "Can they just come in and take a peek? They won't wake her up. Just to see her in person?" I replied that I'd rather not. In order to see her they're going to have to come into our room (can't see her from the door) and turn on a light. I just don't want to risk waking her up.

On one hand, I can understand that they came to visit specifically to see DD. Flew 14 hours from across the world - literally. But on the other hand I'll be supremely pissed if they wake DD up by "taking a peek." It will also be weird because I'll probably already be in bed because they won't be home until close to midnight. Ugh! I can see this slowly building into an argument already.

seanandcallie · August 2011

Honestly... I think you're being a bit uptight on this.

JQuin10 · August 2011

Sorry but I agree with your H. 14 hours... just to see her.... just a peak... if she wakes up then I'm sure they are rested enough from that 14 hour trip to watch her until she falls asleep again.

Unless they are criminals or creeps I wouldn't be worried about them watching her.

If you are worried about her schedule/cycle/blah blah... i'm sure you've retrained before and this seems to be very important to your husband. I'm sure he will love you more for being sweet and caring about this situation rather than taking charge of the situation.

If you are worried about YOUR sleep and YOU having to retrain her... just let your husband know that if she wakes up that you would like to go back to sleep and he needs to stay up and put her back to sleep. And that he will need to re-sleep train or get her back on her schedule when your in laws leave. I think that's a fair statement for your sanity.

If he has a problem with that then that is when I would be taking charge of the situation.

gingerfamily · August 2011

It's obviously important to your husband so let them come in and take a peek without a light on. I'm sure the light from the hallway is enough for them to see your daughter with. Just stay up and chat with them for an hour. I mean, they DID travel 14 hours to see your family. An hour is not going to hurt you.

TiffanyBerry · August 2011

I'm with you on this one - no one disturbs my sleep or hers unless it's an emergency. They won't be the one putting her back to sleep, they won't be the primary one responsible for her behavior when she melts down, and they are adults and can just hold onto their knickers for a few more hours.

Sept1799 · August 2011

mrsh0606:
It's obviously important to your husband so let them come in and take a peek without a light on. I'm sure the light from the hallway is enough for them to see your daughter with. Just stay up and chat with them for an hour. I mean, they DID travel 14 hours to see your family. An hour is not going to hurt you.

I agree with this.......its not like they live close and they will be stopping by anytime to see your lo.

Its a once in a blue moon thing........Pick your battles, I don't see this as being one of them. IMO

lelekay · August 2011

I guess it depends on how long they'll be here. Only one or two nights? Yeah, I'd let them peek, even though I agree that LO's sleep is first priority. But if they're staying for a week or so, they can wait until the morning.

rnfromtn · August 2011

I am super uptight usually, but in this case, I kinda gotta side with your DH. What is the harm in them taking a peak. They aren't hyper 4 year olds, they are adults who understand how to be quiet when peaking in on a child. I would let them. Worst case scenario, you LO wakes up. Is it really that hard to get LO to go back to bed? DS has a pretty solid routine, but when we were visiting family in another state, my best friend wasn't able to stop by until after 9 PM. This was obviously after DS"s bed time. She peaked in on him, no problem. He later did wake up incidentally and (gasp!) we let him get up and come play in the living room for 20 minutes so she could see him. He went right back to sleep and his routine was fine every night after that. Loosen the reins just a little bit, just for tonight.

megann831 · August 2011

Have they ever seen her before? If not, if it were my parents, and they had never seen my child before, I know I would want to show her off right away, and if she's up for a few hours, so be it

SailorGray · August 2011

seanandcallie:
Honestly... I think you're being a bit uptight on this.

Yea, let them see her.

I remember your post from earlier and I totally get the whole privacy thing, but just let them take a peek. Don't let it turn into a argument when it doesn't need to be one.

WonderWoman27 · August 2011

haha, you sound exactly like me. I would tell you to loosen up a tiny bit and let them take a little peek. I know it's easier for me to say that then you let them do it. Trust me, I would be acting how you are acting now. Maybe they can go in one at a time and be super quiet. Instead of turning on the bedroom light, use a hallway light so its not as bright in her room. These are the crazy things I do when I want to check on her before I go to bed. I totally understand it's the worst if LO wakes up in the middle of the night too. GL, with whatever decision you make.

SaranJonathan · August 2011

I would ask DH to speak with them about coming in your bedroom without an invitation however I would let them see her though, they did fly 14 hours to see her.

bwralc · August 2011

I guess I'm one of the only ones who would say no to a peek. DD is a light sleeper and if we as much as turn her doorknob she wakes up and it is near impossible to get her back down. She still sleeps with her white noise machine because I need to be able to walk down the hall without waking her up. Usually when she wakes in the middle of the night it's at least a 3 hour ordeal. We do bend on start times for bed and for naps but once she is down, I wouldn't wake her for anyone. If I had a easy going kid I'm sure my thoughts on this would be totally different.

Que*Syrah · August 2011

It sounds like you bedshare? Unless you all go to bed at the same time and don't make any move/noise/etc. after DD goes to bed how is them coming in for a quick peek any different than you coming to bed at night?

JLGY · September 2011

Yes, you're too uptight. It's not a big deal.

4realyo · September 2011

i would lock my bedroom door. seriously - your inlaws have no reason to come into your bedroom period. plus i wouldnt' want to get woken up at midnight, let alone have them wake up my kid. the kid will still be there in the morning. seriously.

Temp36641187503164 · September 2011

4realyo:
i would lock my bedroom door. seriously - your inlaws have no reason to come into your bedroom period. plus i wouldnt' want to get woken up at midnight, let alone have them wake up my kid. the kid will still be there in the morning. seriously.

Ha, this.

law8296 · September 2011

I've learned that there are special occasions and on those special occasions I'm ok with interruptions or slight pauses from my OCDness about my child's "schedule."

BKHeightsGirl · September 2011

They are flying 14 hours, what's another 6-7 hours to wait? What if they "peek" in on her and it screws up her sleep for the rest of the night and then she's cranky the entire next day? What if she ends up sleeping a lot of the next day since they woke her up the night before? Are you going to continuously peek in on her while she sleeps?

Sorry, I think they can just wait. It's really not that big of a deal.

first-time-mama · September 2011

AT first I totally agreed with not going into your room. Unless I missed it or it wasnt said in the last post about 14 HOUR FLIGHT! Its not like they live a few hours away I would totally let them sneak a peek. If she wakes up I promise you it wont scar her for life or mess her schedule up for the next week it might be messed up for half a day or day at most.. Boo whoo, let them see her! Sorry if that came across rude lol but really its a long flight and they are probably dying to see her.

mamabear0813 · September 2011

Since they are staying with you, yeah they can wait. It's not like they are going to be in a hotel across town and won't be at your house all day and all night for their trip. Heck talk to them when they get in and let them know you'll bring DD in as soon as she wakes up and you'll go back to sleep so they can have as much time as they want with her while you sleep in! HA.

jayhawk2003 · September 2011

TiffanyBerry:
I'm with you on this one - no one disturbs my sleep or hers unless it's an emergency. They won't be the one putting her back to sleep, they won't be the primary one responsible for her behavior when she melts down, and they are adults and can just hold onto their knickers for a few more hours.

This.

Update to: Am I too uptight?

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