Would you be mad?

Jendy59 · August 2011

My DH's friend who we see about once or twice a year had a baby early this morning. Low and behold it was a boy and they named him the name I was 99% sure I wanted. Do we now go back to the drawing board or do we tell them this was our name choice too and just stick with the plan?

If a friend named their baby the same name 2 months after your son was born, would you be upset?

Thanks for your help! The name is Austin btw.

Teffie · August 2011

Jendy59:

If a friend named their baby the same name 2 months after your son was born, would you be upset?

Yeah, I'd be pretty pissed.

emilyj77 · August 2011

Keep your name. Especially since you only see him once or twice a year.

Would I be mad? I guess if I knew for a certainty that my friend knew that was my favorite name choice and never said that they liked it too and were thinking of using it, I might be mad. However if it never came up in conversation, then I would have no right to be mad.

Janimal · August 2011

I think drama over using names is silly. Use the name you picked. It's not like there aren't any other Austins in the world.

If it were me, I would be flattered.

bmcapra · August 2011

This happened to us too. I am not mad and I plan on sticking with the name because I have liked it for so long.

littlewinnie15 · August 2011

I know myself, and I would probably be a little "WTF" if someone chose our baby name a couple months later - only because I personally wouldn't not be okay with using the same name as someone else I know. But I wouldn't be "mad" about it.

That being said, I don't think someone you see once or twice a year should affect your name choice if it doesn't bother YOU. Your baby, your decision.

kelly2983 · August 2011

I would still name my child whatever I wanted to name them in the first place. The only person I would consider not using a name for would be my sister and that's it. She told me two of "her" names when I got pregnant & asked that I not use them. I didn't like either of them so it was easy to say yes to pacify her but if I had - it may have been another story. I then told her to please not tell me any more names because I wasn't going to stop myself from using a name she liked if she were going to have a laundry list of them.

I don't know that I would be mad but I would probably think it was a little odd if a best friend or even really close friend named her child the same thing I just named mine but if you only see them twice a year, I don't think it's a big deal. You could even say it was a family name if they ask any questions.

katie0919 · August 2011

It sounds like neither of you actually shared your name choices with each other? If so, then there really isn't a reason for you to be mad that she names her son Austin, nor should she be mad if you were to name yours Austin.

It would be different if had talked about it before. For example, my friend is having a little girl and is naming her a name that was on my girl list. BUT, she brought it up first and was 100% set on the name. I found out I'm having a boy anyway so it doesn't matter, but I wouldn't have chosen that name since she brought it up first and was 100% set on it. But we see each other a lot more than twice a year, too!

If you all had not disussed names before, then you should name him what you want. She may not 100% believe that you had chosen this name before her....but oh well!! GL!

mrsredrox · August 2011

No I wouldn't be mad. Names are names, there are tons of Austin's out there. Cute name, btw

mrsjenniferg2010 · August 2011

If you only see them once or twice a year I don't see what the big deal is. I would just name him what we wanted. Maybe say to them oh that's the same name we picked neat, so its not a big deal. No I would be mad if we never talked about names. If I told them our choice and they picked it after I may be annoyed.

Olalala157 · August 2011

If I only see them once a twice a year I wouldnt really care and I would keep the name. Obviously they agree with you that its a great name.

varkeyr · August 2011

So what if they both have the same name.Great minds think alike. I wouldn't have a problem with it unless you took my name first. If I told you what name I had chosen and you named your child that, then I would have a problem with it.

reason00 · August 2011

Janimal:
I think drama over using names is silly. Use the name you picked. It's not like there aren't any other Austins in the world.

If it were me, I would be flattered.

If it were a unique name, I would be upset. This is a common name, so no worries. Just use it if you both still like it.

Ms.Jade · August 2011

littlewinnie15:
I know myself, and I would probably be a little "WTF" if someone chose our baby name a couple months later - only because I personally wouldn't not be okay with using the same name as someone else I know. But I wouldn't be "mad" about it.

This. I wish I could pretend that I'm above it all, but I'm just not. I don't want our LO to have the same name as one of our friend's kids so I would pick something else if they beat me to the punch, and I would definitely give someone the side eye for using our same name a couple of months later. I know this is not a rational response, but it's how I really feel.

Jendy59 · August 2011

Thanks for the help ladies! I really appreciate all of the opinions!

Clearly Austin isn't a unique name, however up until today we didn't know anyone in our families or circles of friends by this name and better yet no one over the years that had ruined the name for us! Now that's not the case and it makes me feel like we should probably just forget it. I'm one of those people that doesn't like to copy other people and now I feel like I'd be copying them. I know that wouldn't really be the case, but that's how I feel like it would look. I guess I'm too paranoid and too much of a brat to stick with this now that he wouldn't be the only Austin.

I guess it's off to the baby names board we go!

MsEmilyAnn · August 2011

Considering you don't see them very often, 1-2x a year, I wouldn't be all that bothered by it. Maybe a little irritated, but not mad. I wouldn't change the name of my child over it. I don't think you need to give them an explanation unless you feel really awkward about it, then I wouldn't explain it until after your LO is born and named.

For me it would be different if it were our best friends who we saw a LOT and we had already discussed what we were going to name our children. If it was a friend we see rarely (1-2x a year) see, I'd be fine with it. There won't be that many occasions that the boys will be tog.

jnealet · August 2011

Nope. If you're not all that close with them, I wouldn't worry about it. I would send them a congrats card and tell them you love the name because it the one you picked out for your lo too.

Katie996 · August 2011

Janimal:
I think drama over using names is silly. Use the name you picked. It's not like there aren't any other Austins in the world.

If it were me, I would be flattered.

THIS!

amterrio · August 2011

My lifelong penpal named her son the same name as my son. They are about 3 years apart and we do not see them at all, only communicate online and via telephone. She asked me before he was born if it would be OK since it was the only name they could agree on for a boy. I had no prob with it, and I don't think I would have had an issue with it if they were closer in age either.

AngieDee83 · August 2011

This is a tough one but since you only see them once or twice a year and you love your name, I say stick with it! Do tell them that it was the name you had decided on though, so they don't think your a baby-name-stealer Stick out tongue

cikangell · August 2011

I differ from some women on this board in that I worry more than others seem to about using the same name as a friend/family member. Example: My friend E. told me her choice for a girl a few years ago. She had a boy, but I will still stay away from the girl name she told me because to me, that was her 'claiming' the name.(To her, too, knowing this friend..;o)

Yes, I get that you can't actually 'claim' a name, but that line of reasoning doesn't always work. I think you should be fine with your situation, but I would try to find a way of letting them know before you LO is born just to be on the polite side of things.

Liz1485 · August 2011

If it were me, I'd probably change it too. DH and I had so much trouble thinking of boys names because over the years, most of our friends have been guys and we didn't want anyone to think we were naming our kid after them. The best name we could find that no one in either of our families (I have huge families on both my parents sides) and none of our friends have is Max. If one of our friends told us they just had a son and named him Max we'd be back to the drawing board too. Good luck finding something you both like in time.

MommaErica · August 2011

If they were good friends who you saw frequently and your children would be growing up together, or if it were a particularly unique name, I'd probably reconsider the name. Consuidering you see them just a few times a year, and the name in question is super popular, I'd stick with it if it's the name you both really love. Will the boys also have the same middle name? It would be weirder if they did.

Honestly, if a friend of mine used the name name I did a few months after my baby was born, I'd be a little annoyed. Although I'd have no right to be and I'd get over it. I won;t lie and say it wouldn't bother me at all, so expect that she might be annoyed but, Iwouldn't let that influence your decision too much.

Tanderson0201 · August 2011

If she knew about it and just never told you she was using the same name then that is so rude, imo. If she didn't know then it was an honest mistake. If you already were planning to use that name I think that's fine to still do it. Austin is a pretty common name so it's not like you are trying to "copy" her or anything.

authorofdreamz · August 2011

I would use it as long as its not someone you would be around all the time. I don't know why she would be mad but people are weird. My original top choice for a girl was the same exact name as my bf's cousin and even though I chose it before I'd ever met her and my bf didn't even know it was his cousin's name his aunt still accused us of copying her. We chose a different name because this is someone who we will be around constantly and it was the same exact name, first middle and last. But if it was someone we weren't going to be around and different middle and last names I wouldn't have changed it. Austin is a very common name so she may not even think anything of it.

Froggy76 · August 2011

I'm guessing you're asking if they have a right to be mad if you also name your son Austin? If I were them, I'd think it was a little weird if you didn't say anything. But, all you have to do is congratulate them and say, "We were planning to name our son Austin, too!" No biggie. Ignoring the fact that you're going to use the same name seems weird, though.

RedCamaro · August 2011

Janimal:

I think drama over using names is silly. Use the name you picked. It's not like there aren't any other Austins in the world.

If it were me, I would be flattered.

This exactly! Once again Janimal, you hit the nail on the head Wink

adri77 · August 2011

Being that you don't see them often (2x a year) I would still name your baby Austin. FWI....BIL and wife live across the country from us, we see them maybe everyother year. We thought they were naming their daughter the same name that we had always had picked out for years for a potential daughter. I was soooo upset!!! But we decided that we'd still give our daughter that name, regardless, b/c we never see them. Turns out it was just a name very very similar to "our"name. Will still use our name if this baby is a girl!

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