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Upstate NY Babies
octoberbridesrule
member
InLaw WWYD
octoberbridesrule
member
DH and I went to a wedding this past weekend in Cooperstown so we had the ILs come out and watch DD. We left around 12 and got back at midnight. I left a list of her schedule, so the ILs knew what to do. While we were gone, I had DH text his mom to see how everything was going. We did not hear anything from them that night. The next morning on Sunday, DH wakes up to get DD and discovers she has a black eye! They didn't tell us about it! I get up too to check it out. His mom finally gets up around 8 and asks, does her eye still look bad? Uh, yes, it does. He didn't say squat to his parents because they are very passive-aggressive and (in my opinion) jerks, who don't take critism well, but love to critize other people.
Well, my big questions are, Should I say something to them? Should DH say something? I know it's Wednesday and I may have missed my window... I'm more upset that they didn't tell us that it happened right away. My mom watches DD during the week and she calls me about every bump. I HATE that they were sneaky about it. What do you think about having them watch DD again? Should I wait until she can talk and tell me what happened?
Thanks. 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: InLaw WWYD
I dunno...kids are gonna get black eyes. It's even happened under my DH's watch and he is a total helicopter Dad, haha. I'm sure it wasn't due to neglect or anything. My ILs and parents wouldn't have called us because if they knew it was fine then they wouldn't want us to worry.
I would just let them know before they watch her again that you WANT them to call you if she gets hurt to any degree.
so she said does her eye still look bad and didn't say anything more? and you didn't ask?
I would have asked. I've picked both kids up from daycare and they had a scrape under their eyes(sophia opened a cabinet door and ethan was screwing around on a big wheel and fell off.)
I agree. I don't find it troubling at all that she ended up with a bruise, Charlotte is like a bull in a china shop and not very steady (plus she bruises like a peach, one of the things she got from me...). I would be bothered that they did offer any explanation on what happened though. I know that kids will get hurt, I just would also like to know what is going on with my kid. I wouldn't have expected them to call right away necessarily, but I would have just wanted to know what happened. What if it is something you could move or change around and then she wouldn't be able to hurt herself there again? If I were you, I would have just said, "aww what happened?" to DD while they were in the room and I bet an explanation would have been offered.
They told us eventually - after we were all up and my DH asked about it. Like they were hoping that it wasn't that bad and it would have cleared overnight.
I just don't know why they were so unwilling to tell us about it. That's what really bothers me....
I agree with this. E is always getting bumps and bruises. I would want to know what it was from, but would not have necessarily wanted a phone call.
I would be really upset. I can't believe they never answered a text from you guys. When we leave E w/ anyone, I check in at least a couple times... whether by call or text. I would have freaked out if no one got back to me.
I think I'd be mad at my husband too- for not standing up to his parents for his child. If my inlaws were watching Evan and he got an injury (and tried to hide it) my husband would be livid, and get to the bottom of it.
Did they not even tell you how it happened? That is unacceptable, IMO. They would not be allowed to stay w/ my kids again, unless they were open and honest. Kids get hurt... god knows Evan has gotten his share of bumps and bruises while w/ my parents or SIL... but they always tell me about it, right away! Last time my SIL watched him he fell off the couch, and she called me right after she got him calmed down. He was fine, but she just wanted to let me know. The fact they seem to be hiding something would be shady to me.
Same with my DH.
I think that's why I am upset too. We specifically asked them if everything was all right that night during the reception and they didn't tell us until the next morning.
They did give an explanation. She was running around her chair and tripped over the leg and fell on her face.
She does that with me too... run around and just fall, so I know it happens. If we ask you if something bad happened let us know!
okay, sorry... I posted before I read any responses.
I would still be upset that they tried to hide it. I mean, if it wasn't a big deal and they were all sleeping when you guys got home I could see why they didn't say anything right away. Sometimes Evan falls and I think it's barely a scrape, and he wakes up from his nap w/ a goose egg. Maybe that's what it was? What exactly happened?
I would be upset that they didn't respond to you guys when you tried to touch base. They didn't have to tell you about the incident right then and there, but it would have worried me if they were not responding.
If you decide to let them babysit again, then just let them know you want to know how DD is doing throughout the day/night. Tell them to keep the phone near by and you'll text them to see how she is. I know when my parents take E overnight, I'm borderline neurotic w/ my phone... texting to see what he's doing, how he ate etc. And my mom always sends me a few pics of him. It makes me feel a little better being away from him!
Well you know your ILs better than I do...but I wouldn't assume they were trying to hide it. I mean, there's no hiding a black eye. I really would just try to let it go. I'm sure she is totally safe with them but next time - just let them know how important it is to you that you find out about injuries right away.
And just give them a good old fashioned phone call next time. My ILs and parents don't even know how to text...that generation is just different with technology. They aren't tied to their cells like we are - and don't think to check for texts like we do.