Okay, someone hit me with a reality check ok?
I am sitting here, with a bag of Size One diapers, a diaper bag, a travel thing of wipes, a little thing of Sudocream (best thing I have found for diaper rashes btw), and a little thing of Vaseline. None of them are for me. They are for a friend who is due a month after I am. It's her second baby as well, and she is having a second boy. She basically told her mother that since she didn't have a real baby shower for her older boy she was having a baby shower this time and was going to throw it for herself. After about two weeks of talking her down from there and telling her that it was extremely tacky and people would be offended, her mother has decided to host this shower. It's in two weeks and I am finding myself exceedingly jealous.
I had a good shower with DD. I had a good time. It was fun. I have also bought myself pretty much everything we need for number 2. I don't need anything. I know people are going to buy stuff for him etc. but my thing is I WANNA BE SPOILED BY OTHER PEOPLE!!! There I said it. My 30th birthday is a week before my due date, while there is a dinner planned, because it's a week before I am due and could pop any minute, the big party that we were going to do isn't going to happen now. It's going to be a small dinner with just few friends that way it's easy to cancel if the little man decides to make an appearance. But I don't want low key. I want a big fuss, be it a baby shower or a birthday party thrown for me. I have not told any of my friends, family or husband this is real life. But it's how I feel.
There is so much going on for other people that I am totally excited about, and there is so much going on in other peoples lives that I am starting to feel like two major life events for me are turning into afterthoughts. It's totally dumb and I would never actually do it, but part of me wants to act like a spoiled two year old and have a foot stomping temper tantrum and say, "DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME!!!"
There now please tell me I am acting like a spoiled brat, that it's not actually all about me and to grow up and maybe go eat a bowl of ice cream or something.
Re: Okay, someone hit me with a reality check ok?
you are acting like a spoiled brat.
you had your shower day. Your friend is still kind of tacky even if someone else is hosting.
People will still spoil you and your baby after she is born. All of my friends that are having a second or third baby still got lots of gifts as people came over to visit. even your older child will get gifts.
And as for the birthday - you are not 8 yrs old. Celebrate next year. Or have a big NewYears party instead.
you are getting a baby = what could be a better present than that?
Thank you. Exactly what I have been telling myself as I have been sitting her pouting.
I'm turning 30 a month before my LO is due. My b-day is this Sunday!!! But we're doing what we always do for mine and DH's birthday (his is the 8th) and that's go camping at the beach for the Labor Day weekend.
I totally get how you feel, but lucky for me, I'm not looking forward to turning 30 so I could care less if people want to celebrate it or not.
Why don't you tell DH how you feel and instead of doing something on your birthday, celebrate it 2 weeks before. There's a good chance your LO won't be 3 weeks early so you can have a bigger bash and celebrate just you!!!
I hope you get what you want. I know turning 30 for a lot of people is a big deal.
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BFP #2 8/7/13, Beta at 4w6d = 3,796
Its sucks, but I will join in and tell you that I am a spoiled brat too. While I haven't mentioned it to anybody I feel like everything is overshadowing my pregnancy and there are days that I just want to kick and scream and throw a tantrum.
I will now go eat my bowl of sugar free Ice cream that's all this brat gets
I sympathize on the shower thing (even though I'm generally against 2nd showers), because I can understand it being hard to watch a friend getting something that you really want/feel entitled to (though, as we so often say here on TB, no one is really entitled to presents and a party).
However, I have to be honest, the 30th birthday thing honestly seems sort of silly and petty. Do you really think turning 30 is a "major life event"? It's really just ... not that big of a deal.
Having said all that, ice cream does make most problems seem smaller, so yeah, that sounds like a good idea.
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Becoming a better role model for my daughter, one day at a time
I actually don't really think it's a major life event. It's just me sitting here being petty and resentful for reasons passing understanding. I know I am being stupid and I need to get over it. I just needed some other people to tell me that.
Actually, I may be in the minority here, but I think that the birthday thing would bother me more than the shower. The baby will get gifts after he arrives and as people see fit. While I do feel that every baby is special, I think showers are only appropriate for the first baby...when you have nothing.
I wanted a party for my 30th birthday. I planned it and it wasn't a big deal (just a bunch of friends going bowling and BBQing). But it was still a 30th birthday party. When so much is about the child you already have nad the pregnancy, it's hard to have a birthday when you are hugely pregnant. I should know...mine is 3 weeks before my due date. It's my 35th. I will not be doing anything other than going out to dinner with DH, but I still get wanting to have a celebration when so much is NOT about you. It's just the price we pay for becoming mothers though. ANd yes, your baby will always be your best birthday gift.
I'm with you... as much as I'm going to love this baby, it is not my birthday present. Birthday presents come in small, black boxes!
This! And I think that you are a big deal, I remember my mom talking about how it seemed like she didn't matter anymore. After becoming a mom I completely understand. No more birthday parties unless you host them and who wants to do that, you might get dinner and presents (most of the time you'll have to bake your own cake), thats nice when it happens. But even Christmas' are for the kids. The shower is a reason to celebrate the birth of a new baby, but you deserve a little attention, after all you've done all the work.
I get being bummed, but get the bowl of ice cream and then realize you had your day. I'm not having a shower at all, it's just not feasible, and while yeah sometimes that can be a bummer, I realize that it's just not do-able, so I put on my big kid pants and focus on something more positive. You had your party, and I imagine it was fantastic! I'm kind of giving the side-eye to your friend though.
I never do much for my birthday really, go out to dinner, maybe head to a bar or something with some friends, but I really never do all that much. I'll have a 3 month old when my 30th rolls around, and while yeah that means I won't be having a nice dinner out, it doesn't mean it's still not my birthday. I can probably convince my husband to bring me take out from a restaurant I like at the very least.
Still I understand you're bummed, get that ice cream, top it with the yummiest toppings you can find and then let it go. Also, let me say I appreciate that you pretty much owned up to acting like a bit of a brat and didn't get all defensive. Good on you!