Parenting after 35

Lurker with a bad case of baby fever....

So DD1 will be 3 in October, and DD2 just turned 1 at the beginning of the month.  I'm 37 and DH is 43, we both work full time and pay just over $1000 in daycare. We have a 3 bedroom house with no room to spare.  Despite all of this, I STILL want another child!  I'm crazy to even think about it, but can't stop!  I have friends who say to just go for it, that it will all work it's self out, but I can't help but think it would be irresponsible to have another baby right now.  Not to mention the increased risk of a difficult pregnancy due to age....but I want to sit down and cry when I think about not having another baby.  If only we were rich!!!!!

/vent /sob fest over

Re: Lurker with a bad case of baby fever....

  • Big Smile I have 5 kids in a 3 bedroom house. Daycare is only expensive for a few years. And 37 isn't old - my doc rolled his eyes at me when I asked if I had to go to the high risk or obstetricians office instead of the low risk with S, y'know, being AMA and all. Being over 35 doesn't automatically put you into a high risk category, there are so many other factors.

    Your friend is right about it working itself out. When we found out we were expecting S, we weren't expecting to have any more, we had taken steps to ensure we were done. But, she's here, and we've made things work. $$ wise, E will only need care for 1 year (kindergarten is not full time here), so I'll have her fully in school in a year, K starts kindergarten next year, and then it's just S. And she was my easiest pregnancy and definately my easiest delivery - 3 hours of labour, 10lb 12 oz.

    If you and your DH really do want another, you'll find a way to make it work. And I wish I was rich too!!

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  • If you can afford everything else associated with a new baby - health care, food, clothes, day care etc - then I wouldn't let having a 3 bedroom house get in the way. Kids can share bed rooms :)
  • I'm with everyone else.  Keep your options open for another baby!  You still have time to think about it!  (I'm 43, and we might not be done.)  Oh, and I looove the name Eloise.  LOVE.  It was in my top three when we had Margaux.
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  • LOL- Do I thank you for reinforcing my desire for another baby?  :)  I haven't totally ruled it out yet, but feel that I need to make a decision in the next year.  Thanks for your support- It's nice to know it's still possible and that I wouldn't be totlaly irresponsible as long as we can afford the important stuff.  :)
  • Hi!  I totally sympathize as I am seriously considering TTC in a few months and I am going to turn 40 in November.  I keep thinking that it would be kind of silly since our house fits us perfectly now, we'll have to keep our nanny on longer which is a lot of money, and we'll lose the minimal free time we have now.  Plus being 40 adds a lot of risk.  But I can't stop thinking about it anyway and I'm pretty sure I'm going to do it!

    I agree with the others, you shouldn't rule it out if in your heart of hearts, you feel your family isn't complete!  You can make it work somehow!

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  • Ha, ha. I could have written this post!! DD is 3, DS is 18 mo (3 bedrooms, big daycare bill, full time work, etc) and I'm imagining what we would do with another. I feel your pain!! Keep us posted on your decision! GL
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  • I think the biggest hang up for me right now is the day care cost.  With 3 kids in day care it would be pointless for my husband to work (I make more and carry the insurance) but he is not cut out to be a stay at home dad.  I need to talk with my day care provider to see what the cost would be for 3 kids and if she would cut us a deal.

    Moral of the story- a 3rd baby is not completely out of the question! :)

    Thanks for your input!!!!

     

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