So DH texts me and lets me know he was offered a spot to go to a big conference for work. The dates haven't been finalized, but will likely be the second week of October. He went to this conference last year, and it was basically a week long drunk fest. He told me it would be different this year, and he could catch a flight and be back home in 3 hours. I'm not exactly excited for this, we're discussing it tonight. What would you do?
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I would not be okay with this. I'm due October 13th and DH will not be staying anywhere overnight during that month (he also won't be drinking much if/when he goes out without me, I told him it will be 'sober October').
Especially some place so far. It's not like you just drive to the airport and there is a plane ready waiting for you. While first labours often take awhile, I would simply not be comfortable with him being so far away in the event that something should go wrong.
My husband travels about 80% of the time and even he has put a travel stop two weeks before my due date and two weeks after. We agreed on a one night exception, but it's driving distance and he could be back in two hours, and it's for an important meeting, not a "drunk fest." I'd have A Discussion with my husband if he was proposing this.
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My DH is going to China Saturday for work and I'm nervous about something happening while he's gone! I couldn't imagine him going in October, nor him even wanting to go... I'd say no!
SAHM to the sweetest little girl and boy... I love my job!
Unless your DH would lose his job if he doesn't go then I would put my foot down and say no. There is no way that I would be comfortable with my Husband being 3 hrs away by plane (delays of all kinds can happen).
if it was for pleasure, I would say no way. I would want him to be nearby.
but even though it might be a drunkfest, it is still a work event. networking happens over alcohol. If I thought it was good for his career, I would tell him to go.
I would also reserve the right to tell him not to go closer to the time, if the doctor made early labour predictions.
in the end, it would be his choice. I dont need him to have the baby. However, he might decide he doesnt want to miss it.
I'm a pretty easy going wife, but hells to the no for that one. DH has known since our BFP in January not to schedule any trips for September and October.
I'm a pretty easy going wife, but hells to the no for that one. DH has known since our BFP in January not to schedule any trips for September and October.
100% agree with this! My husband is an engineer working on a big project (new Auburn stadium) which is a 3.5 hour plane ride away from us, and he was due to start making visits in September. We agreed that we would not travel for September and October and possible even early November. I feel awful, because this is a huge project for him that he's work so hard on, but we both agree that our family is more important and somebody else from his work can make the site visits in his place for those 2 months.
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My DH was supposed to travel next week for work. My due date is 9/29- next week was the last trip he had planned, he's skipping anything else for the rest of the month. But, after my doctors appointment yesterday, reality set in for both of us that we may not have as much time as we thought, and he talked to his boss and canceled his work trip. Even if nothing happens early, he'd rather be here and have nothing happen than be on the trip and risk missing out if something does happen.
I'm a pretty easy going wife, but hells to the no for that one. DH has known since our BFP in January not to schedule any trips for September and October.
This. My SO travels a lot for work but he will not be going anywhere further than an hour drive around my due date. If this was a mandatory trip that was planned months in advance, maybe, but it does not sound like that is the case.
all of this. but my dh wouldnt even want to go, he'd hate to risk not being around if something happened.
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My DH and I are both pretty career-oriented but this is not a good idea. There will be plenty of other opportunities, so he needs to pass on this. No reasonable manager/company is going to frown on that decision with how close your due date is. And air travel is in no way reliable enough (planes don't leave every 10 minutes, most planes are completely full) to count on a quick return if you needed him.
My DH and I never tell each other what we can or can't do, but the birth of your child will be one of the most important things in your life... as opposed to a conference that he's not even going to remember in five years. If he didn't realize that on his own we'd probably end up in maritial counseling pretty quick.
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I would not want SO to go anywhere during Oct either. He is leaving for 3-4 days (only a 2.5hr flight) towards the end of Septemeber, and even though I am not due until the end of Oct....it still makes me nervous that he is not going to be around.
So I would probably (okay....I would....) put my foot down and say no to traveling in Oct.
Thanks for your thoughts. Over textmessage its hard to figure out how serious he is about it. I told him two months ago when he first found out he was getting considered that I didn't think it was a good idea, which he (sort of) agreed with. It would be a great opportunity but bad timing. I'm so much of a "what if" person.. there's too many what ifs in this situation for me to be comfortable with him going.
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I'm obviously in the minority here, but unless my OB thought labor was imminent I would say he could/should go. Most FTMs go past their due dates. A couple of weeks out, I'd be okay with those odds if it was important for his career.
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To speak to his "I could be home in 3 hours" statement, keep in mind you run the risk of going into labor at 2AM when there would not be any flights until the next morning.
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Re: DH traveling vent
I would not be okay with this. I'm due October 13th and DH will not be staying anywhere overnight during that month (he also won't be drinking much if/when he goes out without me, I told him it will be 'sober October').
Especially some place so far. It's not like you just drive to the airport and there is a plane ready waiting for you. While first labours often take awhile, I would simply not be comfortable with him being so far away in the event that something should go wrong.
Praying for Baby Camryn
Praying for Baby Scarlett
Remembering Baby Adam
Unless your DH would lose his job if he doesn't go then I would put my foot down and say no. There is no way that I would be comfortable with my Husband being 3 hrs away by plane (delays of all kinds can happen).
if it was for pleasure, I would say no way. I would want him to be nearby.
but even though it might be a drunkfest, it is still a work event. networking happens over alcohol. If I thought it was good for his career, I would tell him to go.
I would also reserve the right to tell him not to go closer to the time, if the doctor made early labour predictions.
in the end, it would be his choice. I dont need him to have the baby. However, he might decide he doesnt want to miss it.
Oscar born October 2011
Miscarriage at 8 weeks (August 2013)
DD due September 1, 2014
100% agree with this! My husband is an engineer working on a big project (new Auburn stadium) which is a 3.5 hour plane ride away from us, and he was due to start making visits in September. We agreed that we would not travel for September and October and possible even early November. I feel awful, because this is a huge project for him that he's work so hard on, but we both agree that our family is more important and somebody else from his work can make the site visits in his place for those 2 months.
My DH was supposed to travel next week for work. My due date is 9/29- next week was the last trip he had planned, he's skipping anything else for the rest of the month. But, after my doctors appointment yesterday, reality set in for both of us that we may not have as much time as we thought, and he talked to his boss and canceled his work trip. Even if nothing happens early, he'd rather be here and have nothing happen than be on the trip and risk missing out if something does happen.
all of this. but my dh wouldnt even want to go, he'd hate to risk not being around if something happened.
My DH and I are both pretty career-oriented but this is not a good idea. There will be plenty of other opportunities, so he needs to pass on this. No reasonable manager/company is going to frown on that decision with how close your due date is. And air travel is in no way reliable enough (planes don't leave every 10 minutes, most planes are completely full) to count on a quick return if you needed him.
My DH and I never tell each other what we can or can't do, but the birth of your child will be one of the most important things in your life... as opposed to a conference that he's not even going to remember in five years. If he didn't realize that on his own we'd probably end up in maritial counseling pretty quick.
I would not want SO to go anywhere during Oct either. He is leaving for 3-4 days (only a 2.5hr flight) towards the end of Septemeber, and even though I am not due until the end of Oct....it still makes me nervous that he is not going to be around.
So I would probably (okay....I would....) put my foot down and say no to traveling in Oct.