Hi. My 3 year old DD in the last few months has started randomly saying "I don't like you" to her daddy. It breaks DH's heart, and we are not sure why she is doing it. He's good to her. He spends plenty of one on one time with her, takes her fun places to play, etc. I'm completely perplexed, because until about age 2, DH was seriously her whole world. I'd started wondering why I was chopped liver, LOL! Then around 2 1/2 it's like a switch flipped and now she acts kind of hateful toward him. As far as I can tell, nothing has changed about their relationship, same amount of time together, etc.
Any thoughts or suggestions on why she's doing this, and how I can help? I did mention it to her pedi at her 3 year well visit, but he couldn't offer much other than, "sometimes kids just pick one parent over another". I get that, and I'd be alright I guess if she just seemed to favor one of us, but this outright nastyness towards DH is confusing...
Adding an extra level of confusion, at times, she's still very loving and cuddly with him. This hateful stuff is random.
Re: 3 year old tells daddy she doesn't like him
DD does this occasionally with DH. With her the circumstances are different because she's always been more attached to me and is used to me doing stuff for her most of the time - not that DH is a bad father at all, but especially since he graduated from law school and is working full time, with me as a SAHM, DD spends a lot more time with me. Usually when she says she doesn't like him it's when he's offering to do things for her or spend time with her. (BTW she does sometimes say she doesn't like me, but usually when she's mad at me.)
Usually how I deal with it is to explain to her that when she tells her dad (or anyone) that she doesn't like him, it hurts his feelings, and she wouldn't want anyone to tell her they don't like her. I don't get angry with her but I make it clear it makes her dad and me very sad. Empathy (from what I can tell) is a concept that she grasps more fully than most three-year-olds, but it's still not always natural to her, so it is something we are working on. It has definitely gotten better, though.
It's completely normal, kids this age are just trying out things and seeing what reactions they can get. Tell your DH to not take it personally.
When DD says this occasionally we make a game out of it. "Oh you don't want me to be your mommy?" "What would you like your new mommy to look like?" etc.
I miss you lite-brite!
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
Thanks everyone for the responses. I guess it does help to know my kid isn't the only one breaking her dads heart! Geez!
Anyway, I put some of your suggestions into play, and she's rarely said it these last couple weeks!