Lurker with a Mat leave/announcement question--Long
amor_eterno
member
Hi ladies!
I'm currently a 4th year teacher that's coming back to a new school this year after a layoff. Although I'm tenured, since I was out all last year I won't qualify for FMLA which I'm disappointed about but really expected. Ideally, I wanted to come back next September but realistically, I want/need about 6-8 weeks. We go back tomorrow so I've been holding back from talking to my principal because I wanted to make sure that I was on our employment system and really staffed before letting them know. I knew I was pregnant when I accepted the job but I was only 4 weeks and felt that it was way too early to say anything.
I spoke to our union rep today about my situation and she says that counting all of my sick days, I would only be able to take about a month (if that!!!) off after having the baby. She mentioned that if I took 10 consecutive sick days, I could possibly be considered AWOL and terminated, so I'd have to play around with sick leave and PB days to break them up. She also said that if my principal is nice enough he could work around my time so that I'd be able to take off a little longer. If I were to be terminated, I'd have 10 months to find another teaching position before I'd lose my seniority/pay and it might be hard to secure another position with a termination on my record.
Here's what I need some advice on:
1. Do I take the union's advice and wait longer to tell my principal? My fear is that the longer I wait, the more "upset" he'd be and the less likely to try and work with me so I could take more time.
2. Would you risk it and just try your luck with the job market after mat leave, or would you bite the bullet and leave LO at home at about 1.5 months old? DH says that if my principal doesn't want to work with me, I should just quit and we'd "figure it out." While I'm really happy that he's so supportive, after being w/out a 2nd income this past year, I really don't like our financial picture and know that we could be in a much better place if I'm working. On the flip side, I'm already pretty apprehensive about having to go back so soon and LO isn't even here yet. I can't even imagine how it would affect me emotionally to actually have to leave LO at home so soon.
I'm sorry it turned out so long but I'm getting so stressed and sad about this and I know you guys would have some good advice. TIA for all your responses!
Cycle 11 - Clomid 100mg + Follistim + hCg trigger + IUI= BFP!
Beta/P4 #1(13dpo): 94.5/47, Beta/P4 #2 (17dpo): 625/19.5, Beta/P4 #3 (19dpo): 1285/18.2
BFP Chart
Re: Lurker with a Mat leave/announcement question--Long
I think I just needed to get everything out because I'm feeling much better about it already. I'm planning on talking to my AP by Friday if the opportunity presents itself and then tell my principal. The AP is the go-to person for my grade level so at least I can get her reaction before I talk to my principal. I guess because teaching isn't the job of my dreams it's hard for me to put in perspective but I'm sure it'll work itself out. I realize that DH and I should really set a strong financial plan in place in case I decide not to go back for whatever reason.
Cycle 11 - Clomid 100mg + Follistim + hCg trigger + IUI= BFP!
Beta/P4 #1(13dpo): 94.5/47, Beta/P4 #2 (17dpo): 625/19.5, Beta/P4 #3 (19dpo): 1285/18.2
BFP Chart
If you can afford to stay home and that's what you want to do, then try to pursue the leave you want and if they come back and say no, then quit.
But, if you don't want to give up your tenure and you can't afford to sah, then yes, you should suck it up and go back at 1.5 months, or however long they would be willing to give you. I wouldn't go in and expect 12 weeks, especially given the time of year (end of the school year). A lot of women return to work at 6 weeks, and there are also other who return to work on a lot less.
I see you're due in March. So if you go back end of April, that's what? 2 months until summer. Then you'll be off all summer correct?
Sorry, when are you actually due?
Slightly off topic: WTH is your union for if it cannot stand up for a tenured worker who is pregnant and needs more than 10 days off to have the baby? Do your union reps know WTF a union is for? Seriously. This actually makes me more annoyed than your employer's potential reaction to the news.
Without knowing all the details, I'd be upfront with the principal ASAP. You will never know what his/her reaction will be and how accomodating (or not) s/he will be until you have a discussion. Either way if you want to stay in the profession, the last thing you will want to do is burn any bridges at your current school.
It looks like you're due in March? If so, you'd only have a short amount of time left in the school year before summer break. I think your principal would be much more likely to work with you to find a coverage plan for the last month or two of the school year, if s/he know you'll be coming back in September.
As another possibility, if you really had to go back when LO was 1.5 months, could your husband take FMLA from his job until you're off for the summer? Even if you weren't home yourself, having LO home with Dad (or a grandparent?) seems like the next best option.
I talked to my AP today and she was great about it. She suggested that I wait until sometime next week to talk to the principal since things would be calmer and he'd be better able to discuss this. If he can work with me, for an extra 2 weeks, I'd be able to stay away until the first week of May. That would really help me out but we'll see.
Thank you ladies SO much for your opinions!
Cycle 11 - Clomid 100mg + Follistim + hCg trigger + IUI= BFP!
Beta/P4 #1(13dpo): 94.5/47, Beta/P4 #2 (17dpo): 625/19.5, Beta/P4 #3 (19dpo): 1285/18.2
BFP Chart