But it WILL get better.
I have been an active lurker since the birth of my son 11/14/10. At first I had no time to post, but after several weeks I just felt that I had nothing of worth to contribute. I didn't seek help for possible PPD until DS was almost 5 months old, but I am SO glad I did. I had a textbook pregnancy minus all of the bad stuff - morning sickness, swelling, mood swings, etc... I also had a wonderful delivery experience - water broke at exactly 39w, got my epidural in perfect time, even got a nap in before 2 hours of gentle pushing and he was here! I expected the feelings of overwhelmed exhaustion...what I didn't expect was how long they lasted. And how intense they got. And the mood swings. Oh man. I would go from crying uncontrollably to absolute RAGE in mere seconds. I would yearn for nap time and would find myself battling an anxiety attack every time I heard DS waking up. After dealing with this on a daily basis for months I realized that this wasn't "normal" and it wasn't just because my "hormones were stabilizing." This emotional rollercoaster I was on was actually something more serious that I couldn't fix on my own. Since I have been trying for several years to refrain from taking pharmaceuticals - especially ones that require a daily dose and titration when coming off - I was reluctant to take the 50mg of Zoloft my Gyn prescribed. I must say I am glad I broke down and tried it. Every day becomes a little more clear, every obstacle seems a little less daunting and every minute I fall more in love with my son, my husband and my new life as a Mom. I hope to be able to stop taking the Zoloft in the next year, but for now it is my life preserver.
I've read so many of your stories and I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your struggles. I hope we all continue to do whatever it takes to reclaim our happiness. We deserve it.
Best of luck, Ladies.