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February 2012 Moms
Laboring alone vs. With SO
I am nervous about laboring with my fianc? there. I am in the annoyed by my SO phase throughout this pregnancy. With my first I left my ex husband 7 months pregnant and labored alone. I mean completely. I woke my sister and went straight to the hospital when the pain got too much- and I was already 10 and they had to tell me not to push until my MW arrived. I labored for 12 hours alone and think I would prefer it that way again sometimes. I know this sounds strange, and I love my fianc?, I just do better with pain solo. Anyone else feel like they aren't sure about laboring with SO?
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Re: Laboring alone vs. With SO
I know what you're talking about. Last night I was feeling nauseous and my stomach hurt so I went to the guest room to sleep. DH came in to say he would sleep in there if I was uncomfortable and I almost bit his head off.
However, I do think I will need some more support. Some of my friends said that for the most part, their labor was kind of boring, so it'll be nice to have someone to talk with, fetch things. When the pain gets bad, I might send him to the corner though.
I absolutely understand. I actually do sadness better alone... when my Gpa died, I didn't want my DH beside me, I wanted to deal with it alone.
That being said, my DH is kind of terrible at comforting me. I gave him the choice to be with or not for two reasons, 1) He has trouble with gross stuff 2) He feels helpless when he can't comfort me and seeing him sad makes me sad. I am actually depending on my mom to be there for me. Props to you for doing it alone last time and I definitely agree with PP that you should talk to your FH about this. Communication is super important right now especially with your awesome pregnancy hormones raging. (:
C.
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I want DH there to hold my hand and help and so he can see the baby right away and be a part of it.
However... He gets queasy if you say the word 'blood' so we'll see how this goes.
I admire you! I wish I was brave enough to do this alone!
I had to have an IV put into my hand a few months ago and DH almost passed out just being in the room. I'm not confident at all that he won't pass out while I'm laboring.
That being said, I live over 4000 km from my family. We've only lived here for a year, so I haven't made friends that I would consider close enough to ask to be by my side. I'm seriously considering asking DH's aunt to come and be with me. She is a trained midwife and ended up working as a nurse in the Vancouver hospital's obstetrics ward for her entire career. She has helped deliver thousands of babies, so I think she would be a real comfort to have with me.
Do what makes you feel most comfortable, but be sure to discuss your feelings openly with SO. Listen to his side as well, as I can't imagine not being present for the birth of my child. Then again, for many years men were not allowed in the birthing room and they all made it through just fine. Good luck making your decision! I hope it works out for you!
Okay, that makes a lot of sense. I totally know what you're talking about with wanting to be alone when something bothers you (hence me sleeping in the guest room last night). I think as long as you warn him repeatedly that you may need some space and that if you tell him to back off, he needs to listen to you and not get offended.
To be honest I think I'm going to give my DH the same warning--I do value my husband's support, but might need him to support me from a distance.
BFP#1-02/21/11 Missed M/C Twins-03/25/11 EDD-11/04/11
BFP#2-10dpo- 05/27/11 EDD 02/03/12
Our miracle Aidan James born 01/25/12!!