Reality is setting in. Is it all sweet or some bittersweet?

Re: Reality is setting in. Is it all sweet or some bittersweet?

• Vieve831 member

  August 2011

  I find that DH and I have been having this same conversation a lot

  - Last night while we were lounging on the couch watching tv we admitted we probably won't be able to do this for awhile 

  - Today DH went for a motorcycle ride and said he wished I could come. We won't be able to just jump on a motorcycle for many years (w/o scheduling childcare first!)

  I agree completely that raising a child together will be very special and its what we wanted. TV watching and motorcycle rides seem trivial in comparison. But with change comes loss and there will definitely be some things we will miss. 
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• mbgrobmyer member

  August 2011

  I had my dr appt today also and now I go to every two weeks as well. Does kinda hit ya in the eyes doesn't it?  Last summer, DH and I spent the summer on our screened in back porch drinking wine and talking about out future.   We love to go out to dinner, meet friends for drinks, and schedule things at the drop of a hat.  In contrast, DH and I sat on the porch on Sunday night and talking about our much more imminent future and we also realized that while we are SO excited to meet our little boy, it is going to be saying goodbye to another lifestyle.  I think a mixture of grief and nostaligia  is an appropriate description.  We joked that we will still be on the porch, but with a baby monitor in hand! I am really excited for the next phase of our lives together, but I know I am going to miss snuggling on the couch alone, making surprise reservations to a hotel for fun, and sleeping in on Sundays only to wake up have some "fun" and make breakfast.  I think it is going to be important to try to find all those little moments even with our wonderful LO, but they will be fewer in frequency and will have to be very much enjoyed when they are able to be.  So in other words, yes, ME TOO.

  

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• ellehinck

  August 2011

  I'm there too.  DH and I were on vacation last week, and the last night I got all emotional about it.  We've been married 6 years with just the two of us.  I think it's natural to mourn the passing of this stage of life.  It's been great.  I'm sure the next stage will be just as great, if not moreso, but we're venturing into the unknown and leaving the life we know so well.  Scary stuff.

  
  

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• ashleygirl04

  August 2011

  I definitely remember feeling like thy before DS was born. Now, I have all new feelings of our life. DS is pretty easy (for an almost 3 year old) and we will be catapulted back to scheduling around an infant. Not to mention the feelings of turning DS's life upside down, the guilt that he will now have to share Mommy and Daddy, etc. It's bittersweet because I know how much he will enjoy having a lifelong friend in his little brother. But, I'm having all kinds of emotions.

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• emma&katiesmom

  August 2011

  I guess that I am feeling nostalgic for a different reason.  I know this is my last pregnancy so I am a little sad about that because I know I will miss this miracle of growing life inside me.  It will never happen again and while I'm ready for the next phase of our lives, raising our girls and our new son coming in a few weeks, I am also sad that this little guy will be our last.  (I'm getting my tubes tied so unless I am one of the tiny percentage that fails we're certain we're done....)

  I am a little concerned about going back to the baby phase.  I haven't had a kid in a diaper of any kind in two years and the idea of not sleeping through the night is a little daunting but all the negatives are TOTALLY outweighed by the joy of adding a new life to our family.  
  

  Jen

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• jb2rn member

  August 2011

  Yes and No.

  At first, I didn't think about things like that because we were not expecting we would ever get pregnant w/o aggressive fertility tx. I had been told donor eggs was something I should look into by my RE just weeks before I got my BFP....

  Also, I am 35 and dh is 33. So we have had time to be just "us".

  Now that we are closer to having baby be a part of our family, I get it. We are living in Europe, yet we will have to plan trips a bit more due to baby gear, baby's schedule, etc.

  I also was hoping to ski this winter but now I see that might be tough - no childcare without family or close friends yet.

  b/w=FSH 15.6, AMH 0.4 surprise natural BFP on 3/12/11
  DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
  
  
  
  

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• Summer20

  August 2011

  I still feel like this and we have an 18-month old!  Honestly, it is like 95% sweet, 5% bittersweet.  I wouldn't trade my daughter for anything in the world - she has brought so much love and joy to our lives it's unbelievable.  That being said, there are hard days and days when I would love to just go out to dinner or plan a vacation.  What I try to remember is that we will be able to do that again someday.  And at the rate time is flying by now I know that day will be here all too soon and then all I'll want is my little baby back to snuggle.

  Sooo... yes, there are some major lifestyle changes and that can be sad, but overall it is worth every single sacrifice.  Plus, it makes me appreciate all the time (about 5 years) that DH and I had as a married couple without kids.  We had a lot of fun and I'm glad we took that time as a couple before adding kids to the mix.
  

  
  DD february 2010 | DS october 2011
  
  
  *please excuse my typos, bumping from my iphone*

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• cikangell

  August 2011

  This entire thread is exactly why I come to The Bump.

  I was JUST thinking along this same line, and feel so much better knowing others are thinking it, too. Going out to brunch, sitting on the porch with a book, concerts on the spur of the moment, sleeping in- I will miss this for a while.

  I'm excited- really excited- but as we get closer and closer I catch myself randomly thinking- oh my goodness, we're not ready, we should have waited. Just part of grieving who you were and transitioning into who you're going to be.

  Thanks for the thread, OP..:o)
  

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• Janimal member

  August 2011

  You can still go out to dinner on the spur of the moment - you can take your kid with you.  We call them "family dates" where we go out ot dinner altogether.  Infants are easy to take places.  they can just stay in their seats and you can dine in mostly peace.  These days we are just prepared to have things to keep DD busy, and we go places that are kid friendly.  If she really needs a distraction we have tv shows on the iPhone that she can watch while we finish.  Babysitters are also valuable.

  You can still snuggle on the couch and watch TV.  Just have a DVR so you can watch on your time, and put your LO to bed at a decent hour and reserve some couch time.  Really, reserve the time to do this together - it's easy to get distracted by stuff like laundry, etc. 

  Yeah, life is different, and mostly takes a little more planning.  But with one LO, it's not so hard to maintain MOST of the things you love to do.  We still sleep in sometimes.  We just take turns.  This Saturday I am sleeping in while DH takes DD to music class.  Aaaaah.

  Get through the first couple months and you'll manage to find a groove.  It will be your new normal and things that you do will be even sweeter because you have your LO!!

  
  DMoney will be a kickass big sister
  
  

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