Babies: 6 - 9 Months

re: Crappy Friends

Have any of your friends let you down since getting pregnant/having LO? Juicy stories are welcome.

 

I have a few friends who had been TTC for months/years when I found out I was pregnant. I never wanted kids and never thought SO could have them, so we never thought we'd be pregnant, ever. Each one of them took jabs at me every chance possible until I just shunned them completely. They all live in NC, I'm in NE - so every picture or status on FB, they had something rude to say. Needless to say, I haven't spoken to any of them since. I won't even acknowledge them in public when I go home, because what's the point? 

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Re: re: Crappy Friends

  • Most of my friends just plain stopped talking to me. Or they would talk behind my back and act all nice to me while I was around. I could care less either way.

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  • Oh yep! (and I second the beatdown comment you left for Izzie, we must be related cuz I don't even know her friend and I'd love to get some licks in)

    Anyway, I have a friend from HS, used to be best friends. I don't know wth her problem is but if she's not the center of attention, she doesn't show up. I threw her baby shower, she didn't come to mine. She had a baby shower for her 4th baby, I went, invited her to mine, she didn't come but her cousins (that I don't know that well) came and told me my friend doesn't come unless it's about her.

    When she was getting a divorce, I let her stay in a house I had for $200 a month rent, she trashed my house, wrote me hot checks and left about $8K in damages to my home.

    She's a peach.

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  • That's so rude. I was 25 when I had LO so most of my friends were still young and unmarried, not thinking about kids, getting wasted and going out dancing kinda people. Nothing juicy, they just weren't thrilled to listen to LO cry and talk about food and have to see my pump sitting out. We've kinda just stopped calling each other. 
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  • Several friends who live locally have yet to meet LO.  They have been invited over multiple times.  Suggestions made to meet up for brunch or whatever.  Excuses thrown back.  I don't get it but I don't lose sleep over it.
  • I've posted before about my friend who was planning her wedding while I was preg. It really is a shame, because we were close, I was MOH.  She never asks about LO, and blew off her baptism.  For a BF, she has not seen her since early June. She is one of those ppl who is very wrapped up in herself, and I can't change that about her.

    While I was pregnant and sick alot, or on bedrest and would have to cancel plans she commented one too many times "That baby is ruining everything!" in a sarcastic tone. There is only so many times I want to hear that.

    This is also the girl who wanted money from each bridal attendant to help pay for the limo the day of the wedding.  I think I need to cut my losses ;-)



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  • Yeah one of my friends doesn't get the hell we went through with the unexpected early delivery, two week NICU stay, all sorts of follow-ups for both me (severe pre-e with still lingering hypertension) and DD (multiple birth defects), plus another week in the hospital for DD's surgery and the weekly follow-up appts that created.

    After the c-section, high BP and running all around the NICU in the days following the c-section, it took a good 10 weeks to feel remotely human again. Then I started back to work at 12 weeks so another few weeks of not feeling human. I didn't bounce back in a week!

    I've seen this friend once since having DD and not for lack of trying either. Then got accused the other day of shunning her for my "mommy friends". I texted a few times in the spring to get together, then again just the other day, and never heard anything back. But got accused of ignoring her for my "mommy friends", which is so not the truth. I've seen others a few more times, but not much. My schedule is just too nuts between work, my appts and DD's appts. But I've tried anyway.

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  • I was on the other side...most of my friends had babies well before I did. They started excluding me on outings, dinner, etc. . It made me sad to grow apart, but I understood and I don't think they were necessarily crappy friends but I kind of become non-existent to them.   

    Thankfully, I have another great core group of friends.  I am the only one in that group with a LO but nothing had changed. They see DS all the time, and DH and I hang out with them w/o LO.  It's been great to have that balance with them.  

     

     

     

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  • I think I am that friend :(  Not intentionally, but I think sometimes when you have 3 kids, it's so easy to get overwhelmed and not be able to do the things with/for friends that you want.
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  • Well you heard the worst of mine. I did have another friend though who was having TTGP and when I got pregnant with DD stopped  speaking to me because "if she wasn't pregnant no one else was allowed to be either" Her words, not mine

  • imageIzzlesmom:

    no one else was allowed to be either

    I see how that worked out for her.
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  • One of my BFFs automatically assumes that I never want to go out anymore sans kid & thinks that all I'll talk about are poopy diapers because that's what happened with our mutual friend who has a kid. We don't live in the same area, but her e-mails have dwindled and when I do visit her she's less than interested in trying to get together. It annoys the heck out of me.
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  • I have no juicy stories. I've grown apart from some friends just because I have less free time and whenever I go anywhere it has to be baby friendly, etc. But my good close friends have always been supportive. I may not see them as much as I used to, but thats not anyones fault.

    On the other hand I've gotten a lot closer to other friends (ones who have kids), so that kind of makes up for it.

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  • Wow I can soo relate...I had a friend that was going thru fertility treatments.  I wasn't supposed to even know about it but my MIL told me.  Well bam I got pregnant & her family wouldn't hardly talk to me or tell me congrats.  Our families are close well WERE close.  Well crap I wasn't even supposed to know about it soo what if DH & I were trying (lol we weren't but we weren't being overally careful either).  I guess she expected everyone to stop living their lives until she got  pregnant.  Which thankgoodness she did right after I did.  But now its just awkward.  She acts soo rude & above me for whatever reason. 

    While I was pregnant b4 she found out that she was, she wouldn't even look at me or talk to me.  It really upset me.  But DH toldme to just get a backbone & get over it which I have but I'd rather not see her b/c she's just rude.

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  • image1sTimeMom2Ella:
    imageIzzlesmom:

    no one else was allowed to be either

    I see how that worked out for her.

    Lol yeah well you know....

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