1st IL battle....

Keribells · August 2011

BF's mom called last night. They are flying in for Thanksgiving to see the baby (they live in Sacramento). I'm very excited and can't wait for them to be here- they've never been to Texas since BF moved out there.

I only caught BF's end of the conversation but there were quite a few no's thrown in between some colorful words (they always talk like that). He mentioned them renting a car at some point or using the truck. I could tell that his mom was asking something about driving the car around while they were out here...yeah, BF is not going to let that happen. That Challenger is his baby. I even heard him say "You can ask Keri and she's going to say the same thing!" so his mom was telling him that she would just ask me. GULP

After they hung up....not only are they wanting to drive the car but they are wanting to go out 1 day while they are here and go shopping for our (BF and myself and Laci) Christmas presents. Great idea, right? NO....they intend to take the baby shopping with them!! No, no, no...she'll be around 3 weeks old at that point, flu season and the mess that will be Black Friday shopping....without me? Yep, good luck with that one....bring it on- go ahead and ask me and watch my mother hen side come out.

mcgee · August 2011

Set your boundaries now! If they want to go shopping, fine, but they're doing it without the baby! Besides, she'll need to nurse constantly at that age, so they're out of luck.

Keribells · August 2011

mcgee:
Set your boundaries now! If they want to go shopping, fine, but they're doing it without the baby! Besides, she'll need to nurse constantly at that age, so they're out of luck.

Oh definitely...I might be willing to attempt to drive them to a store or two and go with them and put her in a carrier but even that is a big if for me. I don't mind exposing her to germs to get her immune system built up but that's a little soon for me.

And it's not like it would be a drive around their neighborhood- they aren't familiar with Texas/Kyle/Austin at all....it's a no go....I'll give you the keys to the truck and you can have lots of fun shopping...without my child! lol

meg120510 · August 2011

Ditto McGee.

meg120510 · August 2011

Keribells:
And it's not like it would be a drive around their neighborhood- they aren't familiar with Texas/Kyle/Austin at all....it's a no go....I'll give you the keys to the truck and you can have lots of fun shopping...without my child! lol

This exactly! When DS was born, my sister and mom were in town the first few days I was home. My DH had to go back to work and my MIL was busy with her store (hello Christmas time!!!), so my sister drove us to DS's first pedi appointment. I was a nervous wreck! This was her first time in Texas. It wasn't that I didn't trust her driving skills, she lives in the Philly area, but this was unfamiliar territory and my brand new baby was in the backseat!

thethomps · August 2011

Seriously?! That's crazy talk. Ditto McGee.

ali-1411 · August 2011

Not flames...but I can't imagine not lettting my parents drive my car. That's very strange to me. My dad had a Corvette that was HIS baby and he let me take it for a spin around the high school parking lot when I was 14.

I could see if they were notoriously bad drivers or were from NYC and didn't have a license or something.

Taking the baby shopping...yeah I wouldn't let my in-laws attempt that either. But maybe they're just trying to be nice and give you guys a break? I mean, why would anyone WANT to take a newborn shopping?

Keribells · August 2011

ali-1411:

Not flames...but I can't imagine not lettting my parents drive my car. That's very strange to me. My dad had a Corvette that was HIS baby and he let me take it for a spin around the high school parking lot when I was 14.

I could see if they were notoriously bad drivers or were from NYC and didn't have a license or something.

Taking the baby shopping...yeah I wouldn't let my in-laws attempt that either. But maybe they're just trying to be nice and give you guys a break? I mean, why would anyone WANT to take a newborn shopping?

I'd let my sister or her husband drive the car- not my mom and with his family- I'll go with his judgement. They were the same when we went to see them in May...they let us take his dad's truck but not his mom's new SUV...guess they are just like that- probably doesn't help the matter that it is a stick shift??...I dunno. Me?? I just don't trust my mom.

I think their intent on taking the baby (from what I could hear of the conv) was to spend time with her.....they can have her all they want- at the house. I even thought this morning that if they wanted to have time with her we could sneak away and grab a bite to eat somewhere and they could stay with her at home.

rssnlvr · August 2011

Keribells:

I think their intent on taking the baby (from what I could hear of the conv) was to spend time with her.....they can have her all they want- at the house. I even thought this morning that if they wanted to have time with her we could sneak away and grab a bite to eat somewhere and they could stay with her at home.

This, too, will drive you absolutely batshitcrazy. Once that little newborn comes along, you are going to want to hold her all the time and will have big problems with feeling like people are hogging the baby from you. Fair warning. ;-)

Keribells · August 2011

rssnlvr:
Keribells:

I think their intent on taking the baby (from what I could hear of the conv) was to spend time with her.....they can have her all they want- at the house. I even thought this morning that if they wanted to have time with her we could sneak away and grab a bite to eat somewhere and they could stay with her at home.

This, too, will drive you absolutely batshitcrazy. Once that little newborn comes along, you are going to want to hold her all the time and will have big problems with feeling like people are hogging the baby from you. Fair warning. ;-)

I know, I know (hangs head in shame)....I can see this in the works already and I'm trying prepare myself but what do I do to 'prepare'...or what am I preparing for?? I don't know. Just one of those things that I guess will happen how it will. I'm hoping I can at least be a little more forgiving with them because I do really like them and they will only see her once or twice a year I'm guessing. My fingers are crossed on this one.

rssnlvr · August 2011

Keribells:
I know, I know (hangs head in shame)....I can see this in the works already and I'm trying prepare myself but what do I do to 'prepare'...or what am I preparing for?? I don't know. Just one of those things that I guess will happen how it will. I'm hoping I can at least be a little more forgiving with them because I do really like them and they will only see her once or twice a year I'm guessing. My fingers are crossed on this one.

The thing is, you're going to have a 3 WEEK OLD. You are still smack in the middle of recovery and bonding with the baby and getting BFing established (if you're planning on BFing). That first month or two, the best visitors are the kind who leave you with the baby and cook for you, do your laundry, etc....and then hold the baby when you ASK them to so that you can sleep or whatever. It will be important for them to understand that it's just not an opportune time for them to swoop in and "take the baby" even if they are just at the house. I'd make sure (1) your BF understands this, and (2) he is prepping them in advance so that there aren't issues with expectations not being met.

L L CG · August 2011

I think you'll find it easier to say no when the baby gets here. You don't have to be mean about it. "Can we take the baby to the mall on an all day shopping spree?" "No. But you can sit here on the couch and hold her." Easy. No need to get upset about it.

meg120510 · August 2011

Keribells:
rssnlvr:
Keribells:

I think their intent on taking the baby (from what I could hear of the conv) was to spend time with her.....they can have her all they want- at the house. I even thought this morning that if they wanted to have time with her we could sneak away and grab a bite to eat somewhere and they could stay with her at home.
This, too, will drive you absolutely batshitcrazy. Once that little newborn comes along, you are going to want to hold her all the time and will have big problems with feeling like people are hogging the baby from you. Fair warning. ;-)
I know, I know (hangs head in shame)....I can see this in the works already and I'm trying prepare myself but what do I do to 'prepare'...or what am I preparing for?? I don't know. Just one of those things that I guess will happen how it will. I'm hoping I can at least be a little more forgiving with them because I do really like them and they will only see her once or twice a year I'm guessing. My fingers are crossed on this one.

It will be hard. I just had to remind myself that they get limited time with the baby. It is still hard when we have family visit or go see them. I usually make nursing sessions longer, so I can have some alone time with DS.

ali-1411 · August 2011

Keribells:
rssnlvr:
Keribells:

I think their intent on taking the baby (from what I could hear of the conv) was to spend time with her.....they can have her all they want- at the house. I even thought this morning that if they wanted to have time with her we could sneak away and grab a bite to eat somewhere and they could stay with her at home.

This, too, will drive you absolutely batshitcrazy. Once that little newborn comes along, you are going to want to hold her all the time and will have big problems with feeling like people are hogging the baby from you. Fair warning. ;-)

I know, I know (hangs head in shame)....I can see this in the works already and I'm trying prepare myself but what do I do to 'prepare'...or what am I preparing for?? I don't know. Just one of those things that I guess will happen how it will. I'm hoping I can at least be a little more forgiving with them because I do really like them and they will only see her once or twice a year I'm guessing. My fingers are crossed on this one.

Try not to think about it just yet. There's no way to tell how you're actually going to feel. When Layna was born, I told everybody to wait a month before coming to visit. I didn't know how I would be feeling, how she would be sleeping...I just wanted time to get everything figured out before we had company.

But you know what? I ended up spending that first month, sitting around bored out of my mind. I longed for visitors to come break up the monotony. And once my family came, I was more than glad to let my parents and my sister hold her as much as they wanted. I loved seeing how much they loved her and wanted to get to know her. I can never get enough of people adoring my children

L L CG · August 2011

ali-1411:
Keribells:
rssnlvr:
Keribells:

I think their intent on taking the baby (from what I could hear of the conv) was to spend time with her.....they can have her all they want- at the house. I even thought this morning that if they wanted to have time with her we could sneak away and grab a bite to eat somewhere and they could stay with her at home.
This, too, will drive you absolutely batshitcrazy. Once that little newborn comes along, you are going to want to hold her all the time and will have big problems with feeling like people are hogging the baby from you. Fair warning. ;-)
I know, I know (hangs head in shame)....I can see this in the works already and I'm trying prepare myself but what do I do to 'prepare'...or what am I preparing for?? I don't know. Just one of those things that I guess will happen how it will. I'm hoping I can at least be a little more forgiving with them because I do really like them and they will only see her once or twice a year I'm guessing. My fingers are crossed on this one.
Try not to think about it just yet. There's no way to tell how you're actually going to feel. When Layna was born, I told everybody to wait a month before coming to visit. I didn't know how I would be feeling, how she would be sleeping...I just wanted time to get everything figured out before we had company.
But you know what? I ended up spending that first month, sitting around bored out of my mind. I longed for visitors to come break up the monotony. And once my family came, I was more than glad to let my parents and my sister hold her as much as they wanted. I loved seeing how much they loved her and wanted to get to know her. I can never get enough of people adoring my children

I was lonely during that first month. I had a few visitors and it was all I could do not to hang on to their leg when it came time for them to leave. I remember Tyler Schmitt and his wife came to take her newborn pics and my DH and I were so excited to have outside people in our house that we wanted to hire them again for another session the next day.

I agree you'll have to see how you feel when the time comes. Don't worry about it now.

bluestreet · August 2011

I agree with rssn that you need to make BF prep his folks expectations-wise. But like Ali and LLCG, I felt very energetic and social after M was born. I was out and about by the second week. It all depends on your birth, recovery, etc.

ssinca · August 2011

MrsRosie:
I didn't read all the responses, so this might be a repeat, but I would just use the "pediatrician said no" excuse for not taking her to the mall or wherever. If you are going along and can wear her, that's another story.

I used this "excuse " as well, said I wanted to limit taking him out before he had his shots.

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