2nd Trimester
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Grandmother driving me crazy!
Hi laides. My grandma is driving me crazy. I was wondering during labor and delivery after you have the baby if they do everything to the baby in the room or do they take it to nursery to do tests, etc. Reason why I ask, is Grandma is driving me crazy saying they do this but last time someone in my family was born was 1991. I will be in a birthing suite and from the looks of the tour, it looks like they have everything set up in the room to do what's needed. She is being demanding wanting to be in the room if so and I told her no. I just want it to be me and husband. She said I hurt her feelings saying I don't want her there. I do want her there but in the waiting room. My mom and mother in law understand but this woman has went off her rocker.
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Re: Grandmother driving me crazy!
1. Every hospital is different. Call yours and ask.
2. Stop arguing with your Grandma. Learn the phrase "I'm sorry you feel that way". and then change the subject.
3. When you get to the hospital, they have an option to check you in anonymously. If you do this than the hospital will not even acknowledge that you are a patient. No one gets your room number unless you give it to them. This also means no flower deliveries or anything. Alternately you tell the nurse "no one in the room unless I say so" and they will not let anyone in the room unless you say so.
They do some things in the room immediately- agar test (spelling?) footprints, id bracelet, eyedrops, I forget what else. They wrap the baby in a blanket and hat and hand her back to mama for BFing/ cuddling. Then after about an hour they take LO to the nursery to get warmed up under the lamps and then get a bath. A few hours later LO returns to you (this gives you a little time for much needed rest). At least that was the experience at my hospital.
I would ask your mom to have a talk with your Grandma.
If you have the balls to say it, say 'The only people that will be in there when I give birth will be the two people who made this baby and the required doctor/nurses'
And then drop it, if she continues to push, change the subject. You've let her know how you feel and she needs to respect that.
As for what the hospitol does, you have to call as they are all different in their procedures and practices.
I don't get why some people feel a birth is a public event and can't take a 'no' answer form the birth mom. Do you bring family members to watch you get a PAP smear? No! because that would be weird. A vaginal birth puts your legs up in the air and your vag in all it's glory on full display with spotlights for sometimes up to a couple hours of pushing. I saw my birth video of my daughter being born and it's horrifying. I could only watch it on mute because the sounds of me screaming and huffing and puffing brought me back to a time that I'm still scared to go down again. A birth is messy, it's shows your lady parts including your asshoIe being stretched open in abnormal ways, you may even poop on the table...do you want your grandmother to see that? lol
Tell her no, you're sorry she's butt-hurt about your decision but that's your final answer.
My baby never left the room--I would def. check with the hospital.
I am sure every hospital has their own policies on that but my SIL had her baby May 2010. I was in the room as her coach for delivery and they did everything in the room. The only time they took the baby out was when my SIL asked them to so she could nap.
As far as your grandmother coming in for the delivery I would just tell her the policy is only one family member in the room with you...then you can take the blame off you and put it on the hospital. Just a thought.
Good luck!
The hospital that I delivered at they do most everything in the room until it's time for the baby to get a bath... In which case, they gave us the option to either stay with the baby or one of us or neither of us. DH went along while I crashed.
From there, if you wanted the LO to be in the nursery it was just fine.
I agree with everyone else, just check with the hospital you are going to be giving birth at.
As for the Grandma, just be honest with her. Just say there are only a couple/few people that you feel comfortable with being in there. I am having this problem with my father right now. He was in the room for my sister's baby and so just expects that he will be able to be in the room for mine, and quite frankly the only people I want in there are my husband and possibly my sister and mom/mother in law.
It will be YOUR day. Don't let her ruin it for you. If she really loves you she will understand and respect your wishes.
When I had DS he never left the room that we were in. It was great having him in our site at all times. If we had him circumsized he would of been taken out for that, that that would of been it.
Check with your hospital, the hospital where I deliver does not have a nursery for healthy full-term babies. I had a c/s with my first, after the baby left the OR, DH and DS were taken to the recovery/birthing room and everything, all tests and bath, was done there. When we were moved down to recovery the baby roomed-in the whole time.
Each hospital is different. Good luck!