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Any good ideas for questions for oncologist?

ghmghm
in Parenting

I have some questions in mind, and my parents have plenty of questions, too, but if you've been through cancer (yourself, parent, spouse, whoever), what are some good questions that you asked? Anything you wish you had asked early on in the treatment process?

We do know how long chemo will be and we have an idea of how much time he has left, but of course we'll confirm those things.

He's got two appointments this week--one with his current oncologist who turned his records over to mayo and has gotten their opinion, and then one with the cancer center at the local university. So anything you need to address about talking to different doctors?

Thanks.  

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Re: Any good ideas for questions for oncologist?

  • Cbidt's girlCbidt's girl
    Questions about pain management, things that your dad can do to maximize energy and comfort. I found that having a sense there was something in their (dad,mom sister) control to ease discomfort really helped morale. The situations are different as all 3 of my family members had less aggressive forms of cancer and were facing situations different than your dad, but I still think having a sense of control over pain, symptoms and side effects helps with morale. We got suggestions for foods to eat that were palatable when nauseaus, pain contol options like ice, heat, massage etc in addition to medicines.. Oh - and the all important therapy referral :)
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  • ghmghm

    Also, any good ideas of things to give them for when they're getting the chemo done? I think it's about 6 hours each time. I wanted to buy him a tablet, but he said he could order one through his job. Do they even feel like doing anything during the chemo session itself (I'm not sure what to call it)?

    How much pain does chemo cause? Or is that for the cancer itself? 

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  • SalisburyBrideSalisburyBride

    After Dad's first month of chemo at a local hospital we were sent to meet with the specialist team at one of the big university cancer centers. They had thought ahead and provided us with a cassette tape (ha ha, who even has a cassette player anymore!) that had the entire meeting recorded so that we could go back and listen just in case we forgot or if any of us interpreted something different we could hear exactly what was said. If his dr doesn't offer this you may want to ask if you could bring in some sort of recording device. It was VERY helpful to go back and listen to the opitions and treatment plans the next day.

    Someone will probably offer counseling services for during and after the treatments. If the counseling office is not local to you maybe you could ask that person (for us it was a case worker) for a local reference. You may not feel like you need the services now but you may change your mind as his situation changes.

    Ask who you should call if you have additional questions. It seems like a simple question but really, how many times do you call a doctor directly and he answers on the first try. You may have a somewhat simple question that may be quickly answered by an assistant or resident and if it's not so simple they can pass the question on to the doctor. Ask if he communicates through e-mail. Most doctors are so "mobile" these days that e-mail may be faster than a phone call.

    Ask about visitors and gifts if he will be in an in-patient facility for chemo. Dad was in the hospital for 30 days and was "neutropenic (sp?)" so he was limited to X number of visitors and his entire floor was fresh flower and latex free as well as a very strict diet - no pepper, of all things who would have thought pepper could be so dangerous!

    My mom was good about writing everything down while dad was in the hospital. Maybe a little too good, she even wrote down every time dad used the bathroom and would let the nurses know. She would write down her observations about how his skin would change colors that indicated he needed a bag of blood or platelets. Most of the time she knew before the doctors did that he needed it.

    There will be so much information thrown at you so just take as much in as you can. You will think of more questions as the doctors are talking to you. It was a very hard day and a quiet 2 hour ride home for us as we all reflected on what we had just discussed - diagnosis, treatment, prognosis.

    Hang in there and try to be very supportive for your mom. I remember the doctor asking each of us how we were doing handling the diagnosis. My response was that I'm not worried about Dad. He's strong and the doctors and God will take care of him. I can't do anything to help him other than be there for him and tell him I love him. What I do worry about is Mom. He is her rock and she is his. She will be strong for him but I need to be strong for her when she needs a shoulder to cry on.

    HUGS!!!

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  • ghmghm
    imageSalisburyBride:

    After Dad's first month of chemo at a local hospital we were sent to meet with the specialist team at one of the big university cancer centers. They had thought ahead and provided us with a cassette tape (ha ha, who even has a cassette player anymore!) that had the entire meeting recorded so that we could go back and listen just in case we forgot or if any of us interpreted something different we could hear exactly what was said. If his dr doesn't offer this you may want to ask if you could bring in some sort of recording device. It was VERY helpful to go back and listen to the opitions and treatment plans the next day.

    Good idea. I was going to take a notebook and some pens, but I'm wondering if I can record on my phone...I don't know how long it will record.  


    . I remember the doctor asking each of us how we were doing handling the diagnosis. My response was that I'm not worried about Dad. He's strong and the doctors and God will take care of him. I can't do anything to help him other than be there for him and tell him I love him. What I do worry about is Mom. He is her rock and she is his. She will be strong for him but I need to be strong for her when she needs a shoulder to cry on.

     

    Thanks. This is exactly how I feel. I mean, really, my heart is so broken to be losing my dad. But I can't express the amount of pain I feel for Mom. I certainly never expected that I would have to take the parenting role on at the age of 27, but that's what has happened.  

    HUGS!!!

    Thank you for all of your advice--that was very helpful.  

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  • TriciaChickTriciaChick member
    Any alternative therapies/diets that he may recommend?  Any types of support groups for him and your family?  Is there an after hours line you can call with any questions or for advice?  Sorry I am drawing a blank on any others....so sorry you are going through this.
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  • RCH151RCH151
    I would ask about experimental treatments...or if they have any sort of relationship/referral for an herbalist or alternative medicine person.  Hey, I'd try anything!
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