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Moms of picky eaters... HELP!!!
I need some help. My biggest stressor with Macie going back to school has been the lunch. I am about in tears after just a few days. She won't eat. She was crying when DH picked her up today and she said later it was because she was hungry.
We can't pack in her lunch anything with peanuts so that rules out pb sandwiches. She won't eat any meat except hot dogs. I made her a sunflower butter sandwich and she took one bite and wouldn't eat the rest of it.
So we got to thinking that maybe it is behavioral and if she got hungry enough she would eat the school lunch. We were wrong. The only thing she "ate" for lunch today was milk. She also wouldn't eat the snack that they had today. Sigh.
My question.....What should I do? I can work around this and get a thermos and send mac and cheese or find a few things that I can send to school just to get some food in her tummy but then I wonder if she will ever learn to eat. The problem is is that she just won't try anything. We had tears the other night when we ordered pizza and we got her cheesy bread since she doesn't eat pizza. She always eats lots of cheesy bread from Pizza Ranch but this was a different brand. She never touched it.
(She has been tested for sensory processing disorder and they didn't tell me for sure that she had it or not. They just said that " she could benefit from food therapy". We did therapy for about 3 months and had to quit because we couldn't afford it. So we had her tested through the school system and she didn't qualify for therapy because you need "2 special needs" to get it covered. )
So my question is... Would you get the school lunch and have her not eat anything some days in hopes that one day she finally tries something or would you pack her lunch and hope she outgrows it just so she has a full tummy.
My DH is also a picky eater and to this day will not touch fruit or vegetables. At all. 
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Re: Moms of picky eaters... HELP!!!
you can do feeding therapy at home with her. I do it with my son. I will try and find my posts on this.
I would send her anything that she'll eat. You can't starve these children into eating. You'll only make it worse, believe me!!
But you NEED to help her with it. I waited way too long for DS. It's tough, 2 steps forward, one step back kind of thing. But we work on it. These kids, IME, need to be pushed through their issues.
I bet your H's habits has a LOT to do with your DD's eating habits. It is time for him to choke some food down in front of your daughter.
My H is very picky, and admittedly, I like that he works noon-11 p.m. We can have new/different things all week and eat his favorites on the weekends. BUT when he is here, even if he doesn't like what is made, he will eat a couple bites of it, just like we expect the older kids to do. We tell them that they don't necessarily have to 'like' everything, but they have to 'try' everything. I always have something I know they like, so I know they are eating something....but they usually end up liking a new thing.
The fact that your H refuses food probably makes her dig in and not eat. If he can do it, why can't she? Lead by example. And I think she's old enjoy to understand the whole "food is for nutrition and to help us grow" talk....that she can't have her favorites everyday, and she needs to try things.
Now if she truly has aversion, that changes my opinion - but it sounds like the dr wouldn't even commit to that. I'd start getting your H on board and make it a big deal for her to 'try' things....sticker chart, "woot, woot, go DD" cheering, other things may help.
My DD is also extremely picky and will literally only eat a few things. She just about refuses to try anything new. I talked to our pedi and he said with most kids like this if you tell them to eat or go hungry..they will go hungry. So much so that they can starve themselves, lose weight, etc. He asked what she ate (mostly PB&J, pancakes, sausage and hotdogs, lunch meat, chicken nuggets, some fruits, plain bread/rolls, cereal and crackers) and said she was gaining weight overall and nutrition was ok.
DD has always been this way since eating real solid foods but he said that he expects her to start "growing out" of this phase around 4 yrs old. I'm thinking that now shes in preschool she will start to see other kids eating things amd she may start to get more interested.
DD just turned 3.
I'm so glad you got good info from your ped. Mostly I was hearing 'well he won't starve'. um, yes he will.
I could kick myself that I didn't get him help earlier.
The OT we worked with said she has kids come in age 8 or whatever when they go to sleepovers and they don't eat the whole weekend they are away
Zenya- Thank you so much for these links! It sounds JUST like my DD. The anxiety is horrible. I wouldn't care so much if she would at least try but for her to start freaking out over trying it is stressful! I also read in one of the comments that this is common is reflux babies. DD had extreme reflux as a baby. I am wondering if she too is associating eating with pain. Makes me sad.
Thank you everyone for your thoughts!
Z's advice is great.
Also, with the history of reflux, talk to her doctor. She may very well have food allergies or some other gi issues. My DD was extremely picky and that was one of her biggest indicators that she has celiac disease.