For Those Who Ferberized...

Dragonfly1226 · August 2011

We are at our wits end with P's sleep. He wakes many, many times in the night and doesn't go back to sleep without our help. For the past few nights he cried for an hour at a time even while we were trying to sooth him. Sleep isn't working for him or for us. I know he isn't sick or in pain because he is fine all day and evening. He only does this in the middle of the night. We tried Ferberizing about a month ago, but about a week in P was still crying for two hours in the middle of the night when he woke up even though he was going to sleep at bedtime on his own. It was just too much so we stopped. Now his sleep is worse than ever. So, if you did Ferberize, did it work for you? How long did it take? Would you continue to give a pacifier or quit the paci too? TIA!

MonkeysGirl05 · August 2011

How many times is he waking? Is he getting fed with each waking? Maybe he wasn't ready last time you tried.

We ferbered Henry, but we had two issues. We were feeding him with every waking and he was waking too frequently. There are sections in the book to deal with both issues. I bf, so it made it a little more difficult, but we figured it out.

I think it took 2 or 3 days to see significant improvement... maybe a week to get to where we wanted, which was only one wake/night. At 8 months he started STTN consistently (all on his own).

desabean · August 2011

We did not ferber until around 8 months because I was still bf'ing at that point and worried she was hungry. Once we switched to bottles I was a little more confident she was getting enough to hold her through the night. We ferbered for one night for a total of 8 minutes and never looked back. You didn't say if you nurse or offer a bottle when he wakes up, but is it possible he is hungry?

Dragonfly1226 · August 2011

I usually feed him now before bed at 7:15 and then not again until 4:00 or 5:00 so he's not eating when he is waking up.

MonkeysGirl05 · August 2011

while I know most books, docs, etc. say that babies should not be hungry in the middle of the night at this age, every kid is different. I'd try feeing him around 1am (or the closest waking time). I think that is what got Henry over the hump is that middle of the night feed.

Dragonfly1226 · August 2011

MonkeysGirl05:
while I know most books, docs, etc. say that babies should not be hungry in the middle of the night at this age, every kid is different. I'd try feeing him around 1am (or the closest waking time). I think that is what got Henry over the hump is that middle of the night feed.

I tried. Last night he was up at 3:00. Fed him at 3:15, and he still was up crying until 4:00. During this time both dh and I tried to sooth him but he was having no part of it.

MonkeysGirl05 · August 2011

Dragonfly1226:
MonkeysGirl05:
while I know most books, docs, etc. say that babies should not be hungry in the middle of the night at this age, every kid is different. I'd try feeing him around 1am (or the closest waking time). I think that is what got Henry over the hump is that middle of the night feed.
I tried. Last night he was up at 3:00. Fed him at 3:15, and he still was up crying until 4:00. During this time both dh and I tried to sooth him but he was having no part of it.

Hmmm.... is it possible that you waited too long to feed him and he was too pissed off to eat? Ever have any problems with reflux? This is a puzzler...

Dragonfly1226 · August 2011

MonkeysGirl05:
How many times is he waking? Is he getting fed with each waking? Maybe he wasn't ready last time you tried.

Last night he went to bed at 7:15 (very tired) and woke at 8:30, 9:45, 11:00, 3:00, 5:30, and then at 7:00 for the day. The 11:00 and 3:00 wakings lasted over an hour. I fed him at 3:15 even though he didn't seem hungry. I am willing to try anything, but at the same time I don't want to take steps backwards. He hasn't eaten at night for a while. I don't think he was ready last time but I hope he is now. We don't know what else to do.

Dragonfly1226 · August 2011

MonkeysGirl05:
Dragonfly1226:
MonkeysGirl05:
while I know most books, docs, etc. say that babies should not be hungry in the middle of the night at this age, every kid is different. I'd try feeing him around 1am (or the closest waking time). I think that is what got Henry over the hump is that middle of the night feed.
I tried. Last night he was up at 3:00. Fed him at 3:15, and he still was up crying until 4:00. During this time both dh and I tried to sooth him but he was having no part of it.
Hmmm.... is it possible that you waited too long to feed him and he was too pissed off to eat? Ever have any problems with reflux? This is a puzzler...

He has never had reflux issues. I think a night feeding at 3:00 or 4:00 or whenever he wakes around that time is fair. Can I keep a feeding (probably more for my peace of mind) and still sleep train?

MonkeysGirl05 · August 2011

Dragonfly1226:
MonkeysGirl05:
Dragonfly1226:
MonkeysGirl05:
while I know most books, docs, etc. say that babies should not be hungry in the middle of the night at this age, every kid is different. I'd try feeing him around 1am (or the closest waking time). I think that is what got Henry over the hump is that middle of the night feed.
I tried. Last night he was up at 3:00. Fed him at 3:15, and he still was up crying until 4:00. During this time both dh and I tried to sooth him but he was having no part of it.
Hmmm.... is it possible that you waited too long to feed him and he was too pissed off to eat? Ever have any problems with reflux? This is a puzzler...
He has never had reflux issues. I think a night feeding at 3:00 or 4:00 or whenever he wakes around that time is fair. Can I keep a feeding (probably more for my peace of mind) and still sleep train?

I would think that would be okay.

ladychicago · August 2011

Dragonfly1226:
MonkeysGirl05:
Dragonfly1226:
MonkeysGirl05:
while I know most books, docs, etc. say that babies should not be hungry in the middle of the night at this age, every kid is different. I'd try feeing him around 1am (or the closest waking time). I think that is what got Henry over the hump is that middle of the night feed.
I tried. Last night he was up at 3:00. Fed him at 3:15, and he still was up crying until 4:00. During this time both dh and I tried to sooth him but he was having no part of it.
Hmmm.... is it possible that you waited too long to feed him and he was too pissed off to eat? Ever have any problems with reflux? This is a puzzler...
He has never had reflux issues. I think a night feeding at 3:00 or 4:00 or whenever he wakes around that time is fair. Can I keep a feeding (probably more for my peace of mind) and still sleep train?

Definitely! When we ferbered, we trained her to a single 3am feeding. If she woke before 2:00, we ferbered. After 2am, i fed her. And it just worked out to a 3am feed most nights. But she also ate and went right back to sleep... I would probably try classic Ferber again, maybe he wasn't ready last time. And keep a feeding if you want to. but man, he sounds like a tough one! Good luck!

at 4 months, it only took us 4 days with Anna. And she never cried for more than 30 minutes on the worst night.

perry7285 · August 2011

he may have been a little young for ferberizing last time. i think it's worth another shot. also, did you read ferber's book? there are so many misconceptions out there about ferberizing, i always worry that people haven't read the book before trying it.

it did work for us, although we weren't one of the success stories where all was fixed in three nights. about 90% of our progress was in the first week, then we continued for about another three weeks until we decided that things were as good as they were going to get.

we did let him have a paci, and left several in his crib. this only worked because he was coordinated enough to put a paci in his mouth himself. if your LO can't do that yet, i would either wait to ferberize until he can, or ditch the paci.

good luck! i know this stuff is SO hard. hang in there, it will get easier.

queenbone · August 2011

For both boys I Ferbered at 3 months. It took about 3 nights with each before they went to sleep w/o fuss.

Because I BF we would keep him in bed with us after the first night feeding. Because he was close to me there would often be a few more feedings before morning. Probably around 5 -6 months we began to put him back in his crib after the first night feeding.

Now there is only one night feeding and then the early morning one which is when I get up.

futrkingsley · August 2011

I didn't sleep train my kid, but wanted to add that at 6 months many babies are teething. For some reason the teething pain can be worse at night and keep them up or wake them up. You might try pain relief or teething drops to see if it helps soothe him at all.

KiKiGee · August 2011

My DS is just a week or so younger than yours. We ferbered over the weekend and it was pretty good. I BF and also did away with all the night feedings as it was pretty clear he had a nursing to sleep association. We give him a bottle of expressed BM after his last BFing in order to ensure he goes down with a full belly.

Before the weekend, he had gotten on a CRAZY every other hour schedule like you describe. Last night was night 3 and we were down to one wake with just 8 mins of fussing.

I say try again. My fingers are crossed for both of us!

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