I'm a mom with PPD & PTSD... — The Bump
Postpartum Depression

I'm a mom with PPD & PTSD...

My beautiful daughter just turned1 year old! When I think about how smart, healthy, strong, independent, loving, funny and sweet my little girl is I become overwhelmed with gratefulness and love; that is after I fight a hard battle to get there.

I battle everyday with Postpartum Depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

It makes me feel guilty to even acknowledge it. I know that I love my daughter more than life itself; and that I do everything I can to be the best mom in the world for her. But most days I don't feel like it's enough.That's the evil of my disease.That's why I don't really talk about it; not until now. The past few months have been the worse, and only getting harder. It's really frustrating when therapy isn't going to solve it; medications cause a full blown revolt between my mind and body - and all this time I am still a new mom, a new wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an aunt, and a Christian. But because of my Faith, I know there is Hope. I know that my incredibly supportive husband, family and friends are gifts and are my rock in the shaky times. They all love me so much and I know that they are fighting just as hard as I am to get "me" back.

It takes baby steps, and LOADS of perseverance. I have to accept that there are good days, and there are bad days. But as one of my most favorite verses simply states "If God is for us; who can be against us?" (Romans 8:31)

So as this first years comes to an end, I have made a decision to fight harder and celebrate more. I also want to reach out to any other mom's who may suffer with me; I know how incredibly hard it is to talk about but maybe we could be a support for each other.  Because I know that I am not the only one suffering from this and I know that I won't be the last.

I just needed to get this off my chest. It's really hard to talk about with other Mom's that haven't felt what I have. Thanks for taking the time to read this. :)

Re: I'm a mom with PPD & PTSD...

  • Best thing to do is get it off your chest. Don't bottle it inside (which I did) Stay positive!! GL
  • FYI!! You are NOT alone!!
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  • I know where you are coming from and it is not an easy place at all. Speaking up is the first step to healing. My son is 10 months old and I have horrible PTSD from his birth.
    It is hard to talk to other moms that are so happy and perfect (or pretend to be!). I'd suggest looking for a Postpartum Support group in your area. I have one that is awesome and meets twice a month called "This isnt what I expected". Moms with any form of Postpartum Mood Dissorder are welcome and althought most moms can't relate to my situation since it was so traumatic they are an incredible support system and give me great ideas for how to get through the tough days and celebrate the good days. These groups are confidential so anything you say stays in that room. It's kinda like vegas :)
    Check out my blog at www.tobreatheagainbook.com
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