Can we discuss our biological clocks?

Temp590840000005378 · August 2011

Mine is ticking away and I'm getting to the point where I'm freaking out that I'm going to be too old to have kids. Please don't be offended as I'm sure I'm not the oldest person on the board, but I feel such anxiety and stress that I'm getting older and older and I just don't want to be an old lady Mom. Everyone of our friends are pretty much done having kids, I feel like my future kid won't even have anyone to play with. I just feel like if I don't get this IVF on the road asap it's going to be too late, and that makes me very sad. I can't afford it yet, and time is not on my side. Crying

I can't be alone in this fear, right?

I'm 33 and DH is 36.

ETA: I'm in Utah where my friends were having babies in their early 20's, so I think this could be contributing to my panic. My friend in NYC is always telling me that everyone back East waits until their 30's to even try so it's more normal to be an older Mom.

inlove731 · August 2011

You are certainly not old, but I totally understand what you are saying. It's so hard when all of your friends are having kid after kid, done having kids and you have yet to have one-I get this all too well.

You are not old and you will be a hot mama one day!!

Temp590840000005378 · August 2011

inlove731:

You are certainly not old, but I totally understand what you are saying. It's so hard when all of your friends are having kid after kid, done having kids and you have yet to have one-I get this all too well.

You are not old and you will be a hot mama one day!!

Ha ha, by the time I'm able to have kids there is no chance I could be a M.I.L.F., my dreams are shattered, lol, j/k!

Faith722 · August 2011

I could have written this myself. I totally agree with you!

FWIW, I'm 34 and my mom was 39 when I was born. All my life, I said I wouldn't be as old as she was when I had kids. Heck, I thought I'd be done by 30! I have this crazy fear that we'll wait too long for our next cycle and all my b/w will go to sh!t and the RE will say, "if only you'd cycled last month." Completely irrational, I know.

What's worse is I'm an only child and I'm feeling the pressure to hurry up and give them grandkids. (Totally self-imposed pressure, not from them.)

Temp590840000005378 · August 2011

Faith722:
I could have written this myself. I totally agree with you!

What's worse is I'm an only child and I'm feeling the pressure to hurry up and give them grandkids. (Totally self-imposed pressure, not from them.)

Glad you understand, I could have written this in the sense that I'm in such a panic to hurry up and give my mom a grandkid while she is supposedly in remission from cancer. I also thought I would have my kids by the time I was 30... nope. AHHH the PRESSURE is intense, pass the xanax Cool

vanessagorc · August 2011

As a NY-er i never really felt that. We started trying when i was 33, I actually wanted to wait till 34....but DH wanted to try sooner.

I'll be 36 this winter, and obviously i want a baby...but age isn't really what i worry about with this.

Ur friend is right, I don't have any NYC friends who had kids prior to 32...and most later than that.

SweetDahlia · August 2011

Most of my friends are also done having kids. I am 33 and DH is 40. It's sad and yes I hear my clock ticking so you aren't.

Edwina.McDunnough · August 2011

My clock is broken beyond repair.
We have to buy a new one.

STL34 · August 2011

I know the feeling. My clock has been ticking. The kicker for me is that the closest cousin my kids (if I have them) will have is my SIL's daugher (as she has sworn she was one and done) will be more than a year older than our kids if this current IVF cycle works. My older sister's kids are both in junior high already. My younger sister's kids range in age from 7 to 2.

As for my friends, I have many that waited until their 30s to have kids, but they all have kids now. MH is 5 years older than me and most of his friends were done having kids years ago.

mm29 · August 2011

Edwina.McDunnough:
My clock is broken beyond repair.
We have to buy a new one.

I feel the same way and I'm 31. Stupid DOR speeding up my clock! It's BS!!!

mm29 · August 2011

bear:

ETA: I'm in Utah where my friends were having babies in their early 20's, so I think this could be contributing to my panic. My friend in NYC is always telling me that everyone back East waits until their 30's to even try so it's more normal to be an older Mom.

I can't believe that one of my flower girls at my wedding has had a baby. It seriously makes me feel like I'm going to be a super old parent!

abvernon · August 2011

Edwina.McDunnough:
My clock is broken beyond repair.
We have to buy a new one.

I am sorry Sad

I year ya. Ever since my SIL announced her pregnancy, I feel the need we have to PG soon. I will be 36 in February; DH will be 35 in January. I even asked him last night if he is ok with being an "older" father. He replied, "I will happy to be a father at any age."

Edwina.McDunnough · August 2011

mm29:
Edwina.McDunnough:
My clock is broken beyond repair.
We have to buy a new one.
I feel the same way and I'm 31. Stupid DOR speeding up my clock! It's BS!!!

Donor eggs are really expensive.
It's insult added to injury.

illinigal · August 2011

I understand your fears. Most people I know around here have/had kids in their late 20s and early 30s. I always wanted to have kids in my early 30s, but didn't meet Dh until later and got married at 30.... My biological clock was ticking and I wanted to ttc right away after the wedding, but Dh wanted to wait at least a year, so we did. He is 3 years younger than me, and most of his friends didn't have kids yet when we got married, so that may have been part of it. I often wonder if we knew we'd have trouble ttc, if I could have convinced him to try sooner.

Before I knew we'd have trouble I was hoping to be done by my 35th birthday. I was excited when my due date for the twins was my 35th birthday, because I want 2 kids, and thought hey, I may actually be done when I wanted. When we lost our boys, I was devastated for many reasons. We need time to grieve and heal, but I definitely hear that clock ticking, so we would like to try again as soon as the drs give the ok.

Even though the logical part of my brain knows we are still reasonably young and can have the kids out of college before we retire (assuming we get sticky take home babies in the next couple years), that doesn't change that we are more than ready to be parents now. I'm bummed because today i should have been half baked.

mm29 · August 2011

Edwina.McDunnough:
mm29:
Edwina.McDunnough:
My clock is broken beyond repair.
We have to buy a new one.
I feel the same way and I'm 31. Stupid DOR speeding up my clock! It's BS!!!
Donor eggs are really expensive.
It's insult added to injury.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this!

We are also considering DE. Not fun!

Bella2u07 · August 2011

Edwina.McDunnough:
My clock is broken beyond repair.
We have to buy a new one.

You took the words right out of my "mouth"! I honestly have lost the 'desire' to having a baby. Might be the numb phase I am in.

UMichGirl · August 2011

I definitely feel mine ticking. I agree with mm29--Stupid DOR!

While I still have age on my side (...and every doctor is quick to remind me of this...I'm 31...) I still feel like the chance of this ever happening is slipping away. We have been trying for 3 years, but in terms of cycles we're on cycle #43 now. Indifferent When I changed my siggy to that number earlier today I literally had to stop and stare at the screen. How did it get to this point?

I'm an only child too, as another poster mentioned. My parents know what we're going through so they aren't pressuring us by any means, but I still feel awful that we haven't been able to give them a grandbaby yet.

When we started talking to CCRM back in April, the doctor told me he would definitely recommend we cycle before I go back to school (in other words, DON'T WASTE ANYMORE TIME). Well, we tried that, but it obviously didn't work...here I am about to start another school year with my district and we're looking at a tentative ER/ET in mid-October with the current calendar I have.

IF blows.

reb259 · August 2011

Edwina.McDunnough:
My clock is broken beyond repair.
We have to buy a new one.

This!! I so hear ya...

orange1414 · August 2011

I don't stress too much about my age (32), but DH is 10 years older. He has friends who have teenagers. I really don't want him to be mistaken for grandpa by the time we get our baby. Tongue Tied

cutebride73 · August 2011

I feel it for sure. I guess I am one of the oldest ladies on here - I'm 38 and DH is 41. We only met when I was 34, got married the month before I turned 36 and started trying 3 months later. I really never expected I'd be where I am now, 4 pregnancies, 4 losses, meds, IUI's, IVF... Nothing seems to be working, for a take home baby anyway.

I do have a DD and I had her when I was very young, so I know I am very lucky in that sense. It's still hard to imagine that I may never had the family I thought I would and that I desperately want.

STL34 · August 2011

mm29:
Edwina.McDunnough:
My clock is broken beyond repair.
We have to buy a new one.
I feel the same way and I'm 31. Stupid DOR speeding up my clock! It's BS!!!

Agreed. DOR is the devil.

MoFree · August 2011

Sorry I'm a day late in posting. I hear you about the biological clock. I never, ever thought that I would be a little past 34 and not know when or if I will ever be pregnant. Here in Phoenix it seems that most people are finished with child bearing at 30. I hear my clock ticking louder and louder each day and wonder if we will have female age-related issues as well as severe MFI.

Want a personalized experience?

Can we discuss our biological clocks?

Re: Can we discuss our biological clocks?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards