Wedding before or after the baby?

beccanmatt08 · August 2011

My wedding was planned for next month but due to problems with the venue we canceled it and planned for next year. well this morning i get a positive pt back!!! Besides freaking out im wondering what should i do about the wedding. I have my dress but its not one for someone prego. I also want the baby to have parents with the same last name soooo what should i do?? Wait until the baby? small ceremony now? or ceremony now and party after the baby?? any ideas anyone has been though this id like to know what you did???

Sunshine+Luv · August 2011

My friend who this happened to got married with just their parents there at the court house. Post baby she had a big ceremony and a reception, everyone was in the loop that this was a renewal of vows, it was a blast.

elainej · August 2011

If you're certain you want to get married, I'd pick a different venue and get it done. It is possible to have a nice wedding without a year of planning. In my opinion, the only reason to wait till after the baby comes is if you're not 100% certain you want to marry the father.

ab0verubiez · August 2011

I use to be a bridal consultant at David's Bridal a few years ago and I dealt with many expectant brides, some who were just a few months along and some who look like they were due at any moment. I agree with elainej, if you two are totally certain that you want to be married choose another venue and move forward with getting married.

Jazzyashes84 · August 2011

Get married now!

Congrats!!

beachbunni307 · August 2011

Well, I disagree that the only reason to wait would be if your not certain. I had the perfect wedding...but I never could have planned it in a month.

If it were me, I would plan during the pregnancy for a date after the baby is born. No need to rush a quickie wedding if you're going to do it anyway. You know you're going to get married, might as well make it exactly what you want.

That being said, I had a friend who got married quietly (just the two of them) because her hubby to be was in the military and being stationed out of state and she was going with him. They had a wedding a year later and only close friends and family knew that they had actually been married a year already. It still felt like their wedding day.

Good luck, whatever you decide. Wedding planning is is full time job when you're doing it yourself.

kiarstin · August 2011

you should be able to fit into your dress for some time, if you wanted to have your wedding sooner. My husband and I really wanted to have a small wedding for us, and a big wedding. Seems your big day is so hectic you miss out on some stuff. A priest came to our family home (pretty cheap, and way less gross then running of to a courthouse) and married us in front of 12 of our closest family then a caterer made us a nice meal. It was amazing 6 months later I had a big 150 person wedding. Both were amazing and I wouldnt have had it any other way!

opieandtoe · August 2011

I really like the idea of having something small now and then a big celebration after the baby....its unfortunate the plans had to be rearranged for you and really in the end I don't think it will matter but if you and your guy were sure about marriage before why wait?!

lisa5201 · August 2011

Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like rushing into a wedding before the baby comes makes it look like your ashamed of being unmarried parents. If your pregnant, then the jig is up.... I personally dislike the idea of a pregnant bride, feels so shotgun wedding to me, even if that's not the case. Just personal opinion. If you love each other and are committed to each other than having the rings and paper beforehand isn't really such a big deal. Not that you shouldn't get married, just that you shouldn't feel like you HAVE to.

That being said, having a newborn is tough. Really really tough! I'd plan during pregnancy, then have the wedding when the baby is 6 months or so and not so dependent on you. That way you can really enjoy your big day and have time to work out to fit into your dress.

JosF21 · August 2011

Go to the courthouse now and wait until later to have a big wedding and party (if thats what you want). If you're like most women you probably don't feel so hot right now and you don't want to feel crappy and play host to a whole bunch of people! Congrats and good luck to you!

adamstodrake · August 2011

My cousin was pregnant when they had a small courthouse wedding and then on their year anniversary they had a big wedding/vowel renewal.

smacb · August 2011

I'd go to city hall or elope.

TrendyTina · August 2011

Get married now. Congrats!

dojo1 · August 2011

You could always opt for this easy look:

No concerns if the A/C breaks down in this dress!

FIRST311 · August 2011

My dh and I were planning a spring wedding when we found out. We got married last weekend. Our pastor married us in a small ceremony, we had a reception after and it was perfect. The most important thing to us was the vows and the promises we made to each other. Not the big party. I don't regret a thing. Hope that helps.

Enami · September 2011

We were planning on a wedding next June, and still are (maybe May, all depedent on classes and graduation). Baby will have FI last name on birth certificate, and I'll change mine next year. I don't think weddings and babies need to be dependent on each other, so do whatever you feel comfortable with.

lalyssalou · September 2011

Luckily I found out I was pregnant just three weeks before my wedding. We went through with it anyway, as I wasn't showing yet. Although I did throw up in my hair while getting ready that morning, and I played it off like nerves. Angel

Looking back, however, I really wished we had just eloped or gone to the court house. Would have saved me a boat load of money.

kimd7773 · September 2011

lisa5201:
Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like rushing into a wedding before the baby comes makes it look like your ashamed of being unmarried parents. If your pregnant, then the jig is up.... I personally dislike the idea of a pregnant bride, feels so shotgun wedding to me, even if that's not the case. Just personal opinion. If you love each other and are committed to each other than having the rings and paper beforehand isn't really such a big deal. Not that you shouldn't get married, just that you shouldn't feel like you HAVE to.
That being said, having a newborn is tough. Really really tough! I'd plan during pregnancy, then have the wedding when the baby is 6 months or so and not so dependent on you. That way you can really enjoy your big day and have time to work out to fit into your dress.

kimd7773 · September 2011

I agree with lisa5201. Keep planning the wedding but plan for it to be the way that you really want it to be. Don't settle. And as far as having the same last name and stuff, you know what is in your heart and so does God. (if you are a spiritual person) Take care of yourself and your baby while you are pregnant and do some planning over the next year. Enjoy it and try to relax.

Good Luck!

salt78 · September 2011

kiarstin:
My husband and I really wanted to have a small wedding for us, and a big wedding. Seems your big day is so hectic you miss out on some stuff. A priest came to our family home (pretty cheap, and way less gross then running of to a courthouse) and married us in front of 12 of our closest family then a caterer made us a nice meal. It was amazing 6 months later I had a big 150 person wedding. Both were amazing and I wouldnt have had it any other way!

You would have been eaten alive on the Knot etiquette board.

sawyerthedestroyer · September 2011

I completely disagree with the notion that the only reason to wait would be if you're not 100% sure. My H and I were engaged when we got a BFP. It was important to H that his parents be there when we got married and the only time they could come was after the baby was born. Us getting married after had absolutely nothing to do with being 100% sure. Anyone stuck on the antiquated idea that you must be married before having a baby needs to get it into their heads that it is 2011 and society doesn't give a frack about that kind of stuff anymore.

We had a small, family-only ceremony with a notary in a public garden followed by dinner at our favorite restaurant. That's what we wanted and there are no regrets.

OP, you need to do what is right for you. If you've always dreamed of your wedding being a certain way, then plan for that wedding. Whether it's before or after baby is dependent on how long it takes for you to plan. If you choose to get married after baby, you can put your FI's last name on the birth certificate and then change your name when you get married. Best of luck to you!

Wedding before or after the baby?

Re: Wedding before or after the baby?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards