Tell me about Bachelorette party etiquette

firsttogo · August 2011

So, we are having a bach party for DH's friend's fiance. We are taking a bus into Chicago to a Tranny bar then back to our hometown to bar-hop. Rather simple you would think right?

So my questions are:

When the invite went out, cost per person was up in the air. We initially though around 30 per person, but after tallying it all up, it is now about 36. While it is only 6 dollars more, it is also for 25 people, so not something I can eat KWIM. Is it rude to mention the new cost now to give people a heads up?

Also, there is a disagreement between a bridesmaid and I about whether or not we can tell people to BYOB for the bus. There will be jello shots, vodka gummy bears? ect, but is it a no to have people bring anything else they want ?

Thanks! Can you tell I party a lot?....

desabean · August 2011

I think it is perfectly acceptable to send out an e-mail letting everyone know there is an extra $6.00 charge and what will be on the bus. Indicate that if they would like other things they may bring them or (if you are comfortable) you can take a few suggestions and add that to the total and let them all know the damage when they get on the bus. It would probably only be an extra $5-$10 per person I'd imagine) $36.00 is a friggin steal for a b-lette party. (I realize you all will probably spend more elsewhere but still).

Have fun!!

naflmj · August 2011

I think it's perfectly reasonable to ask people to contribute the extra $6...if it was just a handful of friends I may let it slide but with that amount I'd ask for the money. And, no, I think it's fine for people to bring their favorite drink for the bus.

lrrb · August 2011

Um yes you need to tell people the new price. They will just have to understand, just tell them why. Also yes I would tell them what will be provided on the bus and that they are more than welcome to also bring whatever they wish too!

GuitaristsGirl · August 2011

I agree with the others!! I think people expect these things, just be casual about it. . .

"Hey girls, blah blah blah. . . I just wanted to give you a heads up that, after all is said and done, the total per person is going to be $36. . . Also, so-and-so and I will be providing x, y, and z for the party bus!! Feel free to bring any other treats or beverages that you might enjoy for the trip "

The only other thing I might think about is whether you'll have plastic cups and etc.!

LVBlvd · August 2011

I agree with Desabean. Totally fine to send a quick email and tell exactly what you said! We will have x, y, and z - feel free to bring whatever else you want! And that it will cost $6 more.

Have fun! I'm jealous : )

Ali212 · August 2011

I agree with the others that $6 isn't a big increase at all and is totally reasonable to ask the people to contribute the additional amount but would definitely make sure they know. I would just let them know when confirming the details that final cost is now $36 based on everyone confirming, etc. I also think it's fine for people to bring their favorite drink...alternatively, you could round to $40 per person and offer to have a few additional drink options (beyond jello shots).

krissyh21 · August 2011

$6 is nothing and you should inform people that is was slightly higher then anticipated. Not like it is a $20-$30 increase that people would freak over. As for BYOB, tell everyone what you are planning on providing and then say if they would like other drinks they would need to BYOB.

krissyh21 · August 2011

Oh and how do you make vodka gummys - do you just soak them in vodka?

firsttogo · August 2011

https://www.instructables.com/id/Drunken-Gummies-Vodka-Infused-Gummi-Bears/

that is how she is doing it! The MOH is having issues, and thinks we can not tell the others about the cost increase because it would be rude. I can not come up with the extra, and the sister of the bride feels that we need to provide all alcohol... can you tell they are young broke 21 year olds....

MyColonyNJ · August 2011

I agree with everyone else. Just send an e-mail saying the the official cost is $36, please bring the $$ the day of, this is what is available for the bus, bring whatever else you want.

I would also break down what is included in the cost. Not specific like, the bus cost $12.33, etc. But, say something like - "The total cost is $36, this includes the bus, the cost of the show, and Jelloshots (or whatever) on the bus." Remember, the cost does not include drinks at the show or drinks when we go bar hopping after the show."

Obviously, use whatever wording you want, but broke 21 yr olds might think everything is included.

nolachick11 · August 2011

I would tell them about it just so they can be prepared and I agree with pp's just say you are welcome to bring x,y,z etc.

I just went to a bachelorette party this weekend at the beach. My last best friend is getting married! We were just told to bring ourselves, our adult drinks, and the condo was taken care of! Ours was totally laid back and we had a chef come cook dinner for us!

Have fun and let us know how those vodka gummy bears are!

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